


Rising Up From Ashes

by Ruunkur



Series: Rise from Ash [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chapter 19 has the violence, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-11-23 11:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 66,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunkur/pseuds/Ruunkur
Summary: Your name is Karkat Vantas.During the night, you are a troll on Alternia, helping your new empress quiet the masses as the power shifts over to her and your friends. During the day...you have strange dreams of another planet, another life. When you wake, you never remember these dreams of being a human.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please Note: This is a hybrid Humanstuck/Troll.
> 
> "Day" phases are in the human world, "night" phases are on Alternia and space.
> 
> I'm writing this fanfic as something to keep my mind busy and something to do. Hope you enjoy it, sorry if the characterizations get off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I am falling into a really bad depressive swing. Due to this, I am unsure if this story will be continued/finished. I will still try to get it complete, but I am uncertain at this point.

You sit down in the shady bar, feeling several different pairs of eyes on yours. The pin keeping your cloak closed was a gift from the empress, something that no one in the bar would have a right to claim to.

You smile, waving over a troll and ordering a drink, flashing a toothy grin before you set out to wait. You didn't know how long it was going to be until who you were seeking would show up, but you were prepared to wait. You take the drink that you ordered, nursing it slowly. It wouldn't do to get too deep into the cup now, not when you had work to do.

You lazily glance up when you hear the door open, seemingly unimpressed as the troll that walks in shambles over to you, plopping down in the chair across from you. You stare into the indigo eyes, feeling the room around you tense as you look into the familiar eyes surrounded by the all too familiar paint.

"Hey bro," the troll says, placing something on the table. You pass over the drink, nodding curtly to the indigo. Some of the other trolls quickly scurry out, you rolling your eyes as you tap the other troll on the nose.

"I told you to be inconspicuous." You say, rolling your eyes with an exasperated snort. "Not show up in your paint and color."

"Ain't no motherfucking hiding it," the troll gives off a loud honk, scaring the rest of the patrons, but those that stayed not wanting to leave in case they were in for a show.

"You're right, you look better with the face paint anyway." You reach over, patting the indigo's cheek. "The monster is settled, we're gathering the old ones. Do you have connections with you and yours?" You lean closer, breath barely touching the indigo's cheek as he moves nearer too. Your foreheads are almost touching, no one would be able to hear you unless they were as close as you.

"Now who's being motherfucking inconspicuous?" The troll laughs out a honking laugh and you roll your eyes. He moves only closer as he could, his forehead pressed against yours, horns going over your head. "We be at the ready, one day midnight. Fishsis already has the others with her. We be the last two planetside."

You roll your eyes and pull away, sitting straight. The other troll picks up your drink, tipping it back easily and grinning at you. You glance around the pub, watching several trolls duck their heads, though more than half had left at this point. You glance back up, seeing the indigo hovering next to you before you sigh, placing money on the table and standing.

"Damn it Gamzee, and I was hoping for a drink," you grumble, louder than was natural. But that got the remaining trolls looking closely. You grin, teeth flashing before you flick your cloak over your shoulder. Your symbol is etched in gray clear for others to see as you followed Gamzee out of the pub, the sounds of several trolls speaking following you out..

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are one of the new Empress's friends. Shambling next to you is Gamzee Makara, your unconventional matesprit, though no one but you two know that. You two are set to do great things once you reach the fleet, of which you are joining your friends to go on an expedition into space.

you and Gamzee make your way across the streets of Alternia, the empress's symbol embroidered on the back of your cloak. Each of your still planetside friends have the Empress's mark. You do her work, though really you keep an eye on things and make sure no one necessarily gets culled. When you were younger, you thought things would be different. And they are, only in ways you still can't quite comprehend.

Gamzee moves next to you, keeping his steps short. Despite being eight sweeps old, you are still short, something all of your friends comment on, something you swear you'll cull the next person if they continue on about. In the past half sweep, you have culled many trolls, all of whom wanted to start an uprising against the new empress.

The current Empress, Feferi Pexies, took the throne at the tender age of seven and a half sweeps. She reinstated the old cities, keeping most of the trolls fleet side while assassination attempts ran amuck. You are looking forward to getting off the planet and having an adventure of the life time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up, thinking you understand absolutely nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will rotate between human and troll.
> 
> Yes, there will be more than just Karkat's POV at some point.

_You stand at the front of a ship, an older troll standing next to you. He has a cloak pulled over his head, his face cast in shadow. You feel yourself holding your breath as he turns to you, reaching out a hand. It's quiet, it's always quiet at this time. No sound reaches your hearing ducts and you can't hear what the troll is saying. Then comes the pain, blossoming from your chest and expanding upwards._

You feel strong hands grip your shoulders, a shooshing side making your heart beat harder. Soft predawn lights filters through the window and at the edge of the bed, you can see someone typing away at a computer. You groan, closing your eyes and snuggling into the hard planes of your partner's chest.

"Hey KK, you okay?" The other person asks, looking up from his laptop.

"Yeah, just more damn nightmares." You say, closing your eyes. It's been the same kind of dreams in the same land since you were really young. You don't know what's wrong with you, but your brain has been telling an elaborate tale while you sleep. Some days, you wonder if this is the dream world and Alternia is real. Whenever you stay asleep past the time you sleep in the other world, you have daymares, as you call them there.

You squirm out of your partner's arms, looking at the half asleep Gamzee. His face bare, scars available for anyone to see. His eyes are half open, a small smile crossing his lips as he winks at you.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have the two best boyfriends anyone could ever ask for. You tell them this, in your own way, almost every day. Either through your variety of cursing or your small, affectionate actions for them. You are twenty, and as mentioned above, you have been suffering from strange, realistic dreams since you were young.

"Wanna talk about it bro?" Gamzee asks, sitting up and leaning against the wall. you currently live in a studio apartment. Gamzee lives with you full time, your other partner, Sollux, does not.

"Nah," you get off the bed, heading into the small kitchen, nearly tripping over Sollux in the process. Sollux merely rolls his eyes, moving his laptop to the edge of the bed, leaning against that instead.

"While you were asleep, or actually for the past month or so, I've been researching into the types of dreams you've been having." Sollux says, not looking up from the computer. "I might have found something that you'll find useful."

You look up from the bowl of cereal you're pouring, arching an eyebrow at Sollux. "Is the summery being I'm crazy?" You ask, Gamzee letting out a chuckle.

"Ain't no motherfucker that's crazy bro," he chimes in, earning him a glare from Sollux.

"I found a forum that has people that had...similar dreams to yours. Though they don't seem to have a fleshed out story. Listen to this from Fish Princess." He turns, clearing his throat. "When I was younger, I had dreams I was empress of a world that I can't remember the name for. Glub! It was exciting and I had lots of friends! I'm looking for others like me!"

You groan, shaking your head. "It's not possible that others dream the same world as me." You grumble.

"KK, get your head out of your ass and get over here." Sollux says, waving you over.

You roll your eyes, taking your bowl of cereal and moving to sit next to him. Gamzee adjusts his position, laying on his stomach to look over Sollux's shoulder, curious.

"There's one," he says, pointing a long finger at a response from 'Fish Princess'.

You eat your cereal as Sollux clicks on it, feeling your head ache. "Didn't you have plans with Dave today Sollux?" You ask.

Sollux rolled his eyes, looking at the response. "Yeah, the prick cancelled on me though."

"Is that why you showed up here?" You ask, rolling your eyes when Sollux punched you in the arm.

"Just shut up and listen." He grumbled, "This is the response, 'Hello Fish Princess, I do recall dreams like yours. My name is Kanaya Maryam and I have long wondered about the meaning behind the dreams. Perhaps you and I can discuss this in greater detail? I believe I had a specific job while I was on Alternia, but I ended up going in space with eleven other friends.' And it goes on," Sollux says, clearing his throat. "But look, two other people that have had the same type of dreams as you KK. Do you feel special now?"

"Sollux, I never thought it was special." You punch him back, keeping your bowl level as possible so you didn't spill it. "Why did Dave cancel on you?"

"His sister was in town, or something like that." Sollux sighs. "Family deal, meet her girlfriend..."

"Gamzee and I were talking about going to the amusement park as a end of semester celebration. Gamzee actually passed his classes."

The man chuckled behind you, the creepy laugh sending chills down your spin. He grinned, nodding at sollux. "Yeah, it'll be all sorts of motherfucking fun." He grins.

"Fine, it sounds better. Out of state?" Sollux asks.

"Yep, we have a hotel room for the night, plan on staying all day tomorrow, and head back the day after." You say, rubbing your eyes. You're still tired and you know that you haven't been getting nearly enough sleep. "And I'll even look more into the site if you send me a link."

Sollux nods, pulling up a chat client and sending the link to you. you get up from the floor with your empty bowl, Gamzee rolling onto his back to look at the ceiling. "When will we be up and leaving bro?" He asks, eyes half closed.

"We should head out in the next couple of hours," you say, putting the dish in the sink after washing it out. You turn back to them, nodding. "Get ready for the most fun you've had all month Captor!" You grin.

You get ready, packing what was needed while Sollux bitched, not wanting to his leave his computer behind. But you insist, saying phones only. It took about four hours to get everyone ready, making sure Gamzee was high enough to not freak out with the car ride, neither of you wanting a repeat of what happened last time. Sollux drives, your head on the window as Gamzee hums and sings along with the songs playing. It's enjoyable, spending time with both of your partners, knowing that it wasn't something that happened often enough.

You begin to drift, sinking into the dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a trip, taking naps is a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post this today as well, but I'm going to post this as well.

You open your eyes, glaring up at the clown above you. He presses a finger to his lips, offering you a hand.

You climb out of your 'coon, knowing it would be about midday. Not time to get up, but something upset your matesprit. You make your way through the small rooms, feeling Gamzee's fingers curl tighter around your wrist. You don't make a sound, keeping up with him. Already your sickle is in your hand, though have the downside effect of being completely nude for the moment.

You curse softly as your shin hits a small object, Gamzee pausing and looking at you, his indigo eyes burning. His hair is limp, his face paint nonexistent for the moment before he continues on. You make your way to the small door, Gamzee gesturing for you to stand to the side. You do so, staying still long enough to hear the sound of feet. You withhold a curse, watching as Gamzee opens the door, blinking in the faint light before someone comes crashing through.

You're on the troll in an instant, placing the sickle at their neck. You hear crying as the troll blubbers something before you smell the blood. You shift, Gamzee shutting the door and kneeling in front of the troll, looming over the figure.

"Hey motherfucker," he says, voice velvety in a way you know is dangerous but others might find soothing. "What's being the matter here?"

The troll looks up at Gamzee, your sickle moving with them so they did not cut themselves. "Caught...outside, in the sun." They whimper and you look more closely at them. They're half starved, eyes wild with fear.

"How many sweeps you be having?" Gamzee asks, not moving from his position, eyes calculating.

"F-four, maybe five." they whimper, Gamzee glancing at you. You remove your sickle completely, looking at the young troll.

"And who told you where to find us?" You ask, watching the troll begin to walk, tears the color of yellow beginning to stream down their face. "Gamzee, it's a ploy," you say, nodding towards the door. You feel the tensing of the troll under you relax, the figure sighing.

"Why couldn't you have just gone with it?" They mutter before you put the sickle at their throat again, the tip digging into it.

"Make one move and you'll kill yourself." You warn.

The yellowblood shifts and you feel the sickle cut. You curse, ending it quickly and looking at your hands, stomach lurching as you watch the yellow blood cover your blade before you realize it's on your hands, your shoulders shaking as you sob. You didn't want to be a killer, and now all you want is to curl up in your moirail's arms and cry for all the trolls that you have killed, for all the blood on your hands.

In the past half sweep, you have lost count of the number of trolls you had to cull. You stopped reporting numbers to Feferi, you stopped thinking about it. You stopped letting yourself cry after every troll you killed. Now you stare at the blood on your hands, think pan settling into shock as you try to convince yourself it is not your moirail on the floor, he is on the fleet with Feferi, where you will be that very night once they pick you up.

Arms wrap around you and the voice of your matesprit pierces your thoughts. With the absence of your moirail, he has done his best. You turn, burying your head in his shirt, letting yourself cry, something you thought you lost the ability to when you had to take the mantle for Feferi, culling what resistance there was. You let darkness take you as you cry, unable to hold on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking, it'll get you far in relationships.
> 
> **Sollux, Karkat, and Gamzee are in an open relationship.  
> Sollux and Karkat are dating, Gamzee and Karkat are dating, and Sollux is dating Dave.
> 
> Probable should have mentioned that sooner.

You jolt awake in the car, quickly wiping away the tears staining your cheeks. Both Sollux and Gamzee are gone, though you realize a moment later that you are in a gas station. You sit up, looking at your hands. They felt sticky, covered in blood with no signs of blood actually being there.

You get out of the car, heading into the gas station and making your way to the bathroom. You lock yourself in the single stall room, scrubbing your hands. They still feel dirty even when you come out five minutes later. You glance up, seeing Gamzee looking at snacks before you walk over, hands in your pockets.

"Hey bro, up from your nap?" He asks, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow.

"How long have we been driving?" You ask, looking over the snacks, not interested.

"Four hours, we'll be to Cali in another four." He says, a frown crossing his face. "Something happen bro?"

"No, I'm going back out to the car." It's all you say as you turn, walking back outside. You see Sollux by the tank, walking over and hugging him, your head on his back. He looks back around, frowning.

"You okay KK?" He asks, concern in his voice.

"I had a dream that I killed someone." You say finally, voice muffled. "I'm only telling you, don't tell Gamzee." You warn. "It was on the other planet, and the...troll I killed had yellow blood."

"Yellow?" Sollux questions.

"Yeah, there's a whole cast system based on blood," you mutter. "Not to mention that the quadrant system is confusing as all hell. But...look, you and Gamzee have always been in my dreams."

"Wow KK, I knew you loved us, but you don't have to get sappy." Sollux shifts his weight and you let go, glaring at him.

"Not like that shithead," you grumble. "You and Gamzee have your own...troll essences there too. Damn it, there is a troll clown named Gamzee Makara. And a psionic based troll named Sollux Captor."

"That...is creepy," Sollux says, leaning against the car. "And you haven't told us this before why?"

"Because it was dumb," you mutter. "Anyway, in the dream, Gamzee and I are....the word for it is matesprit, flushed lovers.. Red for each other? And you're there, only you're not on the planet side of things. Haven't been for half a sweep if I'm remembering that right. And we're...aso dating, but the term moirail is used..." You pause, glancing over at him and feeling embarrassed. "Look I..."

"I am curious about your dreams KK." Sollux says, leveling a gaze at you.

"You have the same blood color as the troll I culled." You say finally. "Yellow, similar to mustard. It...rattled me, both there and here."

"But I'm still alive, here and there." Sollux says, finishing with the gas and glancing at the store. "I don't think you would hurt your friends, no matter where you are. That's what you're afraid of, right?"

You nod, shoulders relaxing as Sollux walks back over to you, hugging you and kissing your forehead. "It'll be okay KK," he promises.

You return the hug, relaxing at the thought, glad for the comfort. "I'll just give you more hell than usual when I meet up with you again in my dreams." You decide.

"Do you remember this place when you sleep?" Sollux asks.

You open your mouth, caught off guard by the question. "No, not to my knowledge." You admit. "There never seems time to sit and think about it when I'm there."

"Hey bro," Gamzee said, coming up to the car. You jump, feeling your heart race before Sollux rolls his eyes.

"Did you need fifteen bottles of faygo?" He asks.

"Damn it Gamzee, you said you were laying off the faygo," you say, turning to Gamzee and eyeing his bags.

"Hey, it's the first time I've seen Faygo in a while." He shrugs, flashing you a smile. "I'll share with you bro, if you want some."

You groan and climb into the front seat, moving some trash around before packing it into a plastic bag and handing it to Sollux to toss. The tech kid rolls his eyes but does so, getting into the car once you deemed it clean enough and you hit the road.

You pull up to the hotel several hours later, your head aching as you sit up in the back seat. For the past two, you have felt sick and had Gamzee switch with you so you could lay down. You hadn't been able to get to sleep, not wanting to wake up to the dead troll, though you are almost positive that the Gamzee troll would have taken care of it.

You sit up slowly as sollux pulls up to the hotel, rubbing at your eyes. It's nearly five in the afternoon and you only recall eating the bowl of cereal earlier that morning.

You head into the reception area, walking over to the man at the desk with a nop. "Hello, I have a reservation for Karkat Vantas."

The man nodded, setting down his magazine and turning to his computer. He pulled up the reservation, glancing over at Karkat. "May I see id please?"

"Sure," you fish out your wallet, sliding over your ID. The man looks at it, raising an eyebrow before passing it back. "Vantas isn't a common name, is it?"

"No?" You respond back, taking the ID when he handed it back. "May I get the keys?"

The man nodded, passing keys back. "Room 105, check out will be the day after next at noon. If you need anything, we do have room service. Enjoy your stay,"

You nod, tucking the keys back in your pocket with your wallet. "Thanks... Mr Ampora?"

"Yep," the kid glanced at you before picking back up his magazine. You turn, heading back to the car. You stare at Gamzee sitting on the roof, rubbing your temples.

"Down!" You shout, Gamzee glancing at you and scrambling off with a sheepish grin. "What the hell are you thinking?" You ask, watching him with a sigh.

"I wanted to see what I could see," Gamzee grinned.

"Told him it was a bad idea." Sollux sighed, getting out of the car. "What room number are we?" He asks.

"Room 105, get in the car," you say, poking Gamzee.

"Ah bro, it was just for fun," he grins, piling into the back seat with you. Sollux rolls his eyes, starting the car and pulling up to room 105. He stretches out, laying his head in your lap. "What are we up and doing 'bout dinner?" He asks.

"We can order something in. I think I'm going to bed early though," you say through a yawn.

"You should eat first," Sollux says, eyeing you. You grumble but not, agreeing to it.

Twenty minutes later, food was delivered and Gamzee was sitting on the bed, Sollux looking at the room with an arched eyebrow.

"All three of us on one bed?" He asks.

"It was just supposed to be the two of us," You say, stretching in the chair as you eat. "I can sleep on the floor if you want the bed Sollux."

"Nah, I... I would say I have work to do, but someone wouldn't let me take my computer." He frowns, Gamzee offering him a smile.

"I'll take the motherfucking floor," he said with a soft honk. "Or we be motherfucking seeing if they can bring up a cot for one of us."

"I'll take the bed with Sollux then," you say, picking up the hotel phone and calling out.

"Front desk," the receptionist says.

"Hey Ampora, can we get a cot in room 105?" You ask, recognizing the voice.

"Sure, it'll be up in about ten minutes." He says, seeming careful about choosing his words.

"Thanks," you hang up, finishing your plate of food and flopping onto the bed face first. Sollux nudges you over, curling up and resting his head on your back. You grumble but don't say anything, the darkness pulling you down before the cot even arrives.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you meet up with your moirail and want to punch him for ignoring you.
> 
> It's been a long half a sweep for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Alternia, Karkat is moirails with Sollux, Matesprit with Gamzee.
> 
> There's something going on between Sollux and Feferi, haven't decided yet.
> 
> Enjoy!

You're groggy as you wake. It's early in the night, you can tell. You heave yourself out of the coon, stumbling over to wipe the extra slime off. Today is the day that you meet up with your friends on the ship. You feel excitement bubble up in you. Today is the day you can see your moirail again.

You dress, fastening your cloak over your shoulders. you feel warm, despite the room being cold. You glance around, walking to the bottom floor of the hive to see Gamzee having just finished cleaning.

The taller troll stands, leaving the floor on the rag and taking you into your arms. "Hey motherfucker, the fleet is waiting." He says, his breath whispering against your hair. "Fefsis is planetside, the public adores her."

You blink, looking up at Gamzee and relaxing. "I thought it wasn't until midnight?" You ask, pulling away after giving him a kiss, your fingers touching his cheek just briefly to study the paint.

"I got word up, she came in earlier," Gamzee shrugs, pulling away and looking down at Karkat. "You've been motherfucking out of it for a few perigee now. I be figuring that Solbro is the best thing for it."

You nod, relieved at the thought. "What about the troll from earlier?" You ask, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"Disposed of," Gamzee says, taking a step towards the door. "Fefsis plans on getting a palace set up here for herself."

"Royalty on planetside will really help." You say, hand on the door of the hive. Gamzee nods, and you push the door open, walking into the falling night.

You bask in the moonlight as it rises, Gamzee on your heels. Already trolls are gathering to watching you walk. It had been more common in the recent weeks, as you and Gamzee's work for the empress became more well known. Half of you wanted to hid, but the other half held your head high.

You feel Gamzee move to his full height, several trolls stepping back as you head to the center plaza of the town. You look up, watching the spaceship come down, a gang plank coming to rest near the exact center of the plaza.

You look up at the ship, breath taken by the beauty. You have never seen a ship this close up, but you are amazed by how large it is. You turn your attention to the first person who walks down, offering Feferi a small bow, a grin on your face.

She walks forward, hugging you tightly, the trolls in the area glancing at each other, not daring to say anything as Feferi turns, moving to hug Gamzee as well.

You glance at the troll population, feeling your eyes glaze over. You are being tugged up to the ship and you reach up, unpinning your cloak and letting it fall before you step onto the ship, hearing Feferi laugh.

"Kanaya is going to be upset that you lost the cloak she made for you." She giggled, turning to look at the trolls. She raises her trident, smiling. "To a new future for Alternia!" She shouts.

You listen to them call back as you head up the way, Gamzee following Feferi. "I have spent too long bottling up everything I have to say in order to keep the masses calm." You say, turning to Feferi as she joins you on the spaceship. "We have put out so many fires, as Vriska would be upset to hear. The little rebellions; the trolls that just wanted to whine. Why were Gamzee and I left behind to deal with the nookstain mess that is changing of power?" You demand, knowing it was only you three in the area.

"Well Karcrab," Feferi begins but you hold up a hand.

"I want to get it off my chest that I will not be the token troll to be paraded around by the masses simply because some troll decided I have a friendly demeanor and a friendly attitude. I will be taking that up with Kanaya next time I speak with her. I would like to also remind you, your highness, that if you wish to move planet side, you will have to figure out what to do with those still in the fleet. If you remember, everyone at the age of eight sweeps were sent up there. We got lucky due to the fact that Her Imperial Condescendence was lax in her reign, believing that she was safe. Now, have you decided where you were even going to set up location." You take a breath, feeling a hand cover your mouth.

"He be not speaking much since you all up and motherfucking left us to take care of stuff," Gamzee says with a small grin. "He be wanting to save it all for you."

"God, is that my insufferable moirail I hear shouting on the docking area?"

You break out of Gamzee's hold, turning on your heel and walking the small distant to where Sollux was standing. You look up at him as he leans over the railing, smirking at you.

"This sniveling piece of bulge sucker didn't even have the fucking gall to answer my pestering on trollian. What type of fuckery is it that you decide to just ignore you moirail?" You ask, glaring up at him, though you feel more relaxed than you have been in a while.

"BOYS!" Feferi shouts, making you jump. "There will be no shouting on my ship. You can take your moirail session elsewhere, but there are things we have to brief you on Karkat."

"For the love of all... I thought you were going to send us updates on trollian?" You turn to Feferi, raising an eyebrow. "I sent my reports every fucking week, letting you know just how much..." You take a breath, calming yourself. "Yes, can I talk with Sollux first?"

"Yes, I would like to talk to Karkat too, first, if you don't mind FF." Sollux says, meeting Feferi's gaze.

"Of course," Feferi said with a nod, the ship taking off. Gamzee nods at you, ambling off to another part of the ship to find the others and see what they had been up to. You glance between Sollux and Feferi, frowning.

"What have you been keeping from me?" You ask, heading towards the stairs to greet your moirail.

"Promise you won't flip off the handle." Sollux says, raising his hands.

"I...what the hell kind of promise is that?" You demand, crossing your arms. "I'm not here for more than five minutes and you're already telling me to not flip off the fucking handle? Well, here is me, remaining unflipped off the handle. Sollux, I didn't hear from you for nearly the entire time I was planetside and I sent you messages. What happened?"

"This was my ancestor's ship," Feferi says, voice solemn as she looks over to Sollux.

"And?" You ask, glancing between them.

"My ancestor is the helmsman," Sollux says, looking at you.

"Between Sollux, Equius, and I, we have been trying to find if there is a way to detach him from the ship to give him a moment's peace before he...." Feferi pauses, reaching up and rubbing at her eyes. "Well, he's in bad shape."

"He's going to die the moment you detach him from the ship," you guess, turning and tugging Sollux into your arms, feeling how tense your moirail was. "Why didn't you message me?"

"I couldn't... I tried to, I couldn't bring myself to tell you over message." Sollux says, voice hoarse. You take a breath, nodding at Feferi.

"We will meet you the start of tomorrow evening, can everything else wait until then?" You ask.

"Yes, it can." Feferi decided. "Tomorrow evening, there will be a communal fast breaking for us twelve." She nods, glancing at the receding planet.

You have Sollux lead you to his respiteblock, sitting down on the pile he had made while you were planetside. You brush your hands through his hair, listening to him cry silently, shoulders shaking. You hold him, letting him cry before he looks up at you, wiping away the rest of his tears.

"You didn't expect him to be alive; none of our ancestors were supposed to be alive," you hear yourself saying.

"Yeah, I just...it was surprising," he says finally and you nod, realizing how much you missed this.

"Cuddling Gamzee is like playing a game of which fucking stick is stabbing you," you murmur, listening to Sollux laugh.

"I'm going to answer your messages," Sollux says. "You are not a bad troll for the blood on your hands. Your hands...they're clean KK." He murmurs. "I'm sure your matesprite and your kismesis would say the same thing."

"Yesterday, around noon, I killed another yellowblood," you find yourself saying, your voice choking. "Before, it was blue and up, maybe some teal or green bloods, but mostly the higher class. And when I killed the yellowblood.... They snuck in during the day, to where Gamzee and I were staying. I didn't actually want to do it. I thought if I scared them enough, they would back down, but with my sickle at their throat, they moved the wrong way and it was so much blood... The higher bloods take forever to bleed out, but the yellow... I thought it was you for a moment..." You close your eyes, Sollux resting a hand on your cheek.

"I'm right here KK, you can't kill me if you tried." He promises, hugging you once more.

You nod, getting up after a while of silence, not wanting to break the comfortable peace. "I want to meet your ancestor." You say finally.

"Very well, I need to see to him tonight still." Sollux says, following you up. He leads you out of his block, heading into the deeper part of the ship and up. You enter a room, hearing Equius's voice and someone else's before Sollux clears his throat.

"Hey EQ, can I get a moment?" Sollux asks, the blue blood looking up from where he was conferring with Feferi.

"Yes, please know that we may have figured out how to painlessly get him out of the hold without further damage, but he won't last long outside." Equius says, offering you a small nod of his head before he and Feferi leave, Feferi glancing back at Sollux in concern.

You walk over to where they have been, your stomach lurching but your face remaining neutral as you look up at the troll. You nod, feeling his eyes turn to yours.

"I'll read the transcripts of what he says," Sollux says, taking a step towards a monitor behind you. You nod, meeting the Helmsman's gaze.

"Hello... You look like someone I once knew. What is your name young troll?"

You swallow, listening to Sollux's calm voice read what the Helmsman was typing. "My name is Karkat Vantas. I've been told my ancestor was another mutant like me-"

"The Signless, I remember him well. He was a good friend, him and his disciple. Dolorosa raised him well. I hear that you help the new empress take the throne." The troll looks at you, and you feel his pain, his arms strapped above him, his body taut where it was held in place.

"Yes, I want to..." You hesitate, unsure of what you want. "I want you to know that this will never happen again. Not while Feferi rules." You say, keeping your gaze steady.

"That is a noble vow of you Karkat Vantas. Your ancestor would have liked to live to see the day... Your friends span the hemospectrum. It is...amazing to see so many blood colors work so well together."

"We are equal," you say, gritting your teeth. "You will bring peace to the planet. I will personally cull any troll that tries to harm another."

"Then won't you be in the same situation? You will have the blood of hundreds on your hands and your heart will weigh heavily. Think of what you say before you agree to it."

"There will be peace!" You nearly shout this, feeling Sollux's hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I feel the anger the Signless must have felt when he died. I want to bring peace, so all those that are raised here understands what it is like to be safe."

"You have heard his ideals. I am impressed. I hope your ideals does not mean you meet the same fate as he did. Your Feferi seems like a wonderful troll. It makes me wonder..."

"Wonder what?" You ask, watching the Helmsman.

"Wonder how The Condesce ever spawned such a lovely young troll. I will leave you to think. Take care of your moirail. Good bye, young Karkat Vantas."

You turn, looking helplessly at Sollux before you hug him, the two of you retreating to his respiteblock for the longest feeling jam you could imagine having in one night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little fun with your partners is all you need to forget, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so y'all know, I don't have an actual plot for this fanfiction. It'll go as long as I have, but I believe there is an actual end. The troll side has a plot, the human side is....dealing with the mental consequences of the horrors of being a troll and killer?  
> To be honest, he doesn't want to do it.
> 
> Any questions, please comment! Always happy to hear opinions and thoughts! And criticisms as well!
> 
> Also love Ghost Rider at Knott's Berry Farm. Favorite roller coaster, followed by Fire In the Hole at Silver Dollar City. I love amusement parks. Roller coasters are great man.

You wake up, feeling Sollux grumble beside you as you move, finding that they had put you to bed with your head on the pillow. Sollux, at some point, had put his head on your shoulder, drooling on you. You roll your eyes, escaping into the bathroom to wash your face.

It is early morning, not quite time to go find breakfast. You look at yourself in the mirror, pushing brown hair out of your face to get a better look at yourself. Your eyes are a normal brown, your skin pale from lack of sun. You jump when you hear someone complain from the other room, turning off the bathroom light. You sneak past the cot, walking over to the window and throwing the curtains wide open, letting the morning light stream in.

"Good morning everyone!" You say, voice loud enough to wake both Gamzee and Sollux. The later glares up at you, flipping you off before putting a pillow over his head. "Today, we are going to have some good old fashioned fun at an amusement park! Did you remember to bring your taller shoes Sollux? I would hate for you to not be able to ride any of the rides due to height."

"The only one that has to worry about that is your short ass," Sollux says, throwing the pillow your way. You catch it in one hand, waggling a finger at him.

"That just won't do. We have two hours before the park opens. We will go to the restaurant that is near there and eat breakfast. Then we will get our tickets and we will have the best fucking day of our lives even if it kills us! Now, get out of bed, get dressed, make sure you don't put on face paint Gamzee. You don't want it washing off in the water." You walk around the room, getting dressed yourself as you talk.

Gamzee rolls off the cot, sneaking up behind you and lifting you in a hug. "Bro, it is too motherfucking early for you too be this energetic. Last night, you motherfucking pass out and nearly suffocate yourself cause you are being lousy at sleeping. Today, you be all up and motherfucking running around before it is even eight in the morning. What sort of miracles have overfilled your head?"

He sets you back down and you turn, crossing your arms and looking up at him.

“Fuck your miracles Gamzee. I am downright joyous for being out of town and able to spend the day with the two best god damn partners anyone can have in any universe and I am going to enjoy every single blasted minute I am able to spend with you two. Can’t I just be happy for that?” You ask, resting your hands on your hips and cocking an eyebrow.

“He’s gone off his rocker. Hey, KK, reminder that I don’t have money to actually pay for a ticket for myself.” Sollux says, waving a hand in front of your face.

“Don’t worry about it, everything is on me today,” you say, turning to grin at Sollux.

“He lost his mind Gamzee,” Sollux decides and you roll your eyes.

“We haven’t had a vacation in a long time. Can we just enjoy the day and not worry about anything?” You ask, meeting Sollux’s gaze. “I’ll even make sure we take enough pictures to make Dave jealous. Hell, next one of these we take, we can invite Dave with us. Everyone needs a break, right?”

“KK, last time you and Dave were in a room together, you ended up drawing dicks on one of his sister’s textbooks.” Sollux points out.

“Yeah, well, that was one time.” You say, crossing your arms again and sticking out your tongue. The events of the dream was still in your head, the look of horror in troll Sollux’s eyes after seeing the mutilated body of his ancestor. You swallow, unable to bring it up.

Yesterday had been the first time you told Sollux any real details about the dreams when you weren’t high off your rocker. Though you had babbled enough while high that he had gotten a pretty good picture. Small details and the day to day dreams were what you had been keeping from both of them. Gamzee had been okay with letting you keep your secrets, but something was pressing you to tell both of them more the longer the dreams go on. You sigh, lowering your arms and watching them.

“I just want to have some fun, forget the stress of my current state of being. And damn it, we will have some fucking fun, you understand?” You say, locking eyes with Sollux, then with Gamzee, who was already starting to smoke.

Sollux nods, watching you. “It’ll be the best day for everyone,” he decides. “Breakfast, then get tickets and go ride some rides?”

You nod, a grin on your face as you pull out your bag, beginning to get changed.

Breakfast at the small cafe attached to the amusement park was rather boring. It passed quickly and soon you were off to the park, getting an extra ticket for Sollux and passing through the gates.

You always enjoyed going to amusement parks when you were younger. Before Gamzee became a permanent fixture in your life, your father had taken him and you to this exact same amusement park for your birthday three years running. It had been when you were still too short to ride some of the rides, but this year you made absolutely sure that you were tall enough to ride everything.

You head straight for the giant wooden roller coaster that you always admired as a kid. You make your way up to the line, feeling your heart thrum in excitement. Sollux and Gamzee struggle to keep up with you, both cursing your impatience. You turn to them, raising an eyebrow.

“We’ll have to get pictures on all the rides, we can pick them up before we leave the park today.” You say, Sollux taking a breath and meeting your gaze.

“Do you have a limit on what you’re willing to spend today?” He asks.

“Yes, as long as I don’t spend everything I currently have in my bank account.” You say, taking both of their hands and dragging them to the very front car. “Since there’s three of us, we’ll have to switch up who sits with who,” you say, rambling mostly to yourself. “There are rides where you can get three in a row, and of course the water rides will be similar, more people to the ride than just two.”

“KK, take a breath,” Sollux suggests, Gamzee leaning against the railing while they waited for their turn. “If you plan too far ahead, you’re going to lose track of what you’re doing.”

“We’re going to ride every ride in the park.” You decide.

“I can’t motherfucking stand Supreme Scream,” Gamzee says, idly looking at the map that you three had been given. “I’ll sit that one out.”

You nod, understanding completely. “I can’t do it either, yourself Sollux?”

“That’s the one where you go straight up and drop down? No thanks, I’m good,” Sollux responds, grimacing. “I’ll keep my stomach right where it is.”

“Great!” You say, getting into the Ghost Rider when it was your turn. You sit next to Sollux up at the front, Gamzee right behind you. You flash him a grin before it takes off, finding a thrill in the old wooden roller coaster.

The day passes in a blur, your excitement only growing with each ride. Near three pm, you three took a break, sitting around a small table with food. You relax, glancing between Gamzee and Sollux. The two look at ease as well, Gamzee happily ignoring the looks his scars earned him.

You lean over, taking his hand and leaning against Sollux, humming under your breath.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you happy, but you are being overly happy. Something happen KK?" Sollux asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I’m just glad that I’m here with you two.” You say, snapping a picture of Gamzee eating before grinning at Sollux. Sollux grinned back, you taking a shot of him smiling.

“Come on KK, delete that!” Sollux says, crossing his arms in protest.

“Do I have to?” You ask, finger hovering over the delete button. “I will if you want me too.”

“Hmm, can you take a better one then?” Sollux asks, seeming to relax. You nod, deleting it and scooting closer to sollux, resting your head on his shoulder and turning it on selfie mode before snapping another picture, Sollux seeming more happy in this one.

Gamzee grins, getting up from his place and hunkering down behind you as you take another selfie, the three of you giggling over the funny faces as you continue. You stop after a couple of minutes, putting your phone into power saver mode before getting up to throw away your trash.

“Come on, we have a couple more rides to do, then we start going through ones again. I want to end on Ghost Rider, as we hit twilight.”

The two nod and you throw away the trash, heading out to go through more rides. You enjoy the day, Gamzee at one point letting little kids examine the scars on his face, the two of them making up stories of how he got them in a battle.

The three of you make one final loop around the park before catching the final ride on the Ghost Rider, Sollux sitting next to you once more as you take a final ride, the pictures on a flash drive in your pocket of the day. You get the final Ghost Rider picture, picking a place at random to eat before heading back to the hotel, Sollux taking the cot for the night.

You nestle down in bed, looking up at the ceiling, a smile still on your face as Gamzee flicked through the channels on the tv. “Thanks for the fun day,” you murmur, wondering what seemed so important.

“Not a problem,” Sollux says, glancing up from his phone. “Thanks for inviting me, I sent Dave some of the pictures.”

“Yeah bro, it’s motherfucking nice to get away for the day,” Gamzee says, clicking off the tv and crawling into bed next to you. You scoot closer to Gamzee, patting the bed for Sollux.

“Come on, all three of us can be up here,” you say, wanting the comfort and closeness of your partner.

Gamzee moves over a bit more, you moving with him while Sollux climbs into bed, the fight just a tad tight. But you relax, falling into sleep without thought of the horror of the mutilated troll that awaited you on the ship.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you have to make the decision to let someone no longer suffer.
> 
> And in which your dreams make you want to float on a flock of flightbeasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we start switching of POVs.
> 
> This takes place from Sollux's.
> 
> Also, I don't edit these, sorry. They kinda go up as I finish them. I'm not even sure if flightbeast would be the right term for bird.

Your name is Sollux Captor and you had dreams of an amusement park and laughter. Nestled next to you is your moirail, who has been planetside while you dealt with the horrible realization that your ancestor was still alive. You didn’t tell him because you yourself didn’t want it to be true.

It’s later than you anticipate when you wake. But you feel more well rested than you have in a while. You stretch, climbing out of the ‘coon and cleaning yourself off before heading out, blinking at the corridors.

You glance back at Karkat, heading back into the room and shaking him awake and grumbling. It looks like you two would be late for the communal evening meal.

While Karkat wakes up, you get dressed, thinking back on your dreams. Ever since you were a wriggler, you had dreams of another planet. You enjoyed those dreams, finding solace in the human world. You have never told anyone about these dreams, figuring that they would get you culled, though you’re not sure if Feferi would cull you now that she had taken over the empire. She might even find them amusing and would make you tell her all about them. Though there were days you questioned your feelings for the Empress.

You throw a towel at Karkat as he gets out of the ‘coon, telling him to hurry up as you finish dressing. You glance back at Karkat, the troll looking almost lost.

“Something wrong KK?” You ask, watching him.

“It just feels….weird,” he says after a moment, turning to you. “I guess I didn’t believe that I was actually here last night. I almost expected to wake up planetside with…”

You walk over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Well, as far as I can tell, you’re here now.” You say, nodding at him. “We twelve are together again.”

“What do you dream about?” Karkat asks, catching you off guard.

You look at him, frowning. “Why do you ask?”

“You have a goofy look on your face that says you had a good night’s sleep. But it’s like you had dreams that took you to the highest possible reach you can get and floated down the entire way on wings of a flock of flightbeasts that took you all the way down to the bottom and landed you gently so you could sing the praises of those on high.” Karkat grumbles.

“I dreamed about being human, you remember the humans we talked to a while ago?” You ask, beginning to lead the way to the ship’s lunch room.

“Yeah, they’re were full of themselves.” Karkat responds. “Especially Stider,”

“Well, I dream of a world where I live...among their people. I’m human, you’re there. Loud and as obnoxious as ever.” You say, turning to look at Karkat. “Those dreams have been a little slice of peace since we’ve started this whole thing. And you know what’s funny?”

“What?” Karkat stares at you and you realize you are taller than the other troll. You weren’t sure when that happened.

“You talk about a world in your dreams that is similar to this.” It clicked then, what your dream Karkat had been saying. “You were upset about killing a yellowblood and dragged us to an amusement park. And it was fun,”

“That’s...stupid,” Karkat says after a moment. “I mean, yes I was upset that I killed that yellowblood last night because of how much they reminded me of you. Who else figures in these dreams?” Karkat asks, curiosity piqued.

“Gamzee’s there, Dave obviously…” You pause, trying to think.

“Are you sure your subconscious that think pan isn’t over stressed and giving you a way out?” Karkat asks.

You continue walking when you realize you’ve stalled, shaking your head. “You’ll remember this conversation in the morning, in that world. I bet anything you will.” You say, more of a warning than a bet.

“I think we’ve both cracked our thinkpans,” Karkat says finally, following you to the lunch room. “We’ve under so much stress, we’ve finally lost what little uncracked think pan we’ve had and have gone off the utterly deep end without having actually flipped off the handle. We didn’t land in boiling water, we’ve landed in the flames of utter fucking craziness. I’m out of shitty insults to give, I can’t keep passing them out like cheap candy.”

You raise an eyebrow, shaking your head. “Next time you go planetside, I think I’ll go with you. Staying with Gamzee is probably bad for your health.”

“He’s bad for everyone’s health.” Karkat grumbles.

“Why do you put up with him?” You ask, picking the longer path to the lunchroom, happy to spend time with Karkat.

“Because he’s the stain that makes my blood pusher ache with pity.” Karkat responds, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t choose to pity him, it just sort of happened over the sweeps and after a while, I realized it was something that was stringing me along and through the waters that is fate, I fell for him so hard.”

“You were pale, then went flushed.” You grin.

“I was pale for you first,” Karkat says, unwilling to let you get in the last work as both of you walk into the lunchroom and greeting the gathered trolls.

“Sorry we’re late FF, tried to be here faster.” You nod at the empress as she looks up from a plate of food, gesturing for you both to sit down.

“Come, fill your nutrition sacks, the cooks on the ship make absolutely delicious food!” She grins, words aimed at Karkat. “Even beta now that they no longer are using the trolls that had to be krilled before I could get to my ancestor.”

“That was...six months ago.” Karkat says, taking a seat between you and Gamzee. The troll lets out a soft honk, passing his matesprit a plate.

“Yeah, there was a lot of trolls that needed cullin’,” Eridan says from his spot on the other side of Feferi, a book in hand. “They wweren’t happy wwith us attacking them,”

“Yes, I know that,” Karkat says. “But why did the cook try to cook the dead trolls?”

“It’s a deliciously that only the highest of high bloods would let themselves partake in.” You say, rolling your eyes. “EQ, any update on the Helmsman?”

“Yes, I have figured out how to detach him, it will probably be later tonight that this happens. While I was doing research, there was an idea of making a detachable helmsman.” Equius says, glancing up from his own notepad.

You know most of your group does work while you eat. Aradia is chatting with Tavros, Nepeta looking over Equius’s calculations, Kanaya working on sewing under the table, Terezi and Vriska bickering about where on the ship to explore next and Feferi being the only one not working while she eats. You yourself, were content on enjoying the food, Gamzee turning to tell Tavros and Aradia some of what happened while he and Karkat were planetside.

“Can we run the detachable Helmsman by the Ψiioniic before we detach him?” You ask, preferring to use the Helmsman’s old title.

“Would it be beneficial?” Feferi asks. “I would rather not see the Helmsman in any more pain than he is in now.”

“I want him to know, that if this works, there will be no more trolls grafted onto a ship for a troll’s sick pleasure.” You say, meeting Feferi’s gaze.

“Wwhat an honorable troll you’ll turn out to be,” Eridan says, looking up from his book.

“You may want to keep your comments to yourself in way of Sollux and his ancestor Eridan. I would hate for a black romance fight to break out over our food.” Kanaya says, looking up. “Also, Karkat, must you lose cloaks by the closet full? That last one was specifically made to suit you.”

“It must have gotten caught while I was coming onboard.” Karkat says with a small grin. “But maybe in the future I’ll take better care of my clothing.”

“I would suggest you do otherwise soon, you will have no clothing to take care of. I will not make you more clothing until you learn the art of sewing and see how much time I put into such fine cloaks.” Kanaya comments.

“I just get back and I’m already being treated like I’m a wiggler,” Karkat grumbles.

“Maybe if you took better care of your clothes…” Kanaya interjects.

“Didn’t ED and I get in trouble for black flirting just a moment ago?” You ask, amused as Feferi sighs.

“I think talking to the Ψiioniic is a good idea for making an item that can be much more….useful. I would like to set all the helmsmen free from the position that they were forced into.” Feferi says. “If I am to go planetside as is, we would have no need for….”

“Permanent power sources in ships?” You supply, watching Feferi squirm.

“Yes,” she says. “May I go with you when you talk to him?”

“Yeah, it’ll be me, KK, you, and EQ.” You decide, Karkat glancing up from the food he was shoveling into his mouth. He swallows and nods, you pushing your own uneaten food away.

“Before we go,” Feferi clears her throat, standing at the head of the table and gathering everyone’s attention. “It’s been a glubbing while since we’ve all been together,” she begins, fingers dancing on the edge of the table. “But I wanted to thank everyone for everyfin they did to get us here. We’re a group of wigglers compared to the fish we fried and I wanna say that you all are the reason I’m here now. You all have roles to play going forward, but I want you all to know how much you mean and by doing that, I want to make sure all of you have a place in my world going forward. I don’t care what your blood color is, you are all my friends. Tomorrow night, we will begin with moving forward, tonight is for joyous celebration of being all together again.”

She sits back down, a blush coloring her cheeks as you nod. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I think we’re behind you.” You say, listening to your other friends whoop and holler in agreement.

“Feferi, for all the shit you put us through, we have cemented our bonds of friendship spanning the hemospectrum and the sweeps for which we’ve known you. You would be out of your thinkpan if you think you would get rid of us now.” Karkat joins in, nodding at the empress.

“Good!” She glubs, getting up. “Let’s go see about the Ψiioniic.” She gets up and you follow, Karkat and Equius joining you momentarily.

You know the route well to the Ψiioniic’s post. You spent every night for nearly half a sweep since you found him, talking with him and getting to know him and what had happened before. The others thought you were crazy, but you decided it was a chance to get to know your ancestor, something that only Feferi would have dreamed of happening. Your stomach turns at the thought of proposing the idea of the detachable helmsman to him, but you want to make sure it’s something that could happen in the first place.

You step into the room, Feferi and Equius stopping a little further away. Karkat follows you and you nod at him. “Can you read the transcripts KK?”

“Sure,” the troll walks over to the computer and you turn your attention to the Ψiioniic, feeling the pain in the chest that you have grown accustomed to whenever you saw him.

“Hello young Captor, what brings you here today?”

“I wanted to talk to you about an idea,” you say, meeting his gaze. “And give you hope.”

“Hope is all I have had since you culled the Condesce,”

“I’m working with a friend, the same blue blood that is helping me get you out. We have found a way to make a helmet that will be hard wired into the ship and that a psionic can wear, but not be forced to give up their freedom. With Feferi planning on going planetside, there wouldn’t be much need for it, but I want you to know that what happened to you and all the others, won’t happen again.”

You meet the Ψiioniic’s gaze, your jaw set.

He meets your gaze, surprise and hope flashing in his eyes, something like laughter bubbling up from his throat.

“The descendents of the twelve of the biggest names in my time will be able to make what myself, the Signless, Rosa, and the Disciple could never make happen. I am impressed that you are all still young. You will right many wrongs young Captor. I am proud of you. I approve of the idea, and you will do well. Our descendents are always greater than what we were.”

“You blazed the trail for us to follow,” Karkat says, turning to the Ψiioniic. “My ancestor, you, his friends, you decided to fight for what was right, above all else. It is the least we can do.”

There was silence before Karkat turned back to the screen, you yourself not daring to look. “I approve of it, and I will admire you from beyond, young Captor.”

“Thank you,” you say, taking a step back before gesturing for Feferi and Equius.

The two came over, Equius beginning to work. You stay, feeling the eyes of Feferi and Karkat on you as they stand by the monitor, a smile etching into the Ψiioniic’s face as he is released. You help lay what is left of the ruined troll’s body on a blanket Feferi thought to bring, kneeling by the troll’s side as he passed. You feel your shoulders shake before Karkat rests a hand on your shoulder, leading you away while Feferi says last rights over the Ψiioniic, helping Equius take him somewhere else.

“Hey, tell me more about your dreams.” Karkat says as you to walk, Karkat having gotten lost.

You frown, glancing at him in confusion before you remember. “Oh, of the human world?” You ask.

“No, of shithole that is space.” Karkat snaps before clearing his throat. “Yes, of the human world. What’s it like?”

“Warm, sunny,” you pause, trying to think of the words to describe it. “Fun, I like it. You’re there, Gamzee’s there. Even the humans that we talked to before are there.”

“Seeing anyone there?” Karkat asks and you catch the faintest hint of a blush.

“I’m in a couple of relationships,” you say as you head back to your respiteblock, thinking about what to tell your moirail. “It’s human romance though, are you sure you’re interested in hearing it?”

“I want to hear all about it.” Karkat says with a nod, growing more and more interested in the idea. “I want to hear everything about it.” He decides.

“You want to take my mind off what just happened,” you realize, not angry in the slightest.

 

“That too,” he admits. “Thanks, by the way, for waiting for me.”

“I would have been sulking if we done it before, without someone to talk me out of it.” You say, taking your moirail’s hand, ready for another several hour long session before shit gets started for tomorrow night, not wanting to forget anything you have seen recently. You are happy to live in the now, wondering what plans Feferi wanted to set in motion for tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you confuse yourself and your partner.
> 
> Also rewrote chapters 9, 10, and 11 so they're not super dramtic and cringy to read. I at least hope so,. I like the rewrites better. Sorry, will also slow down posting and start editing before hand starting now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of information on how things are remembered. This technically follows two different and completely intertwined time lines.
> 
> Sollux remembers his dreams troll side. He was a human first, died, became a troll. Has dreams being a human.
> 
> Karkat remembers his dreams human side. He was a troll first, died, became a human. Has dreams being a troll.
> 
> Two separated time lines, happening at the same exact time, from different points of view.
> 
> The others qill follow the same pattern if/when they are brought up.
> 
> Human than troll  
> Troll than human

You stare at the ceiling of the hotel room, feeling your thoughts crowd for attention in your mind before you squirm out of the bed, leaving Gamzee and Sollux still sleeping. You rub your head, ducking into the bathroom to shower before the other two woke up.

You wash your hair, taking in the dream fully. The troll, being laid peacefully on the blanket. His descendent pressed against your shoulder before you led him off. Being told dreams of this place. You shut off the water and grab a towel, walking into the hotel room and pulling on clean clothes. Gamzee was sitting in a chair, pipe in hand. Sollux was staring at his phone, still laying on the bed.

You sit on the bed, flopping down on Sollux before rolling to stare at the ceiling. “We need to be leaving soon,” you say after a minute.

“I’m gonna catch a shower beforehand,” Gamzee says, putting his pipe away and shuffling to the bathroom.

“You got that look on your face,” Sollux says, poking you in the shoulder. “What’s up KK?”

“I had the entirety of yesterday described to me in a dream, from your perspective.” You say finally, listening to the water.

“From my perspective?” Sollux asks, sitting up and pushing you off of him. “Do tell,”

“Yes, from your perspective.” You roll your eyes, sitting up and looking at Sollux. “The troll in my dreams that also calls himself Sollux Captor dreams of this place.” You pat the bed and think about it. “I was upset about killing someone in the dream, so I dragged us to an amusement park. You later sat there for hours telling me about every godforsaken ride in Knott’s Berry. But from your perspective.”

“Oh, and what did I...my troll….self have to say about it?” Sollux asks, raising an eyebrow. “KK, are you sure your subconscious hasn’t cracked from stress?”

“I...said almost the same exact thing to you on the ship.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Sollux says, shaking his head.

“When you wake up tomorrow night as a troll, tell me…” You pause, trying to think of something that would strike you as odd in that world. “You find my roommate absolutely hideous.”

“I mean, his living habits can be disgusting, but I don’t find him absolutely hideous. He is also your boyfriend.” Sollux says, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m trying to prove to myself something, can you just say it?” You ask.

“You’ll only remember asking me to say it, so I’ll tell it you in your dream KK, and then you’ll remember it when you wake up because you told me it in the first place. It’s your subconscious.” Sollux rubs his temples, trying to think of another solution. “Fine, I’ll say something that only I would think to say so I know it’s just not you projecting your own thoughts on me, okay?” He says. “And no, I won’t tell you what it is!”

“Geez, I won’t ask what string of bullshit you will feed me while I sleep.” You say, glancing when his phone went off.

Sollux picked it up quickly, reading the message before groaning. “You sent Strider the pictures of us at the amusement park?”

“Of course I did!” You say with a sniff. “Dave texted me at some point, wanted to know why you didn’t answer your phone… Well, I told him I told you to leave it at the hotel and he went, ‘why are you at a hotel?’ and so I told him we weren’t actually a hotel, that we were at an amusement park and he got all huffy, saying how you never have fun with him. That got me into a ‘Sollux Captor doesn’t know fun if he tried” and how I brought you out here cause he ditched you. He commented that he didn’t mean to, but his sister’s girlfriend was particular in the type of restaurant she was meeting Dave at for the first time, so he couldn’t just ask if he could bring another person because she and Rose were the ones paying and-- HEY! Are you even listening to me?” You ask, cheeks puffed out as Sollux looks up from his phone.

“No, he’s sending me the pictures you sent him.” Sollux grins, turning the phone to show you. “I’m surprised you sent him the better looking ones.”

“Of course I did you dipshit. I wouldn’t think you would make me look bad to my other partner, not that I don’t live with Gamzee. But, fuck, you know what I mean. I think you look absolutely adorable in all of those pictures by the way. I only sent him the best. Besides-”

You get cut off as Sollux kisses you, Gamzee letting out a low whistle when he walks into the room with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, can a motherfucker join in on the kissing?” He asks, having already changed in the bathroom. You pull him closer, one arm wrapped around his neck while Sollux shuffles away to give you both room.

You lean up to kiss Gamzee, hearing Sollux’s phone camera go off. You flip him off before Gamzee pulls away, offering Sollux a grin.

“Fuck,” you say, glancing at the time. “We need to check out and head back to town.”

“Jeez,” Sollux says, getting up to grab his spare clothing off the floor, answering the phone when it rang. “Hey Dave, you feel bad for ditching me yet?”

You raise an eyebrow as he sets the phone on speaker, moving around the room to finish packing while Gamzee finished getting dressed.

“I had the worst first meeting with my sis’s girlfriend. This lady is high class. Rose invites me to go to dinner, doesn’t tell me how to dress. I should have worn a fucking suit to the place we go, right?” Dave says and you roll your eyes, having heard about it over text the day before.

“What’s the girlfriend’s name again?” You ask, a grin on your face.

“Kanaya-Karkat? Are you all still in the hotel together? What, did I interrupt sloppy make outs or something? Damn it, I wouldn’t have called-” Dave started.

“No Strider, we’re getting ready to leave. I’m making sure these losers don’t leave anything behind that they might regret later.” Sollux says. “I need both my hands to do that.”

“You made that sound worse then it should have been.” Dave responds, groaning. “Anyway, Kanaya is super fancy. Wears a fucking evening gown, so did Rose for the record Vantas. I show up and a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and I can just read the embarrassment over Rose’s face. But Kanaya, she just goes with it. No hardship about the whole thing. Speaks like fucking royalty from the Britain era. All manners, except, get this, really likes vampires and had her teeth fucking molded into vampire fangs.”

“Heh, your sister must have fun with those things.” Sollux snickers.

“Bro, you did not just… Gross, the image that. Eww, why did you have to go there?” Dave asks and you can hear just how flustered he’s getting. “Ah fuck, she did have a bunch of… Thanks Sollux, fucking brilliant, my sister is in love with a person who’s kink is fucking vampires. Gross,”

“Well, it’s nice of you to call. We’ll be back in town in about eight hours. You’re welcome to make your way to dinner, or we can all go out. It’s been a while, but we really gotta go. Come over for dinner, don’t be a stranger. I’m sure we bite less than Rose’s new girlfriend.” You snicker, hanging up on Dave as Sollux bursts out laughing.

“I think I’ve met her before,” you say, mind flashing to the troll with the same name before recalling a girl in high school. “Sounds like this one chick in high school, remember her Gamzee?”

“Yeah, she was always sewing clothes,” Gamzee says, nodding in agreement. Sollux grabs his phone, putting it in his pocket.

“You go check us out Karkat, I’ll make sure Gamzee gets in the car and not on top of it, and that we have everything.” He starts another sweep of the room and you head out, going to the reception desk in the front room.

“Did you enjoy your stay?” The boy at the desk, the same one from when you checked in, asks, looking up from his magazine.

“Yes, it was good, thanks for asking Ampora.” You say, putting the keys on the desk. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure?” He frowns.

“You look like someone I used to know. Do you ever have dreams of another life?” You ask, glancing over when you see Sollux pull up the car.

“It depends on wwhat you mean,” he says after a moment.

“A race called trolls, lives on a planet called Alternia. Most of the adults go up to space?” You ask.

“Sounds familiar, yeah.” He says, cautious as he glances over your shoulder and sees Sollux and Gamzee. “Kar, wwhy bother bringin’ it up?”

“No reason,” you say, turning to leave the room.

“Fuck,” you hear him say but you leave the building before he can follow it up with another question. You sure as hell never met an Eridan Ampora on earth and when you pull out your phone, sitting in the front with Sollux so you can take over driving when he gets too tired, you find the link Sollux had sent you earlier that weekend, a thought nagging in the back of your mind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewrote chapters nine, ten, and eleven over the weekend and they make so much more sense now.
> 
> Sorry about that, enjoy!

You wake alone in your respiteblock, trying to recall if Karkat had come in last night after he got a tour of the ship. It had seemed more important at the time and you had brushed Feferi off, promising that the Empress's meeting would not be put on hold for another day.

You settle down in the sopor for a moment, thoughts of the dreams coming back to you in pieces. You lay there for another five minutes before you get out, moving through the motions of getting changed before turning to your computer and pulling up an encrypted file.

Since you were young, you kept a record of your dreams, wanting the most to see how it played out. You finish adding to the dream journal, several lines coming to stand out more than you would have thought. You hover over them before saving the new additions, scrambling to finish changing.

You head down the hall once you finish getting dressed, probably in what would have been record time for you. Usually you were the last one to get up. But now, with the dream nagging at the edge of your think pan.

You breeze past Eridan as you search for the troll you were seeking. You breeze past Eridan, the troll commenting something you couldn't quite care to catch. You flip him off in return, hurrying down another corridor before stopping. You catch sight of the troll you are looking for, running a hand through your hair before approaching her.

"AA!" You call, your breath still not quite all back from the run. You curse, taking in another breath to steady your nerves. "Can you stop for a moment? I have a question for you,"

"Hi Sollux, where's the fire?" She asks, her eyes bright as she turns to you. She smiles, pushing hair out of her face.

You swallow, straightening. At one point, you two had considered a flushed quadrant, but you and she both had decided it was better off as friends, thought it still hurt you to think about at times. "I..uhm, well..." You swallow again, remembering how easy it had been when you were still young and dumb. "You remember the dreams we used to talk about? The ones where we were humans?" You ask, feeling stupid.

She pulls you to the side as several of the ship trolls walk past, one of the blueblood mechanics giving both of you a sneer. You flip them off as they pass, not wanting to deal with the low blood comments that early.

"What is it Sollux?" She asks, voice calm. "We decided to not talk about the dreams, it was too dangerous, remember?"

"Yes, well, I am still having those dreams." You say, feeling dumb. Of course you had stopped talking about it. You didn't want to run the risk of anything sticking out for you to be culled when you were five sweeps old.

"Yes, I am as well. I do not figure they would have stopped for either of us. What about them Sollux?" Aradia asks, gaze boring into you.

"When I was dreaming, my...boyfriend in that world. He told me his dreams of this place." You say, gesturing helplessly. "It was Karkat, I think I told you I found him there?"

"No, you never did." Aradia mused. "I am glad you found him. But are you sure he told you about here? You are not simply remembering about your life here while you are there?"

"No, I'm not." You say, glancing down to where Aradia was still holding your wrist from pulling you aside. She drops it, placing her hands behind her back when she sees you looking. "Do you think there are others that remember?" You ask. "Remember being human before..."

"Before dying there?" Aradia finishes, voice gentle. "It's possible." She says finally. "I don't think I ever recall remembering my life here while I'm there. Perhaps if you were to reach out to me again there?"

"Well, that's the thing. I won't remember to message you when I dream." You grumble, pressing the palms of your hands into your eyes. "Maybe..."

"Maybe?" Aradia asks.

"Maybe I can get a message through to myself." You say finally, staring through your fingers. "See, KK does remember his troll dreams. But here, he's never mentioned anything like that to me."

"Perhaps for some of us, it only works one way, and for some, it works the other way." She offers.

"Do you think it would be worth it to see if the others have this same thing happen to them?" You ask. "KK in the human world, he gave me his perspective here. I just...what if the dreams mean something AA?"

Aradia frowns, resting her hand on her chin. "I thought it had to do with our connection to the dead and soon to be buying, but I can look into it. We should begin talking in the human world again. I'm in the hospital currently."

"Shit AA, what happened?" You ask, blinking at her in surprise.

She grins, her eyes sparkling. "I started an archaeological dig and ended up getting hurt. I should be out tomorrow, but they had to make sure I was okay after being trapped underground for nearly two days."

"Jeez, I'm glad we keep each other up to date." You say.

"And what have you been doing?" She asks.

"Ugh, just ask me when I message you." You decide. "I have to find KK."

"How are you going to remember me to message you?" Aradia asks.

"I'll get Karkat to tell me," you decide, pulling out of the small hallway and turning towards the main dining room. "I'll get a question about it later, but it'll work out. See you later AA,"

"Bye Sollux," Aradia says, watching you leave before carrying on her own way. You move slower through the halls, trying to form a plan. You aren't sure how you would get a message to yourself but... You hear Karkat before you enter the room, rolling your eyes as you nod at Feferi.

"-Understand, we come in and there's this group of frightened trolls, should totally be ship side. Right after you took over and one looks just about to piss himself when Gamzee gives them his creepy smile and I say, 'Hey, get your rusted thinkpans out of the fucking gutter and understand that Her Imperial fishass has been fried,' and they stare at us. Gamzee honks and one goes, 'you mean Her Imperial Condesce has actually been culled?'. I just laugh and nod and the one guy does piss himself-"

"Geez, got anything better to do than tell terrible tales?" You ask, walking in and offering Feferi a nod. "Hey, KK, remember something for me."

"Ugh, why do I have to be your extra thinkpan storage? Don't you have enough shit to remember?" Karkat asks, rolling his eyes as Gamzee laughs.

"When you wake up, tell me to contact the dying girl." You press, staring at Karkat.

"Uh, the dying girl?" Karkat repeats, staring at you like you're insane. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll understand it," you say with a wave of your hand. "And if I don't, then it doesn't actually mean anything, right?"

"Sollux, are you overworking yourself again?" Feferi asks, flaring out her gills. "You aren't making glubbing sense."

"No, I've not been overworking. Sorry for interrupting your debriefing." You say with a roll of your eyes. "Maybe been under working. What's on the table for today? I know there's a debriefing at midnight with all of us."

“I’m having Karcrab and Gamzee meet the rest of the ship today. Equius said he needed to talk to you regarding some modifications to the helmet you two were working on? The ship is drifting aimlessly at the moment. We have another half a sweep before I want to land. I would like everything to be in order by then. Not every troll will be grounded, some will stay in space.” Feferi says, more for Karkat’s and Gamzee’s benefit than yours. "Erifin will be put in charge of the armies."

"Really, the fish guy?" Karkat asks, rolling his eyes.

"We'll need a ground military in case there are still trolls that are loyal to the past empress. They may actually fucking revolt at the idea of us not expanding the borders." You say. "Eridan has a...once in a lifetime tactical brilliance gift that I have no fucking clue how he ended up." You say, walking towards the door. "He'll be as puffed as a puffer fish after that promotion though. Not to mention our age. We have everything going against us other than Feferi actually beat the previous empress."

"I know that!" Karkat snaps.

"I know we're young, but we need to have a strong hand in everyfin," Feferi says with a small sigh. "I trust Eridan to keep a hand on the military. We won't die. He, and all of us, will make sure of it. But he is the best troll for the job."

“Right, I’m off to find EQ then. I can't stand you saying such nice things about my kismesis.” You say and leave the area, moving more slowly through the hallways now and going to the room where your ancestor had been. You duck through a side door, coming around so the blueblood working could see you. You had no intention of actually startling Equius and having him ruin the project.

“Hey Sollux,” Nepeta said, glancing up from her tablet. "I think he's almost ready for you,"

“Hey NP,” you say, taking a seat next to her and glancing over her shoulder. “Shipping wall?” You ask.

“Yep,” she lets out a small laugh, saving and closing the drawing she worked on before turning her attention to Equius when he asked for a tool. She passed it over, sitting back down.

“Captor, I would like to check the size of the helmet compared to your head. Care to try it on?” Equius asks, glancing up from his work.

You nod, sitting down in the chair and letting Equius fit the helmet on you. Last time you had run the tests, it had knocked you out for nearly a week. You feel entrapped in the helmet, but it was already a step up from the last time. You could still see. It fit perfectly, your horns coming up and out of the holes added.

"Want to run a test?" You ask, relaxing.

Equius nods and fiddles with a small remote, meeting your gaze. "Are you sure you do not want to wait?" He asks. "Perhaps you can get your moirail in here to comfort you."

"No, I'll be fine," you say with a roll of your eyes, relaxing as the helmet flipped on. You feel the surge of energy run through you, your vision dimming. You were going to wake up with one massive migraine in the morning. That's your last thought before you start to fade. You feel the helmet be tugged off, and fingers snapping in your face. You hold up a hand, offering a nod before you close your eyes. Still better than becoming a part of the ship.

You sit there for several more minutes before getting up and walking over to Nepeta, Equius making several more adjustments. You eat the food handed to you, deciding to stay in there for a while yet, almost wishing that your ancestor was around to see the progress you were making. You swallow, closing your eyes and letting yourself drift into sleep despite being outside your 'coon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee has a tendency to break the pattern of remembering dreams.

You wake up too early in the morning, struggling to get off the bed. you can feel the start of a killer migraine already starting. You look around the apartment, groaning. You had gotten to Karkat's apartment and passed out on his bed, apparent by the lack of actual clothes and just boxes that you were wearing.

You get off the bed, Karkat still sleeping and nearly trip over Gamzee, who is staring at the ceiling and blowing smoke rings. You take one sniff of the air, realizing he would be high before you slouch over to the window, yanking it open and nearly falling on Karkat.

"Hey, piece of shit, stop smoking in the apartment." You say, climbing back over the bed and Gamzee to get into the small studio kitchen.

"Hey bro, ain't you flipside?" Gamzee asks, turning his eyes on you. He waves his hand through a smoke ring, sitting up completely.

You frown, scratching your head as you attempt to navigate the shit that was on the floor in the semi dark, the window letting in some light. "I'm sorry, repeat?" You ask, glancing at him.

"I'm in space currently, with Fishsis and Karbro," Gamzee grins. "You up and were with Equius?" He asks.

"You're stoned shitless," you says but store the knowledge away. Maybe it would make sense when your head isn't pounding in attempt to make its grand escape from your skull.

You find a clean glass in the cabinet, a nearly impossible feat in and of itself. You set it down, grabbing the filtered water from the fridge and pouring yourself some, putting it back in the fridge. You make your way into the closet/bathroom area, shutting the door and riffling through the medication cabinet, finding the migraine pills and taking some before putting the bottle away.

You go back into the kitchen, getting yourself more water. It had been a while since you woke up with such a bad migraine. You find Gamzee putting away his weed, and you walk out the door, knowing it should be too early for anyone to care you're only wearing boxers.

The cool morning air greets you as you lean against the railing of the stairwell outside the apartment. You don't care about your state of dress as you pat at your boxer pocket, pulling out your phone in amazement. You had added the pocket yourself several months ago, finding it inconvenient when you didn't have pockets. You pick the last called number and let it ring, closing your eyes.

“Strider, how can I assist?”

“Hey Dave,” you say, slumping over the railing.

“You sound like shit. Were you drinking last night?” Dave asks and you can almost picture him cocking an eyebrow from underneath those shades of his.

“Woke up with a head splitting headache.” You reply, rolling your eyes. “Wish I was drinking instead. All of the hangover, none of the fun.”

“Well, if you want to get drunk… Where are you even?” Dave asks, sounding amused.

“KK’s,” you shrug. “We got back pretty late last night and I sorta just passed out. So, wanna tell me more about Rose’s vampire girlfriend?”

“God, she is a high class lady. Never thought Rose would fall for one.” Dave chuckles. "You wouldn't believe what she is like. All fancy and matching phrase for phrase what Rose was saying. It was horrendous to sit through. They wanted me to come out again tonight."

"What's her name?" You ask.

"Kanaya Maryam," Dave says and you can imagine the eyeroll he would have given. "Even her name sounds like some stuck up-"

You yelped as you hear a door slam, moving to grab your phone, and cursing as you fumble and drop it. You hurry down the stairs, picking it up with a curse. "You still there?"

"Yeah, what the fuck happened?" Dave asked.

"Dropped my phone." You sigh. "It doesn't look like it's broken at all. Between my brain being scrambled and KK's shitty neighbors, I dropped this piece of shit. Migraines are the fucking worst Strider,"

"Yeah, you're tired enough to start lisping." Dave says with a chuckle and you feel yourself blush. "Would you like me to come get you?"

"Nah, I may actually try to go back to sleep. I was....it felt like my head was trying to explode when I woke up." You say, struggling to figure out how to explain it. "Are we going to do dinner tonight? I do have work I need to get to sometime this week. KK wouldn't let me bring my computer to Cali."

"Shit, yeah." Dave says and you hear the background music stop. "I really am sorry about the whole dinner thing. But it looks like you had a lot of fun with Karkat and the clown,"

"Yeah, it was nice to see KK happy. It's been a while. I don't think he's actually been sleeping as well as he claims he has been." You say, climbing back up the stairs and rubbing your temples. You want the pounding in your head to stop.

"Have you been sleeping well?" Dave shot back. "It's like five in the morning."

"No," you admit. "Something that's nagging at the back of my mind..."

"Like waking up to exploding pain in your head?" Dave asks and you can hear the frown. "Hey, I'm worried about you Sollux. I don't know if those headaches are common for you, but they aren't common for like, ninety percent of the population. Do you think you should go talk to a doctor or something?"

"I don't know," you sigh. "I'll see how I feel about it in the tomorrow? I'm hoping it'll go away shortly. I already took something for it too."

"Will you let me know? And, if you feel like you can't do dinner, please let me know?" Dave asks.

"I'm not going to cancel on you dumbass," Sollux says, rolling his eyes. "I'll be there. I'm...going to either get a second hand high off Gamzee, cause he's fucking smoking in the middle of the floor, or stare at a ceiling for the next couple of hours until Karkat gets his lazy butt out of bed. Why are you up this early? Have you even gone to bed?"

"Working on a couple of songs," Dave admitted. "Was going to head to bed shortly. Catch a couple hours, get back to work..."

"Makes sense. Talk to you later then?" You ask, absolutely hating how much you were lisping at the moment.

"Yeah, see you in the afternoon bumblebee," Dave says with a chuckle.

"Dick," you mutter, walking back into the apartment. You glance around and see Gamzee, who had gone back to laying on the floor after putting away his stuff. You walk to the kitchen area, grabbing more water. You drain another cup full, placing the dish to the side of the sink before heading back to the bed, kicking stuff out of the way and being careful of Gamzee.

You glance at the sleeping kid next to you, resting a hand on his shoulder and leaning over to kiss his cheek before settling to stare at the ceiling until someone else woke up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting to the fun bits of more character views! 100% different from the previous chapter eleven, I promise.

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are working on a plan to keep the military functioning after your moirail grounds the fleet. You run a hand through your hair, shaking your head slowly. It had been a long couple of nights when Feferi gave you this task.

You frown at several of the notes that the previous general, who you had culled when fighting on the ship, had written. You tap your claw at the numbers, glancing up when you heard someone knock at the block door. "Come in," you say, adjusting your glasses and pushing away from the desk. Paper is scattered everywhere and you curse the previous general's love for the written notes. His hand cramped and his quirk nearly impossible to read when it got too small.

"Eridaaaaaaaan! There you are!"

You groan when you here Vriska's voice. You can already feel the pounding in your thinkpan start to grow worse as you look at her. "I'm in the middle a somethin', wwhat do you wwant?"

"Feferi's waiting for you. We have the meeting at midnight." Vriska says and you glance at the husktop time, realizing it was past midnight. You get up and put the papers on the desk, walking towards the door. Vriska stops, glancing at the papers curiously. "You're actually doing your job?" She asks.

"Yes Vris, I am doing my job." You snap, annoyed with the troll. "It's not like I havve the time to be messin' around because I'm not doing anythin'," you say, gesturing for her to leave the block.

You make sure she leaves before you do, locking the block door so no one else could mess with it. Three nights ago, you found another violet blood in there, trying to get documents out. You killed the seadweller on sight, then reported to Feferi. Since then, you've been either staying in the room or keeping it locked after Equius changed the locks for you.

You follow Vriksa to the meeting room, taking your seat as Feferi glances up. "Sorry for bein' late," you say.

"It's okay Eridan, what you're doing is important." Feferi says and you can tell how much stress she has been in, having dropped fish puns for the past week or so. You frown, wanting to comment but deciding to not bring it up and delay the meeting any later than it was.

Sollux is slumped on the table, his head on it and Karkat next to him, patting his back in worry. Aradia had a stack of papers, Nepeta and Equius looking over drawings of something. Tavros and Kanaya are discussing something that you couldn't quite make out, Terezi standing at the head of the table with Feferi. Gamzee is leaning back in a chair, watching the ceiling and Vriska sits next to him, poking him before he sets the chair down.

"Everyone here?" Terezi asks, her chuckle making you roll your eyes. It almost made you cringe and from the way Sollux looks up, you can appreciate the wince of pain he gives off.

"Yes, we're here," Vriska says with a roll of her eyes. "I had to drag Eridan away from the papers, he was trying to make love to them or something."

"I wwas not," you sniff, pulling out your own notes so you could remember to go over them.

"Let's start with you then," Terezi grins. "What has your hours of search through dusty, dull papers found out Ampora?"

"There are five hundred fleet ships currently missin'," you say, turning your gaze on Feferi. "With, estimated four to five hundred trolls on each ship."

"Any idea on where they might be?" Feferi asks, a frown pulling at her lips.

You rub your temples, careful to not hurt yourself with your claws. Too many mistakes while you were tired had caused you to scratch yourself up in the last couple of weeks. Something that others were all too happy to point out to you. "Search and destroy missions. Too far for us to contact and demand they come back in for the moment. They don't evven knoww that the changeovver happened. I was getting into the documents that the vviolet blood tried takin' from the block three days ago."

"What would be the point of hiding the information from us?" Feferi frowns, sitting down at the head of the table. "I don't..."

"I don't know either," you say, shaking your head. "Other than another swweadwweller gettin' the idea that they could cull you so soon and take over themself. Any high blood might havve that idea." You frown at the thought as well, hearing Gamzee clear his throat.

"Some of those ships be having subjugglators on them?" He asks, seeming more engaged in the the conversation than you had seen him in a while.

"That would explain the lack of purple bloods everywhere else we've been." Terezi frowns, glancing at Gamzee. "With your weird cult, what can we expect if we do find ships full of you all?"

"You can be expecting nothing," Gamzee decides, flicking something off his claw. "Because they all be needing a new motherfucking high grand blood."

"Are you sure you're up to the task?" Kanaya asks, voice even. "I would hate to...lose you because you decided that you could take on the current subjugglator leader."

"Sister, we all have our motherfucking place," Gamzee says, leaning across the table and looking Kanaya in the eyes, unflinching as the other troll narrowed her eyes. "I motherfucking know where my feet will take me. I did my motherfucking research planetside. The subjugglators are gonna need some motherfucking upheaving in order to get them back on straight." He let out a soft honk, a tingle of fear running down your spine. You sit back in your seat, keeping an eye on Gamzee.

He leans back in his own, gaze deadset behind the paint. Karkat rolls his eyes, clearing his throat. "Setting the dumbass clown aside for a moment, or several fucking sweeps. That is the dumbest thing you could do Gamzee. You're going to do what? Summon five hundred missing ships and challenge whatever pompous shit talking indigo troll sat themself down in the seat of the grand highblood?" He demands. "How do you plan on getting that plan off the ground?"

"It's his place as descendent from the past Grand High Blood," Equius says, clearing his throat. "It is respectful that he is choosing now to pick up his blood right."

"Peace Karbro," Gamzee says with a grin. "This wicked brother ain't gonna let anyone up and kill him. I think taking my blood right will be a motherfucking joyous miracle."

"I'll figure out what number of the ships are the subjugglators." You say, clearing your throat to get Feferi's attention once more.

"Ugh, all of your arguing is making my head hurt worse," Sollux says, picking up his head once more. "Hey, FF, the helmet works, gives trolls major fucking headaches. Can I be excused?"

"It was much easier to arrange these meetings when there was only ten of us." Feferi glubbed, glancing around. "Not that twelve makes more of a different. "Anyone else have updates?" She asks.

"Work on the helmet is nearly complete," Equius confirms. "We are tweaking now so when there is a draw, the troll in question does not have a headache by the end. Unsure if the headache will go away once the troll gets used to the helmet or not."

"I got nothing," Vriska says with a shrug. "Mostly working on writing everything that happened down. Maybe I'll show you all one day," she grins.

"I have been working with the law to finish patching things up. It's more exciting then I thought it would be." Terezi grins, her cane tapping against the floor next to Feferi. "Revising laws is so much better than boring old paperwork."

"Hey, doesn't it also invvolvve paperwwork?" You ask, rolling your eyes.

"The work in the brooding caverns has been continuing. I have been in contact with the head jadeblood that runs them." Kanaya responds. "I have informed her known that any mutant or sickly grubs, per the new empress's explicit orders, must be taken care of. There was some...complaining, but she is doing as per your orders Feferi. I have also finished your new wardrobe. It would be wise to consult with me regarding the matter of clothes before your first official interview tomorrow night."

"Oh glub, thanks for reminding me about that," Feferi says with a nod, having a feeling missing the interview would have been bad.

"Not a problem," Kanaya responds with a nod.

"The supplies are still good on the ship. We could stay up here for another two sweeps and never had to land." Tavros says, clearing his throat. "It, uh... Might be wise to take into consideration power source though."

"Of course, thank you." Feferi says. "I have passed word to the ships under our control that when they ground, the poor helmsmen will no longer be in use." She frowns, glancing around at the trolls.

"Ugh, I already gave you my report." Sollux grumbles.

"While we have taken over, the dead still clammor for the blood of the Condesce." Aradia says with a smile. "They do seem pleased that those that were in the wrong have been culled though. We are making great time with your plan Feferi, everything is ahead of schedule. I have dug up many things with the help of the dead as well. It seems like many trolls were hiding secrets here."

"Thank you," Feferi says, seeming lost in thought. "You are dismissed, thank you for the status update. Eridan, will you stay for a moment?"

"Of course," you say, staying in your seat as the others filter out. Sollux cast a glance backwards into the room before he leaves, looking like he was ready to sleep for the next sweep or so. You cast a worried glance after him, wondering if the helmet was a good idea. "Wwhat's up Fef?" He asks.

"I feel like this is going too easy." She says, dropping into a chair. "Karkrab had a lot of issues planetside. We had a fair amount up here too..."

"But it seems too peaceful?" You guess, glancing over your shoulder to make sure you were still alone. You press your hand to Fefer's shoulder, worried. "Havve you been gettin' sleep lately?"

"No, I keep having..." She lets out a soft glub, shaking her head. "Daymares I guess. I'm sure I have slept some, but not the extent that I should be."

"Anyfin I can do to kelp?" You ask, in hopes of putting a smile on her face.

She offers you are small but tired smile and you relax, even just a bit. "Just keep me updated on what you find. Are you okay with the position?" She asks.

"Yeah, I lovve it Fef," you say with a smile. "It's fascinatin' and I alwways enjoyed the military history." You tap one of your horns in thought, glancing up at her. "You could havve looked the other wway."

"And be krilled?" She frowns, shaking her head after a moment. "I couldn't have! I have so many trolls to kelp! So much of the empire is beyond our planet Eridan. We finally get to do something grand for our people!" She grabs your hands and smiles so brightly and you want to protect her.

You nod, leaning back and relaxing. "Just make sure you get sleep, okay? Can't do for ya to collapse durin’that intervvieww."

She chuckles as you say the word 'interview' and you roll your eyes. You get up from your seat, walking over and offering her a hug, wishing you could wrap her up and protect her. You pull away, meeting her gaze. "We walk together," she says.

"Wwe wwalk together," you repeat and let her go. "I havve to go back to lookin' ovver the records. The previous general lovved to handwwrite evveryfin and his quirk is near impossible to decipher at points. If I wwant this done wwithin the next fivve swweeps, I gotta start noww."

"Okay,come see me at daybreak?" Feferi asks.

"Yes your highness," you say with a sweeping bow, listening to Feferi giggle before you head out of the meeting room and back to the cramped block, almost wishing Sollux was up for a fight as you plop down in your chair after unlocking the door. You turn to the papers, pulling out the keyboard of the husktop so you can start translating the notes to the computer, several hundred already done, of which twenty percent had to have been letters between the general and his quadrant mates just jammed in the middle of important documents.

It was going to be a long night, but you set an alarm on your palmhusk so you could meet Feferi at daybreak.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start doing multiple POVs in the chapters get get the story flowing. I may also break up the human/troll/human/troll/ect pattern as need be.
> 
> Yep, chapters are gonna get longer from here on out. Multiple POVs.
> 
> If any of you have any thoughts, please comment on your thoughts of the story thus far?

Your name is Feferi Peixes and you have a headache that won't subside. You roll over to see your phone flashing, picking it up and opening the message.

Eridan: Hey Fef, when you wake up, dad wants to know if you're staying over for semester break.

You frown at the message before sitting up, looking around your dorm. For the past three years, you have been shifting between college dorms and your adoptive father's house. With the end of semester, you didn't have to stay at the college, not that you really wanted to anyway, but you almost didn't want to leave. It was a comfort to live by yourself.

You sit up with a sigh, calling the number instead of texting back. You are surprised when Eridan answers, though it sounds like he's still asleep.

"Good morning!" You say, your voice chipper as you get out of bed, finding a brush to start on your hair. "Tell dad I'll be home in the afternoon, just need to gather some stuff!"

"Did you havve to call me Fef?" Eridan grumbles.

"Of course silly fish," you say and you do mean it. "I'm glad dad still lets me come around."

"Aww, come on Fef, you knoww he wwouldn't kick you out just cause-" Eridan clears his throat, sounding more awake now.

"They found her dead two weeks ago," you say suddenly. "I was going to tell him when I got back... Promise me you won't say anything?" You ask.

"I wwon't. Fuck Fef, wwhy didn't you tell me?" Eridan asks and you shrug, even though he couldn't see it.

"I was going to but... I just didn't get the glubbing chance with fin-als!" You say, offering him a small laugh. "Got so wrapped up in the exams that I pushed it aside."

"You're gradutin' next semester?" Eridan asks.

"Yep! Then I'll have enough money to move out on my own." You pause, already packing a bag with clothes. The rest of your stuff would stay over the semester break, a long standing tradition you have set up with the college. You clear your throat, finishing the packing. "Anyway, tell dad I'll be there this afternoon! Talk to you soon,"

"Sea ya later Fef," Eridan says and you hang up, grabbing your charger and your ipad. You hesitate before snatching up your diary as well, heading out of the dorm and going to your car.

You and Eridan are step siblings, your mother and his father having gotten married five years ago. You and Eridan had been long time friends and you were excited when you became siblings. Two years after your parents got married, your mother skipped town and left you behind.

You had enough money to finish college and live on your own, but your step father insisted that you stay with him and Eridan during the breaks and you had agreed, having considered him your parent more than your mother had ever been.

It's a four hour drive to home from the college campus and as you pull up to the driveway, you can hear the sounds of the ocean, now only a ten minute walk from the house. You grin as you grab your bag of stuff and head up the short steps, opening the door and slipping inside.

You walk through the small house to your room, setting down the bag and turning to listen from your bedroom door. From the sounds of things, Eridan had gone back to bed or at least not left his room and your step father is in the kitchen. You turn back to your stuff, finding a small envelope tucked into a side pocket of the bag and walking out of the room.

You had been living off and on with Eridan and Cronus since you were four, your mother sometimes unable to care for you. This had always been your place to retreat when things got too hard and you had been overjoyed when your mother and Cronus got married.

You think these things as you walk to the kitchen slowly, uncertain how to break the news to him. Two months ago, your mother had just disappeared. Cronus had been the first one to know and he had called you right away. You had been in the middle of preparing an essay and at the time thought it was just her usual antics and she would turn up later but then...she didn't.

"Hey dad!" You say, stopping by the entryway of the kitchen, watching him as he turns, a smile on his face.

"Hey Feferi, glad to see that you are able to join us," Cronus says, wiping his hands on his apron. "Howv wvas finals?" He asks, his accent wavering as he leans against the counter.

"They went swell!" You say, giggling as you walk over, pulling up a barstool so you could see what he was making. "Are you able to talk...?"

"Anything for you," he says, placing a bowl of batter between you and him. "If you don't mind me continuing to bake while we do so?"

"Of course not," you say with a nod of your head. You smile, sniffing the air of a well used kitchen. "Water you baking?" You lean forward, trying to get a taste of the batter.

Cronus moves the bowl out of reach, raising an eyebrow. "That's not wvhat you wvanted to discuss?" He asks, adding in the last needed ingredient.

"No," you say with a sigh, placing the envelope you had brought with you on the counter. Your shoulders sag and Cronus looks at you in worry, a frown on his face. "It's about mom... Her body washed up on shore two weeks ago. It seems like she swam out into the ocean and just...let herself drown out there."

Crons watches you, setting aside his bowl and walking over and hugging you. "It's okay swveetheart," he says softly. "You are alwvays wvelcome here,"

"I know," you say, taking a breath and feeling tears prick at your eyes. You return the hug, shaking your head after a moment. "There's somefin else. I had two letters show up two days before she was found... One where she addressed me, one for you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"You'vwe been busy," Cronus promises, pulling away and searching your face, eyes full of compassion as he watches you. "Do they....?"

"I had her cremated and scattered her ashes in the ocean," you say before he could finish the question. "It's what she would have wanted. Her heart and soul always belonged to the ocean."

"Did she mention anything else in your letter?" Cronus asked, almost hesitant.

You shake your head, frowning. "No, I also didn't read yours. I was tempted, to be honest, but uhm...here." She nudged it towards him, glancing towards the batter.

Cronus nods, taking the letter and tucking it into the back pocket of his pants. "It'll be okay," he says softly. "She lovwed you, just like she lovwed the ocean."

"I know the ocean would always win out." You stand up, placing the barstool back to its proper place. "I'm going to see if the old lazy fish is up yet." You give your stepfather a brief smile, walking out of the kitchen. You feel Cronus watch you before you hear a pan being pulled out, the oven hitting temperature and beeping to let him know.

You walk into Eridan's room without knocking, poking him in the side and listening to him groan. "Come on you silly fish, it's time to be up," you say while giving him another poke.

"Gods Fef, do ya know what time it is?" Eridan asks, pulling the blanket off his head and staring at her. "Oh, shit, did I fall back asleep?"

"Yes, now....you're not pushing yourself too hard for my sake on the ship, are you?" You ask, peering at him. He looks tired, and you remember your talk into the early morning. Neither of you would remember what you discussed while you were on Earth, but it had been a game between the two of you to discuss the life of Alternia while awake, ever since you first realized that was where you were both dreaming.

“I don’t think so?” Eridan frowns and you realize he’s probably still awake over there as well. You hug him, frowning.

“Just take it easier, okray?” You say.

He nods, propping himself up and leaning against the wall. The both of you begin to talk, Eridan taking notes while you relay what you remember from the other side, feeling the familiarity of the action ease the worry that you had been feeling for quite some time. It had been too long since you two had done this.

****

You pull a blanket over your face as light hits your eyes, groaning. It’s summer and you don’t want to get out of bed, but someone keeps poking you. There is still lingering traces of the migraine you woke up with, but it is no longer demanding your attention.

You pull the blanket off your head, shooting Karkat a glare. “You’re obnoxious,” you say, sitting up slowly.

“Good morning to you too asshole, I have a message for you.” Karkat says with a roll of his eyes.

“A message?” You frown, looking at him blankly. “Fuck, I have to meet with Dave…”

“Sup?” Dave asked, leaning over from his chair. “You were sleeping like Rapunzel all up in her tower, I couldn’t bare to just kiss you awake Captor,”

You pull the blanket back over your face, wishing you hadn’t woken up. Karkat tugs it away, rolling his eyes. “Damn it, you cannot hide.”

“Fine, I can’t hide.” You say, sitting up and glaring at Karkat. “I was finally getting some restful sleep.”

“Damn, and you were gonna miss our date to do it to?” Dave asks and you throw a pillow at him. You notice Gamzee is missing and the thought makes you feel more at ease. At least you didn’t have to deal with him as well.

“Fuck, what time is it?” You ask, blinking and looking between Karkat and Dave.

“Like...two in the afternoon?” Dave says, looking at his phone.

You groan but decide it would be easier to get dressed. You find your bag after you climb out of the bed, feeling eyes on you as you pull on clean clothes. “What?” You ask, irritable about having been woken after a dream of very little sleep. You turn to Karkat and Dave, watching them share a glance between them.

“Hey, you need to contact the dying girl.” Karkat says, sounding confused. “You told me that yesterday...last night? Fuck if I remember.”

“AA?” You frown at him, glancing at Dave.

“Wasn’t that the girl you dated off and on in high school?” Dave asked. “Didn’t you meet when you were a kid or something?”

“We met in the hospital when I thought I was dying, yeah.” You say. “It was like...when I was five or six. She was in the next room over. Fighting off some illness. We started passing notes back and forth via the nurses. After we were released from the hospital, we continued talking to each other. We joked that we didn’t die because fate knew they needed us or something like that. Who told you to tell me to contact her?” You forget that you’re in the process of putting on pants, staring at Karkat like he had grown a second head.

“You did,” Karkat shrugs, turning to go the fridge and find food. “I think you did? I’m pretty sure you did.”

“I feel like I missed something here.” Dave says, glancing between them. “Hey Sollux, you might actually want to put on pants if we’re going out for our dinner date.”

You curse before pulling on the pants all the way, feeling your face heat up. “I know,” you mutter, having been caught off guard. You pick up your phone from where you had plugged it in to charge, flicking through the contacts as you went to the bathroom.

You find the one that you are looking for and type out a short message as you start getting ready for the day, wondering what was going on in Karkat’s head.

_Hey AA, long time no talk._  
This sounds dumb.  
KK told me to message you.  
Called you the dying girl.  
Everything okay? 

You finish up in the bathroom, sliding the phone into your pocket and grabbing a shirt before walking into the other room, nodding at Dave. “I’m ready when you are.”

Dave glanced up from his own phone, his shades hiding his eyes. “You still sound like shit bro. Less than you did this morning at five in the morning, but still. Did the migraine go down at all?”

“Yeah, can’t even tell I had one.” You feel your phone buzz, pulling it out as you and Dave head downstairs, throwing a ‘see you later’ to Karkat over his shoulder, the shorter man just rolling his eyes and telling you and Dave to have fun.

_Hi Sollux!_  
Im fine, just got out of the hospital after a short stay actually.  
My fiance and I were exploring a cave tunnel when the whole thing just collapsed like paper. He was nearer the front end of the cave and managed to get out, got someone to rescue me…  
But I feel like this isn’t a social call. What can I do for you? 

You raise your eyebrow at the texts that she had sent you, Dave trying to read over your shoulder. “Didn’t she stop going to our school in like...middle school?” He asks you.

“Yeah, her health did not permit her to remain in school. However, she got better after a couple of years. Finished homeschooling and went on to be an archaeologist. Apparently her and her fiance were exploring a cave when it collapsed in on them.” You shake your head, letting out a chuckle.

_Glad to hear you and..his name was Tavros?  
Well, glad to hear youre both alright. Any clue on why my stubborn boyfriend would tell me to message you?_

Dave shrugs and heads to his car, unlocking it and getting in. You follow, buckling your seat belt and looking around the car. “So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Dave says, pulling out of the apartment complex. You glance down when your phone buzzes again, frowning at the message.

_No idea, but we should talk more often!_  
And yeah, Tavros is his name. Were getting married soon.  
I wanted to send you an invitation, but couldn’t get the address.  
You up for coming? 

You raise your eyebrow at the last message, Dave focused on driving.

_Sure, how many people can I bring?  
I have like, two boyfriends and KK has another partner._

You send the message, adjusting in the seat and glancing out the window in thought. You had lost track where Dave was driving and he had put on music, something you were more than happy to tune out for the moment.

_Bring all three of them!_

“Hey Dave, you wanna go to a wedding?” You ask when you receive the message, amused by the suggestion.

_Just give me the time, date, and location and I will be there with KK, DS, and Gamzee_

“A wedding? Who’s getting married?” Dave asks, taking a sharp turn he would have otherwise missed.

“AA and Tavros,” you say with a grin. “She invited me and said I could bring you, KK, and Gamzee when I asked if I could invite my partners.”

“Hell yeah,” Dave says, pulling up to a small restaurant you have never heard of and you relax, glad that life was moving again, instead of being the weird stagnation that had been the end of the semester and your job the last couple of months. A breath of fresh air.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eridan's ww and vv's got dropped by half way through.
> 
> I will not be imputting them throughout anymore, since I do a lot of writing at work and it slips my mind. But just know that it is implied.
> 
> It will be put down when in written text for quirks.
> 
> Being the Condesce must have been mighty lonely.
> 
> Chapters are hopefully getting longer, hope you all don't mind.

You always imagined the day that you would sit on the throne. Part of you said that you would never reach the goal, that the Condesce was unbeatable. But here you sat, on something as close to a throne that the head of the fleet had. You’re in the main meeting room, something that you hadn’t begun to hold meetings in. It had’t felt right and you can still picture the Condesce sitting there are you approached, splattered in blood, trident in hand.

She stood to meet you then, quiet. Not a word passed between you before the fight began. And then it had ended, as simple as that and a new color was added to your clothes, fuscia, not of your own. You look and realize your trident had impaled her neck. A lucky strike. And you pulled away, stabbing her in the heart to end it quicker.

And you feel so, so young.

You rest your trident in your lap, pulling your legs up under you until you’re sitting with both of them under you. Your trident is still in your lap and you are still alone, but you still imagine the sound of someone coming in. You can feel someone call up to you, challenging you.

You frown and glance around the room to find nothing, brushing hair out of your face. It must be from exhaustion. The little sleep that you do get doesn’t let you rest like you should. You move to stand from the throne, feeling trapped and remain sitting as emotions wash over you.

_It’s always lonely, sitting above all else. You cull and you cull in hopes of finding meaning as the sweep drag on and on. Do you know how long you will live up in, the space, never seeing the oceans again? Always alone… Everyone you ever meet, that you work to build with, will eventually die._

_They all left me. They will all leave you, one day, one sweep._

_You can remember the feel of the water lapping at your skin as you dive down, down, and further down still. But now you sit so high up, in the completely opposite direction. No meaning, nothingness swamping you. And you feel the tug to return, just once to the ocean and let yourself drift down to nothing, become nothing._

_You feel so alone, atop your empire of space. You felt the cold of water on your skin, when you were so very young. Now nothing you do fills the emptiness eating away at you until your descendant comes and kills you. But that will never happen, you made it too hard. Now you are enthroned in your loneliness._

_You know the day will come when an heiress may have the ability to cull you, to take you off your throne and send you off to wherever trolls go upon death. Maybe she’ll come with friends, like you did once upon a sweep. You did not want to go, but you would, one day. Even you couldn't live forever. So you sat, above it all. You watched your empire expand until you didn't even know the far reaching compass, the end points, only the starting point. And you killed each and every heiress that came your way. You are lonely, so lonely for an end that may never come..._

You bolt out of the throne, raising your trident as if you could skewer the memories that had come to you. You want to scream, you want to rage. You want to return to the ocean, to the depths below, to your lusus, and never come out again. But you do none of this as you look around the empty meeting room.

It's early in the evening, almost too early for even you to be up. But you couldn't have sat in your 'coon any longer if you tried. You had come here, to a room that you knew was important. To the room where she had ended, and your reign began You send a message to Eridan, telling him where you are and asking him to join you.

It takes nearly half an hour for him to come, but you had sent him in a complete and wild goose chase trying to find the room. Which was accessible by the main entry way of the ship, but you hadn't told him that. You pace around the throne before he arrives, turning to look at the exhausted seadweller and you conclude that you had woken him up.

"Hey Fef, wwhat's wwrong?" He asks, turning to look at you. He walks forward, resting a hand on your shoulder and pulling you into a tight hug when he sees how badly you're shaking.

"I felt her," you whisper, dropping your trident and turning to look at Eridan. "I felt what....what the Condesce felt."

"Wwhat do you mean?" Eridan asks, a frown pulling at the edge of his lips, his fins drooping to see you in such a state.

"Sweeps upon sweeps of loneliness is the only thing that will greet me. Thousands of sweeps, spanning so long all of you will die!" You're sobbing now, wailing. "I felt the pain she felt. She pushed the boundaries of an empire so far, she didn't know where it ended. Centuries, waiting for a descendent to be able to cull me Eridan, that is what I bring upon myself by accepting this glubbing crown!" And you wail, throwing your weight at Eridan, feeling your shoulders shake. "She had everything, and she had nothing at all."

"Fef," Eridan wraps an arm around you, supporting your weight and taking a deep breath. He hums a lullaby you haven't heard since your first memory of him calming you after a particularly bad night of hunting. It soothes you as you cry into Eridan's shoulder. You never wanted to be alone. You are nine sweeps old and you can't comprehend a time where your friends will be long gone, distant memories you could barely even begin to remember.

Eridan is sitting on against a wall and you're still sobbing into his shirt as you cry yourself dry. Even then, you don't want to stop, the impression of loneliness pressing down on you, suffocating you. You finally look up at him, feeling his hand on your cheek. You lean against it, finding comfort in the gesture. "I don't want to do this," you whisper, voicing what you couldn't before. "I don't want to be alone,"

"You wwon't be alone," Eridan promises, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips, meeting your gaze. "I'll be here, wwe'll reform Alternia, and you wwon't be alone. You'll nevver be alone again Fef."

"Think we can do it?" You whisper, looking up at him. "Reform Alternia? Make it peaceful?"

***

You look at your moirail in distress, listening to her words. You want to tell her no. You don't believe that it is possible to reform Alternia, but you simply nod, kissing her forehead. "You wwon't be alone," you promise. "You wwill reform Alternia, for the better."

She nods and gradually stands, picking up her discarded trident. "I want all ships grounded, as of now." She says, standing at her full height, sweeping across the hall to the throne and sitting upon it. "Summon our friends, we need to have a discussion."

"And the missing fivve hundred ships?" You ask, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow. "Wwe can't ground those if wwe don't knoww wwhere they are."

"We will find them, summon the others, please." Feferi says, looking elegant as she looks across the room, gaze distant.

You nod and leave the room, stepping outside only to send everyone a message and actual directions to the throne room. You pace outside, glancing up with a roll of your eyes when you see Sollux striding across the floor. Gamzee comes along, the indigo troll seeming to be hauling Karkat through the corridor, the troll in question complaining loudly.

"Ah bro, do you gotta be so motherfucking orney?" Gamzee asks, depositing the struggling Karkat onto the floor. "It's just a motherfucking meeting,"

"You have to be kidding me! I have to put up with this hoofbeast shit for the next, who knows how fucking long? I don't even know how long I'll live and yet, I am here to answer every single summons that Ampora sends my way like I'm a woofbeast to be summoned? How did you put up with this for the last half a sweep?" He turns his attention on Sollux, the psionic giving a shrug.

"I mostly ignore Ampora," he says, shooting you a smirk. You roll your eyes and flip him off before straightening, watching Karkat pick himself up. “But, most of us knew what we were getting into when we agreed to help FF.”

"It was Fef who called the meetin'." You say, clearing your throat. You don’t want to witness the stress in Karkat’s eyes.

"I spend half a sweep culling for her and now it's just a simple, 'come here, I wanna talk to you!' and not even a please or thank you. You know, if you didn't already have your thing with Sollux, I might have taken a swing at you myself. You're an arrogant shithead," Karkat says, glaring at you.

"Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the 'coon?" You ask, aiming the question at either Sollux or Gamzee. “Also, you look like shit Karkat.”

“Thanks, like I haven’t noticed. Can we get this over with?” He asks, slumping against the wall and glaring into space.

"Found the motherfucker sprawled, fast asleep, in a hallway." Gamzee says with a nod.

"We were in the middle of getting his ass back in gear when he saw your message and flipped the fuck out." Sollux says with a shrug and you raise an eyebrow, not wanting to question put prompting either of them to continue.

"All I want to do is go back to bed for the next couple of sweeps. Is that so much to ask? We’re not even ten sweeps yet, we’re not even considered full bulge sucking adults and we’re supposed to run an empire with Feferi?” Karkat asks, turning his attention to you.

You shrug, not sure what to tell him before turning and heading into the main throne room, nodding at Fef. “Sollux, Gamzee, and Karkat are here.” You say, gesturing back. “The others should be arriving shortly.”

“Good,” Feferi stands from the throne and walks down to meet Sollux and Gamzee, Karkat following with his hands in his pockets. “Part of my question is, have you decided on your titles?”

“Was that an assignment we were given?” Sollux asks.

“No, but I think it would be wise to work on it now. When we descend, we twelve will be the new face of government.” Feferi says, her hand tight against her trident before she put it away, you watching every move she makes.

“When will be up and motherfucking landing?” Gamzee asks, gaze darting around the room.

“Two perigees,” Feferi says finally. “Faster than originally thought. I wanted to spend another half a sweep taking stock but the time to descend is now. There will be lots to do upon landing back on Alternia.”

You lean against the wall, to the left of Feferi as the other trolls come in, your eyes swinging around. Those that have been with the group since the beginning. It had made you wrinkle your nose in disgust to have such a strewn group spanning the hemospectrum when you were younger. But at the age of six and a half sweeps, you had started meeting.

With those meetings, you had begun planning the take down of the Imperial ship. The hardest part had been getting to space before you were even ten sweeps. In two and a half sweeps, you had a plan, a way, and a hope.

You close your eyes as you think back to the fight that had ensued to even get to the room you all were gathered in now, the others and Feferi sitting on the floor and chatting while you thought back. You join them, your rifle laying next to you.

“We will need titles before we land,” Fef says, voice clear. “And where violence erupts, we will cull it.” She was determined as she spoke, hands moving, each movement a flourish. “Already Karcrab has a good ground force going. Easing the adult trolls into long deserted towns.”

“They weren’t very happy with the idea at first, but I think a lot of them were excited for the fact that they didn’t have to be on a spaceship if they wanted.” Karkat says, seeming to have calmed down from earlier.

“We will still need the space troops, but they can stay closer to Alternia. I would like to cede everyone else from our empire. Alternia must be here for Alternia.” Feferi says. “Eridan will be in charge of maintaining smaller armies.”

“Greeeeeeeeat, if anyone wants a military career, they have to listen to him.” Vriska says, flipping hair over her shoulder. “What about the rest of us?”

“Gamzee is going to take over the subjugglators,” Feferi says, nodding at the indigo. “Equius will take over construction, helping figure out plans for new cities. You will take over the trading commerce. We will need to set up trade routes on Alternia itself. You have a good knowledge of the seas, don’t you Vriska?”

“I mean, I do.” Vriska says, sitting straighter. “I can make that work,” she grins and you roll your eyes, snorting.

“Just remember to not backstab your friends Serket,” you say.

“As if,” Vriska grins and you roll your eyes again.

“Terezi will take over the law system. Rework it, find the weaknesses and run with what you would think better implement the law system. We will have adults with the grubs on the same planet. Make it so that it doesn’t become a mess of blood in the law systems. Kanaya will work with the current Jade bloods, seeing what needs to be fixed in the brooding caves to make us stronger, make us better.

“Nepeta-”

“Would prefer to help Equius for the time being.” Nepeta says with a grin. “And, if need be, I can start hunting and providing food for those that need it. Get back to hunting and nature.”

“Wonderful,” Feferi says with a grin.

“The rest of us?” Karkat asks, raising a hand.

“Karkat will start a new brand of threshecutioner. Settling arguments, as you were doing earlier.” Feferi says with a nod. “Sollux will work on the communications, getting everything up to date, getting us a secure network no one can hack. Tavros, working with the animals, finding a network within the fauna so we can have a system set in place in case anyone ever attacks.” She pauses, gaze landing on Aradia.

“Like he could ever do that,” Vriksa scoffs.

“Shut up,” Tavros shoots back and you raise an eyebrow in silent approval.

“What about me?” Aradia asks, gaze blazing in excitement.

“Mapping the old systems. I know you did a lot of ruin study when you were younger. I need to know the layout of Alternia and where all the old cities stood. I know some were good enough to move back in right away, but we need to rebuild and build for the better.” Feferi says, gaze sweeping over your friends.

All twelve of you are sitting on the floor like a group of wrigglers and you can’t help but chuckle to yourself about the situation. You were wrigglers pretending to be adults, but you were the best group that Alternia had seen in a long time, bringing down the Empress and securing everything you could think of beforehand.

“You couldn’t have gotten a better group of friends,” you say without thinking. Sure, she could have gotten a more upstanding group of friends that would have looked better, but no other group of friends would have stood with her.

The others seem to look at you in shock and you shrug, clearing your throat and moving to stand.

“Eridan is right,” Feferi says, making you sit back down. You glance at her, raising an eyebrow but not saying anything as she continues. “I couldn’t have done this without you and that’s why I rely on you so much. I have been doing research, looking into the older books the Condesce had. Records of what a Tyrian blood could do…. In there, there was mentions of being able to prolong another’s life.” She pauses, glancing around the group once more. “If that is something you want, to make the playing field even among us all, I am willing to grant that gift to you.”

You stare, surprised at she admits this. You glance around, glad to see your own shock mirrored on others before the others start to babble at once, Feferi standing and tapping her trident against the ground.

“You don’t have to decide, but I don’t want to see any of my fronds pass, not for sweeps to come. I want to be able to know that you are there. And that is why I am offering. Tomorrow, I would like you to come up with titles, even if they break the eight lettering. We are the new regime. We break all the rules that there are already.”

The others nodded, and you get up, following Feferi, unsure of what to say. Your weapon is in your hands and you place it in your strife modus as Feferi walks. “Fef?”

She turns when you and she are far enough the others won’t hear, having turned down a corridor to her room. Your mental map of the ship is getting better by the minute, but you can see the fear in her eyes as she meets your gaze, back straight. “I don’t want to lose my friends. It’s not a decision I can force upon them though.”

“The Helmsman…?” You ask, uncertain.

“Had the same thing happen to him. I visited him, when i couldn’t sleep one day. And he told me about it. That was nearly a perigee ago. I debated it, thought on it. I could not do it to someone who is unwilling. But I can offer it to my friends. We span the hemocaste. The others will die far before I ever will. It is my gift, for everything that they have done.” Feferi says. “I wasn’t going to, but I…. I can’t imagine it.”

“I understand,” you say and you hold her, taking her weight as she begins to cry. “Tomorrow night, we will begin.” You say and she nods, though both of you know that you keep pushing it off. But it will come, and you will face it with a brave face.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pattern breaking, keeping with troll in this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Actually editing too before posting, go me(sorry for previous chapters not being edited).
> 
> Edit: I am falling into a really bad depressive swing. Due to this, I am unsure if this story will be continued/finished. I will still try to get it complete, but I am uncertain at this point.

Your name is Aradia Medigo and you are listening to Feferi talk, eyes wide before the group breaks for the even. The talk of reforms, titles, and even extended life has given you a new perspective on just how much you could get done. You hurry out of the room, following Tavros and skidding to a halt in front of him.

You’re excited, to say the least and you know that look when he’s startled to see you appear so suddenly. But you rest a hand on his shoulder, making him stay still.

“What do you think?” You ask, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

“Of what… Feferi said?” Tavros asks, watching you bounce excitedly, a huge grin spreading across your face. He doesn’t move away from your touch, tipping his head as if in thought.

“Of course!” You say. “Can you imagine, an entire life being dedicated to ruin research and mapping out the ancient cities of Alternia? Longer than I ever thought possible! Would you still be interested in doing it with me?”

“Yeah… I’d be happy getting to play with animals.” Tavros says with a nod. “I, uhh, think that it’s good for you though! And maybe, I don’t know...”

“Thanks! And it’s okay, there’s no pressure to join. I guess I was remembering the days of team charge and how much fun we had. I think I figured out my name as well.” You say, stilling yourself so you can meet Tavros’s gaze. “I want to be The Wanderer. If I am to map out the ancient cities and be able to explore, I think it’s a great name for me!”

“Yeah, it is.” Tavros says with a nod. “And those days were fun, it might be nice…”

You had come up with the title when you were younger. You hadn’t thought it would be applicable, you liked to think that the voices of the dead played a role in telling you that you wouldn’t live beyond ten sweeps. But here you were, helping the most powerful troll in the universe and being with your friends. “What about you?” You ask, seeing the question catch Tavros off guard.

He offers you a look, before he nods. “It’s a bit long, but uhh… Pathfinder, finding the way through forests, stuff like that.” He admitted. “It sounds similar to yours and uh, I might change it actually. But….I do like the sound of what Feferi was describing, for me...”

“I like it,” you say. “Finding the safety to the end of the road. It would be perfect. And with all the animals, you’d have even more help!”

Tavros nods, and you watch as his face heats up. “Yeah, something like that.” He says finally, taking a breath. “I have to check on Tinkerbull. Talk to you later?”

You smile, hugging him quickly before taking a step back. “Yeah, I have to go talk to Sollux too. But I like your title, you should stick with it!” You run off before you can hear his response, finding Sollux walking alone. You slow down to a walk when you see him, unsure of how to continue the subject you were discussing earlier.

He stops, glancing over his shoulder before turning to face you. “Hey AA,”

“Hey Sollux,” you say with a smile, hugging him. “How are you doing? I mean, what do you think about Feferi’s announcement?”

“Well enough. As long as I don’t end up attached to a ship, it’s all good news to me. So...you’re getting married?” He asked. “Human married, we were going to discuss it then Ampora sent out the message for a meeting. He’s annoying,”

 

“Yeah! I think we should talk more about our other lives again. It’s a nice distraction sometimes. And we’ll get a chance to do that while Feferi finalizes everything in the next two perigees. What do you think?” You ask, the both of you beginning to walk somewhere, anywhere, away from the other trolls on the ship. You find their stares to be rude in a way, as if they didn’t want any of you on the ship. Though you couldn’t blame them after the fighting that had started on board.

“I think it’s overly sappy.” Sollux says with a shrug. “But thanks for the invite, to the wedding. Any news on other possible troll to human or human to troll connections? I know KK is a solid link to get myself any information I may need.”

“No, other than that… I think I could pass messages to myself with Tavros, there.” You say with a nod of your head. “It’s so fascinating! Why do you think we have these memories? What’s the meaning behind them?”

“Maybe we’re dead,” Sollux says and lets out a little chuckle. You laugh along, rolling your eyes before he begins again. “But seriously, maybe we’re just messed up. Ya know, having delusions and stuff.”

“That would be silly.” You decide. “We can’t be dead if we live in both places, right? And delusions just sound like we’re not all there. And I know we both are. I’m sure the soon to die and the dead agree.”

“Correct, maybe they could confirm-” Sollux begins, feeling a hand on his shoulder.

“Heeeeeeeey guys, what’s up?” Vriska asks, looking towards you with a smirk. “Having fun? What did you think of Feferi’s final announcement?”

“Of course,” you say, giving the high blood a grand smile. “We were discussing the possibilities that this is all a continuation of a dream upon our demise! I personally think we’re dead.” Your teeth flash in the light and Vriska arches an eyebrow. “And I think it’s very sweet of her! I would hate to die before my work is done, wouldn’t you?”

“You’re talking about...what?” She asks, crossing her arms. “And I guess? What about leaving a legacy worth picking up to your descendent?”

“Yeah….what?” Sollux asks, blinking at you slowly. “And if we’re dead, we couldn’t have descendents, right?”

You simply shrug, clapping your hands together. “It is possible that we died and are continuing out a life that is not possible. And thus, that would make the descent point moot, you are right Sollux.” You say. “Don’t you ever have dreams of another world where you get to bask in light Vriska?”

“I’m an explorer,” Vriska says with a raised eyebrow. “Here and there. Don’t tell me that you and Captor know about it too? And here I thought you were both just so boring and laaaaaaaame. Maybe I should have talked to you more”

“Of course we do.” You say and Sollux sighs. “And probably not after you tried paralyzing Tavros and killing me. But you know, we can let old things slide. For Feferi’s sake!”

“I think I need something to eat. I want out of this conversation. See you later AA, VK.” Sollux says, Vriska barring his way. He sighs, arching an eyebrow behind his bi colored glasses. “Are you going to make me move you Vriska?”

“No need for you to leave yet Sollux. I think this is something all three of us should discuss in detail. Cause, I wanna know why I got a wedding invitation in that world. We obviously know that we all have dreams. So just to clear the air a bit...” She says waving her hand though her face serious. “Why you are marrying Tavros? Isn’t he a little…”

“We don’t align between human and troll.” You say with a shrug, making a mental mark of Vriska’s awareness of the dreams. “It’s something Sollux and I discussed at great lengths when we were younger. It got set to the side in the midst of the greater picture though. Now, what do you remember about the human world?”

“I could give you a detailed account… Or I could get away from this snooze fest and take a little nap myself.” Vriska decides, glancing at her nails thoughtfully. “I think that I could tell you a great many interesting things after having grown up with Tavros. He’s such a snore. Here and there. Mom always made me take him places...”

“I know,” you say with a nod. “But that’s neither here nor there. We’re older there, aren’t we? So why does the relationships we have there matter here?”

“Because you two aren’t in any quadrants here?” Vriska says, arching an eyebrow. “I was wondering how you could put up with him there. Aren’t you the least bit curious of having an actual relationship with someone?”

“Nope, I am quite happy with my decisions.” You say with a grin, meeting Vriska’s eyes and recalling when she had tried killing you and failed. “Besides, it would get boring if we continued the same patterns here as we do there, you know?”

“I….guess I do actually know what you mean.” Vriska says with a frown, watching the two of you. “Then why aren’t you two dorks closer in either universe?”

“I have my hands full,” Sollux says with a grin. “Maintaining a budding business, working, and two of the best romantic partners a person could have. You know, keeping with the twos.”

“If you come to the wedding Vriska, you’ll get to meet everyone there. I’m pretty sure you have only ran into Terezi Earth side, haven’t you?” You ask, recalling vague memories of Tavros complaining about the two of them during high school.

“You’re not wrong…” Vriska sighs but nods. “I have important matters to attend to. Maybe I’ll keep a close eye on the both of you from now on. I’m curious to see how you two progress, both here and there. And ugh Sollux, keep it to yourself, okay?”

You roll your eyes at the back of Vriska’s head as she walks away, nodding at Sollux. “I have things I want to look up regarding the old structures of Alternia. The library on ship is just full of knowledge! See you later Sollux.” You bound off in the opposite direction of Vriska, your head turning with thoughts.

Sollux watches you walk away and shakes his head, going off in the direction he had headed originally.

***

You leave Aradia and Sollux to their chat, hand in your pockets as you walk the halls of the ship. Being on the ship for half a sweep has made you feel homesick for the waves of the oceans, even if that hadn’t been your original favorite place to be. You let your feet take you where you want, looking up when you find yourself outside of Terezi’s chosen respiteblock. Down the hall, you can see Eridan disappearing into what was the commander’s room, rolling your eyes before you knock on Terezi’s door.

“Hey Vriska, what’s up?” Terezi asks, opening the door and looking at you.

“Just got done talking to some others. You know all those stupid dreams you and I talked about when we were wrigglers?” You ask, moving your hands back in your pockets and feeling the edge of one of your die in them. “The one where we were humans while we slept?”

“Yeah, you haven’t harped about that in what feels like sweeps. What brought it up now? And we aren’t actually adults yet by Alternian law.” Terezi asks, a slow smirk crossing her features. “Do I smell the lingering scent of Aradia?”

“Yes, actually.” Vriska said with a shrug. “Overheard her and Sollux talking about being humans. So I asked them about it. I am also debating offering Feferi my services as a spy as well as a trading commerce. Getting into the underbelly of Alternian adult society and turning up secrets sounds amazing.”

“You do anything illegal and I will be forced to hunt you down,” Terezi said with a wider grin. “As for the other problem, it is possible that more than just you and I had these fantastical dreams of being human. Certainly it is something that is bound to happen. You know what’s the best thing about that world?” She asks.

“You can see?” You say dryly, arching an eyebrow.

“Fresh start, I don’t feel the need to follow in my ancestor’s footsteps there. It’s strong here, finishing her work. I love it.” Terezi says, leaning on her cane with a thought. “Though, I do see similarities between us here and there. But that’s not the only thing I sniff lingering on your thinkpan. What’s eating into you Vriska?”

“I always thought that this was like...our special dumb thing. Even though there were other people who played the parts of well….our friends.” You say finally, kicking the toe of your shoe at nothing. Your eyes are downward, thinking.

“You’re upset because others know about it.” Terezi said with a crackle, patting your shoulder. “Don’t let it eat into you Vriska. It’ll be okay.”

“Jeez, you make it sound so simply.” You say with a roll of your eyes. “Anyway, my lameass brother in the human world is getting married. We’re gonna crash the wedding.”

“That’s the Vriska I know,” Terezi says with a nod and you set into her respiteblock to discuss, enjoying the time to spend together making plans once more. It felt reminiscent against the old team charge. Though these plans also included an underlying web of spying to set up on your own time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I am falling into a really bad depressive swing. Due to this, I am unsure if this story will be continued/finished. I will still try to get it complete, but I am uncertain at this point.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot relevant chapter! Kinda. I mean, they're all plot relevant.
> 
> Also, depression sucks, but my friend chewed my ass out, so I won't just drop this fanfic completely.
> 
> There is also a rhyme and reason to them being dead/alive/reincarnated, if anyone caught that comment down below. They are in fact all three! Which makes no sense as of right now and will be explained as I get further into the story.

You sit on your bed and work on your journal, writing down what you and Eridan had discussed earlier that morning. Doing anything other than sitting around makes you happy, and you have sat around too long in the house. You had been back with your step father and brother for three days and already felt like time was stretching, like there was nothing to do to fill in all the extra time that you had.

You glance up when you hear a knock at your door, getting up to open it with a smile. "Hey Erifin, what's up?" You ask, leaning against the doorframe curiously.

"Do you remember Tavros from junior high? Had the crazy sister that tried killing everyone that tried to flirt with him?" Eridan asks, his own arms crossed, an envelope in one hand.

You arch an eyebrow, chuckling. "Vriska and Tavros! They don't even get along on Alternia, it's a surprise that neither of them ever mentioned anything about that place. Though, Vriska does strike me as someone who would fit in well." You say, picturing the troll with a small smile. “She can be nice, if she tried.”

"Yes, well, Tavros is getting married and invited me to his wedding." Eridan explained, holding one of the letters in his hand out to you. "In fact, he invited both of us."

"Well, that's glubbing amazing! What's the date?" You ask, brushing hair out of your face as Eridan bites on his lower lip. He glances at the card, flipping over the invitation to find it.

"Friday, August 13th, that's in three weeks. It's actually going to be in town. You want to go?" Eridan asks.

You nod, a smile plastered to your face. It had been a while since you had a good distraction. "I would love to go! Who's he getting married to?"

"Aradia Medigo," Eridan says, his gaze flicking over the invitation once more. 

"Do you think it could be the same Aradia as from our dreams?" You ask, your mind jumping at the thought of meeting others who could share your same dreams.

"Possibly, it is the same Vriska and Tavros after all. At least, if I am remembering high school correctly." Eridan says with a nod. "I'll mark down on the invitation that both you and I are going."

You nod, clapping your hands together in thought. "What should we get them for their wedding?" You ask, mind turning quicker. A distraction is just what you needed.

"Uhm, I'm not good with that stuff." Eridan says with a shake of his head. "And I have to go to work shortly. But I will mail this out on my way there. Oh, there's also a letter for you." He adds, handing the hand written letter to you. You take it with a confused look, looking at the writing on the front before nodding at him, thanking him and getting back to your desk.

_Feferi!_

_It's been awhile since I've written mew. I know that mew've b33n busy, but there's something I wanted to talk to you about! I know it’s be awhile and I f33l bad fur letting it slip… Anyway..._

_It has to do with running into someone from Alternia, where he doesn't remember anything about the other life. It's furrustrating that he doesn't remember it though! I try to talk to him about it, about anything... It's Equius! And I will admit, I miss my meowrail here, a lot more than I would have thought.... Things are different but… It’s just one of those things that spans life times, ya know?_

_I am going to Tavros's wedding. He mentioned that you and Eridan had been invited, along with a couple of other furrmiliar sounding names. I'm looking forward to s33ing you! It would be nice if a lot of the others did show up. Maybe then I can purrove to Equhiss that it’s an actual thing! He’s just so stubborn sometimes._

_Enclosed is a picture of Pounce, my lovely kitty! She’s such a lazy thing, but she caught me a mouse the other day! I sometimes purrtend that she is my lusus when she brings me small animals. It’s helps with the loneliness, though not always._

_Hope to hear from you!_

_Nepeta Leijon_

You look over the note a couple more times, smiling at the thought of your long term pen pal before drafting out a letter in response. It had been ages since you had heard from her and you leave your number at the bottom of the letter, offering a way of communication beyond written word.

It had started out as communication over a website based on reconnecting those who lived in past lives together. You had heard from two other people and that had been several years ago. You turn back to your bed, tucking the letter with the others into your dream journal and setting it aside.

You leave your room and call out to Cornus, letting him know that you're heading out for awhile before slipping outside, enjoying the fresh breeze. You wander to the beach, just a short mile walk from your home and you sit on the sand, content to watch the waves and think over things. You have done so much thinking lately, but you feel like you need to. Even on Alternia, you spend your time sitting on the throne and thinking, sometimes taking notes as well. You have extended your offer to each friend and each friend, over the past three days, has accepted.

You tied their lives to yours on Alternia, and still you struggle to understand why dread of loneliness seeps into every memory as of late. You lay down on the sand, closing your eyes and listening to the waves, letting yourself get lost in the sounds. You sit up when you hear your phone ring, answering it with a frown.

"Feferi speaking, how clam I help you?" You say, having not glanced at the name.

"Hello Feferi, it's Kanaya Maryam, are you busy?" The other woman asks and you shake your head before responding.

"Not at all, I was just laying on the beach." You say and go back to laying down and staring at the sky. It's been a few hours since you left the house based on the position of the sun. You must have dozed at one point or another.

"That sounds like a wonderful respite. I do hope your second to last semester of college treated you well." Kanaya murmured. "However, I am calling you for other reasons. Other than discussing college semesters, that is." She clarifies.

"Well glub, go for it!" You say, pushing your free hand into the sand and digging down, wanting to feel the roughness of the sand grains.

"Oh dear, I know both you and I have spoken explicitly on the matter of our dreams, and the true meaning behind them..." Kanaya began, trying to pick a point. You can imagine her as a troll, sitting with needlework or a sewing project of some sort in her lap while she speaks to you, her calm voice making you melt with each point she brought up. Your cheeks flush and you sigh, knowing you would have to touch on those feelings sooner rather than later. "I wish to know what your intentions are," she states, pulling you out of the memories.

"My intentions?" You ask, caught off guard by the question. You ponder before you shake your head. "My intentions are the same as I say there."

"Eridan has pinpointed the five hundred ships, yes?" Kanaya inquired.

"Yes. Kanaya, you know neither you or I will remember this subject upon waking. Is this something that we can speak of in the evening?" You ask, pulling your hand out of the sand. "I do not mean to cut your concerns short… Eridan did barely pinpoint the ships’ locations last evening. The plans are still being set up.”

"I am concerned that those you are sending will be unable to do what they must." Kanaya presses. "I do know that neither of us will remember, but there must be someone in the group who knows of the human life on the ship."

"Karcrab reached out to me yesterday, on the site we originally met on. There is stronger proof for others remembering." You say suddenly, looking at the sand on your hand before shaking it off and shoving it back under.

"Karkat Vantas?" Kanaya asks, a smirk in her voice. "If I recall, Dave mentioned his boyfriend was also seeing a Karkat Vantas... Did you know he showed up to our meeting in a sweatshirt and jeans? No class, Rose's brother." She sighs. “It was fine dining as well, I am sure Rose told him to dress nicely…”

"Yes, he knows about Alternia. If we can find even one among our group..." You pause and sigh. "We're all on the receiving end, we can't send ourselves messages, can we? Sometimes I feel so useless, cause I can come up with a solution here and not get it to myself."

"I can understand that train of thought. But here, we are humans. We do not have to constantly live in the thoughts of an empire. Maybe that is what these dreams are offering, a chance at release. However, we are derailing from the concerns I mentioned." Kanaya chides and you feel your face heat and your heart thump, the image of Kanaya as a troll looking into you with that same look in her eyes when you start to get too far off track.

"Yes, I know." You sigh, nodding along. You sit up, wedging the phone between your ear and shoulder as you begin to build a castle in the sand, finding the correct wetness and sand that you would need. "My mind keeps wandering to...other things."

"I can hear this. Do you think sending just three trolls to face the subjugglators is a good idea?" Kanaya asks as you work on the castle.

"Honestly, no." You admit. "However, Gamzee is pressing to go by himself and Sollux and Karkat will not stand for him going by himself. If they wish in joining him on a suicidal clown run...."

"They have a strong bond, those three." Kanaya muses. “It is not surprising that they found each other here. If what Dave said is to be believed.”

"Yeah, I believe Nepeta would call that serendipity or somefin like that." you say. "From what I have spoken to Karkat briefly on, he notices the similarities between the relationships. It's perplexing how often some relationships mirror what we have on Alternia while others are completely different."

"You and Eridan?" Kanaya guesses.

"Yeah, we make great moirails, but we're step siblings here and if my mother is to be believed..." You pause, taking a breath and shoving aside the thought. "I've also been talking to Jade lately!"

"And how has Jade been?" Kanaya asks, sounding amused by the change of topic.

"She's doing well! Mentioned you and Rose. How are you two doing?" You ask, feeling the lingering wants of a flush romance fade for Kanaya as you remind yourself that it is for her troll version you feel flushed for.

"We're doing well. Meeting Dave was interesting. I can't wait to meet Sollux and Karkat. Dave is supposed to bring them over for a sort of double date. Though, I suppose it would be a triple date, as Karkat would probably bring his other boyfriend.... Oh dear, I may have to discuss this more in depth with Rose than I thought." Kanaya muses.

"Kanaya, I believe you would have fun on a triple date!" You say, adding to your castle and looking across the beach. Several families are there, children running in and out of the surf as you talk. "Besides, you'll get to meet Sollux and Karkat here."

"I hope Karkat is not as infuriating as he is on Alternia." Kanaya sighs. "I cannot maintain a pitch relationship with him in two places. Besides, I am happy with Rose."

"Then be fronds with him and don't worry about it!" You suggest, adding a moot around the castle and taking a picture. You send it to Kanaya, a smile on your face.

"Lovely castle," Kanaya says, receiving the picture. "It looks like the designs you passed to Equius."

"I must admit, it's on my mind." You say with a sigh. "Eridan is a capable moirail," you add, guessing her next line of thought. "It's just harder when he's at work here. We do maintain the basis of that relationship in both places. It has made things much easier to handle. But there is only so much time in any given day."

"I am glad that your moirailship is going swell." Kanaya says. "I have voiced my concerns. I will probably get you alone tonight and say the same thing. However, I do feel better knowing that you are aware of them, even if you cannot remember when we awake. Thank you for listening to me Feferi."

"Of course! I'm only one person after all." you say, running a hand through the castle and destroying it with a giggle, your eyes wide as you look at the ruins of the castle. "And I will take it into consideration and see if I can convince any of them to hold off for another week. But with the rise of power, I would feel more confident with the subjugglators under someone that will listen to me. I want to get rid of any connection to my ancestor that might still be there. They’re too much of a wild card to leave...wild."

"Did you hear the name Gamzee chose?" Kanaya inquires.

"No, but Karkrab choose The Mediator. I thought it was funny. He was never good at keeping his temper until he started doing that kind of work, now he chooses it for his title." You laugh, laying back down. “He may have a solid work as a permanent ashen mate for me and the entire empire.”

"I believe Sollux helped him greatly with that. Between the two of them, I haven't seen a better pale relationship since...among our group, never. You and Eridan come to close second. It is amazing to see what a little bit of a pale relationship has done for Karkat. He may live up to the title." Kanaya muses. “The Mediator, permanent auspistice between The Benevolent Empress and the entire empire.”

"I hope it is not always like that. I think your pitch relationship has also helped. It gives him something to brace against and make himself better. Between you and Sollux, Karkat has grown a lot. Though I will say, flushed for Gamzee was not something I expected. Though Nepeta may have a better understanding on that." You admit, getting up from your spot and pulling off your shoes. You walk into the surf, shivering as the cold water touches your skin.

"Yes, they were down planetside for that to develop without anyone noticing. It is a breath of fresh air, I must admit." Kanaya says and you can hear the agreement in her words. "Gamzee has chosen The Inkwell as his name."

"The Inkwell?" You echo, arching an eyebrow as you look out over the ocean, wondering how far you would be able to swim without the ability to breathe underwater.

"Yes, The Inkwell. I thought it was more gruesome than expected, but at the same time… Is it not befitting for the purple bloods?" Kanaya shrugs and you laugh, adjusting your grip on your phone.

"It suits him. I recall how he once wanted to us everyone’s blood as paint. We are but mere inkwells of color to the subjugglators." you decide, glancing around the beach to ensure no one would hear your words and you hear Kanaya laugh.

"It does indeed. I look forward to seeing you in the evening, and rehashing this conversation. You enjoy your day Feferi." Kanaya says.

"You as well!" You say back and hang up, deciding that you would tell Kanaya in the evening of your flushed feelings, not that you would remember the decision.

***

Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you are twenty three years as of today. You set your phone aside as you finish your conversation with Feferi, your mind consumed with thoughts of the other world.

You sigh when the phone rings, bringing you out of your thoughts. You sigh deeper upon seeing Dave’s name before answering, fixing a smile on your face. “Good afternoon Dave, how may I assist you?”

“You really do talk like that all the time, don’t you?” Dave asks and you grit your teeth, your patience wearing thin with Strider.

“Yes, this just does happens to be my every day manner of speech and I am quite content with it. What can I do for you today?” You ask, balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder and picking up your needlework. You glance over the project, rethreading the needle and continuing with the embroidered picture of Feferi as empress, her trident taking shape under your watchful eye.

“Well, I talked over the double date thing with Sollux for this following Saturday… And really, I have to agree that a triple date would be more fun.” Dave says. “Before you ask, he mentioned it first.”

“You and Sollux, myself and Rose...and who else would be coming?” You ask, already having a guess, though you wanted to confirm it.

“Karkat, Sollux’s other partner, and Gamzee, who is Karkat’s other partner.” Dave says and you chuckle when your guess is confirmed. “I know we only talked about it briefly, but it would be fun. Besides, you were the one that expressed interest in the whole double date… And you know what they say...”

“I was expecting you to bring your partner with you when we met.” You remind him, keeping your voice even and polite. “But that had not happened. I will have to confirm with Rose however.” You glance over to where Rose is working at the computer and you see her nod, as if she could guess where the conversation was taking you.

“I believe it would be a grand idea for all of us to go on a date. I would like to approve of my brother’s relationship choices.” Rose says, looking up from her computer. “Please, tell Dave that all six of us can go out. I will make adjustments this very moment to our reservations. I am pleased to reconnect with Dave’s high school friends.”

“We would be delighted to have your everyone along Dave. Rose is making the adjustments to the reservations even as we speak.” You say, watching Rose from the corner of your eye. “Now, please remember to dress at least somewhat nicely. It would not do to have a repeat of last week, now would it? And I do mean dressing at least business casual, but not all the way up to suits.”

“I can do that but... you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the clown out of face paint.” Dave muses. “I’ll pass the message along to shouty and make sure that both he and the clown are dressed for the matter. I’m sure Sollux has some nicer clothes as well…”

“Did you say….clown?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at this turn in conversation. “I was not aware Sollux was dating a clown.”

“Well, Sollux isn’t dating a clown. He’s dating Shouty, who is dating the clown.” Dave says with a cough. “Saturday night, dinner at five. The fancy restaurant that we went to last week, yes?”

“That is correct,” you assure him. “Anything else I can help you with?” You ask, your needle flashing as you work on the trident.

“Not that I can think of.” Dave decides. “Thanks, I’ll see you Saturday then.”

You sigh as the conversation comes to an end. You pull your phone away from your ear, needle work in your lap as you think on what you and Dave spoke about. “Do you think is over our heads Rose?” You ask suddenly.

“I do not believe so,” Rose responds with a shrug. “We will deal with this dinner just as we would any other. How is your needle work going? You seemed to be stabbing at it violently during the conversation.”

You glance down and decide to set it to the side, shaking her head. “I must admit, I do care for the empress of Alternia. She is so unshakeable there. But here, she is just another young woman, making her way through the world. I cannot help but think, what if things were different?” You muse. “I believe I would be upset if I did not get the second chance of living. I have updated our shared document for you to read and pick apart. There are things I need to add upon having my conversation with Feferi, but that will have to be later. And your brother is very...frustrating to deal with most days.”

“I have been reading,” Rose says with a nod. “I know it would not do good to mention here, but perhaps if you approach Feferi tonight regarding your feelings?”

“I may, though I do know that it will not interfere with what we have here.” You say, meeting Rose’s eyes and smiling as you stare into the lavender hue.

“I know you are best able to keep the two lives separate. I am jealous that I was never gifted with such dreams. I would like to live another life, this one has a tendency to be so...dull.” Rose admits. “I believe that is why I find yours so intriguing. But if we stay and chat any longer, we will be late to the movies. Are you ready?”

“I am,” you say and put your needlework in its case, stretching once you finish. You walk over to Rose, looping your arm through her’s as you walk out of the small apartment into the sunny day, your heart filling with warmth.


	16. Chapter 16

“I’m sorry Dave, can you run that by me again?”

You adjust your grip on your phone, rubbing the back of your head as you listen to Dave talk. He had been rambling just a moment ago and you had been unable to follow most of what he said.

“Kanaya and Rose invited me and you on a double date. Well, it ended up being a triple date cause I want Karkat and Gamzee to go as well And if you want to spread it even further, it could be considered a quadruple date if you and Karkat really wanted to go for it. But, we did mention going on a double date with them awhile ago and I need more than just one buffer when dealing with Rose and Kanaya.” Dave reiterates after a moment. “Are you working? Cause, it sounds like you’re working by the way the keys are being hit on your computer.”

“Yes, I’m working.” You agree, taking a moment and scooting your chair back from the small desk. “I am making a mess of your living room and doing actual fucking work for once. And yeah, a triple date sounds good. This Saturday?”

“Yes, this Saturday.” Dave agrees. “Just… It is a fancy restaurant, so can you make sure Gamzee doesn’t wear his face paint? Kanaya might have a heart attack.”

“The scars underneath are probably worse.” You say.

“I didn’t think about that.” Dave says and you shake your head.

“I’ll tell KK when I call him. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled about the triple date.” You scratch the side of your head, pulling away the phone from your ear when it notified you that you had an incoming call. “Well, speak of the devil. I’ll call you back Dave. Gotta take a call.”

You transfer over the call before Dave can respond, letting out a yawn. “Hey KK, I was just talking about you.”

“Really? What a surprise,” Karkat says, voice muffled. “Hey, what are you doing Saturday?”

“Kanaya and Rose invited Dave, myself, you, and Gamzee on a...triple date.” You say. “Only thing is it’s a fancy eatery and we have to dress nicely, which would mean no face paint for Gamzee. You two up for it? I can cover you, me, and him. Or see if I can get Dave to cover us. He’s the one with the fancy job and all. Honestly, it would be worth it to make him pay.”

“Fuck, we’ll go. It should be more exciting… You said Kanaya?” Karkat asks, thrown off his original train of thought.

“Yeah, you know her? She’s vampire lady from Dave and mine’s high school years.” You chuckle. “Dave mentioned how fancy and fangy she was over the call.”

“No, but she’s in my dreams a lot.” Karkat admits. “So far as in, I mean that she’s a troll and we have a pitch relationship. Making each other better through rivalry and shit like that.”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned it a few times. But Kanaya, as far as I am aware, is a lesbian. At the least, she is more than content to date Dave’s sister.” Sollux points out. “So….any wise words from me to me in your dreams?”

“You complained about the lack of dates, but also about how you have too much work to do and for fucks’ sake, why couldn’t you just have more interesting dreams?” Karkat says and you laugh at that. You hear him chuckle before he continues. “Mentioned that you got ahold of Aradia. You’ve been chatting with her every time you see her. If it weren’t for Terezi looking your way in the dreams, I would think you were swinging flushed for Aradia. Then again, you also complain that you have too much to do there too for any meaningful relationships.”

"Hell, I'll keep that in mind." You decide. "What sort of bad decisions have we been making? I’m sure there are some in there somewhere."

"We agreed to go with Gamzee to face subjugglators." Karkat groans. "He's going to take on the current leader and it's the most fucked up plan I can think of… We’re going to get murdered and used for their messed up paintings and Gamzee thinks he can handle it."

"But?" You press, enjoying the game. Since the day at the amusement park, you have gotten Karkat to talk more often about his dreams. And you enjoy listening, even if you find the similarities between people and trolls a little frightening to think about.

"If we don't do it, they could rebound and try to kill Feferi." Karkat says finally. "That would put everyone into a state of panic. They don't bend so easily, subjugglators. Fucking insane clown cultists. Gamzee's about the only one I can stomach and even then, he comes close to the line. At least he doesn’t threaten to use us as paint… When we were planetside, I had to remind him that we were trying to represent Feferi in a good light and using her subjects to paint was a bad idea. But it was for the mirthful messiahs… You know, I’m sure he would be a lot better at explaining the fucked up religion to you than I could."

"And you think Gamzee can lead them?" You ask. "I met him here, he's not much. Lanky, doopy...always high. Kinda funny when he wants to be and has way too many fucking horns to be normal. Unless that’s just their thing? Horns and drugs?"

"No, but while we were fighting for Feferi... Look, they call it high blood madness. It's found in Gamzee's caste specifically, more often than not. During that fight, he was laughing and came out splattered in every hue that was on the ship at the time. I've never seen anything like it... Even here, I've seen him snap. It was before we knew you, in junior high. One of the reasons he won't talk about his school years. Some idiot was picking on me and he comes up, warns them all quietly to leave me alone. They start laughing at him and it's like..." Karkat pauses and you wait, frowning.

"Is he safe to be around KK?" You ask finally, pressing as lightly as you could.

"He pummeled the guy into the hospital. Had three of the jocks tackle him and came out without a scratch. Got expelled. He lived down the street from me and I remember his arguments with his father. After that he sorta..." Karkat pauses again and you shake your head.

"Look, it's his history, I don't need to be hearing it." You say with a shake of your head. “If he didn’t tell me, then you don’t need to.”

"No, wait." You hear the phone get muffled before you're put on speaker, a sigh coming out of your mouth as you turn half of your attention to the computer. "Hey Gamzee, how'd you get your scars?"

"Eh?" You frown when you hear him and you scratch the back of your head, wondering what this would prove before you hear him again, closer to the phone this time. "My old man was angry cause I got into a fight at school defending Karbro. Took a knife to my face. He got a knife in the gut and got sent to jail. Twenty five motherfucking stitches." Gamzee says and you can hear that he's high. "It's all in the motherfucking past Solbro. How are you tonight?"

You blink, looking at your coding as you process what he says. "Suddenly a lot less worried about you and KK going on a suicide mission in an alien world." You decide. “As long as I stay out of it…”

"Oh no, that's the best part. You're coming with us Sollux." Karkat says and you can hear his grin as you groan. "You couldn't bare to leave me off, fighting the subjugglators on my own after being away from me for half a sweep. You just are so pale for me, ya know?"

"Why...why am I part of your suicide run against the angry clown cultists?" You ask with yet another groan. "Hey, KK, you should make this your next story. I'm sure it'll be even better than the last one you trashed. I mean, 'Three out of their mind trolls face angry clown cultists and die' sounds better than the love story of...every single trashy romance novel I have ever seen you pick up actually."

"Hey!" Karkat takes you off speakerphone, his voice squeaking. "That was private writing! You can't be reading my writing! It's private and not yours."

"You threw it in the trashcan, so I picked it up cause I was curious. Once it's in the trash, you can't claim it anymore. Wasn't that something you told me? Honestly though, you aren't the worst writer I've seen. A little rough around the edges... Rose knows a pretty rad editor and publisher. Maybe you and she can discuss writing techniques at dinner Saturday?" Sollux suggests.

"Fuck, we're back to that?" Karkat sighs. "Look, my writing is a very private matter... I'm not actually looking to be published but, if I had the option… I do it to relieve stress!"

"I suggest talking to Rose about it." You say with a nod, using one hand to work on coding. "So, I can confirm us for dinner Saturday and Gamzee will be okay not wearing his face paint?"

You hear a muffled question as Karkat pulls the phone away from his face before he comes back on. "Yeah, Gamzee's fine not wearing the paint and sounds excited. See if you can get Dave to cover us? I mean, I do have money but if I can get the douchebag to pay, why not?"

"I'll see what I can do. Love you KK," you muse before realizing how sappy that sounded.

"Oh, you love me do you?" Karkat teases and you facepalm.

"I have work to do, bye." You say, hanging up before he could say anything else. You set on calling Dave back, glancing down when your phone went off with a text from Karkat.

_love you too asshole_

You roll your eyes but accept it, feeling your face heat up happily. You dial Dave's number as you work on coding, putting the phone up to your ear and listening to the call music Dave had made himself. "Hey Strider," you say when he answers.

"It's almost funny when you say my last name. You must be working cause that lisp I love so much is coming out. What's up? How'd the call with Shouty go?" Dave asks.

You roll your eyes, clearing your throat. "He and Gamzee will come along. Gamzee won't wear any face paint. You have to pay for us though."

"Us as in....all three of you?" Dave asks.

"Yep, between the four of us, you have the most money." Sollux grins. “That’s my price for dragging everyone out on a triple date.”

"Fine, fuck you, but fine." Dave begins.

“Tell me when and how hard you wanna go.” You break in.

Dave sighs. "Such a childish response.. If that is what it takes to get all of you on a date, and to see Gamzee without his facepaint, I'll pay it. Saturday, four pm. Kanaya will kill us if we are late."

"So we show up late?" Sollux asks.

"Rose will kill me if I show up late." Dave fixes the statement and you laugh.

"Fine, no showing up late." You agree and save your work, stretching out the kinks in your back as you stand. "Are you coming home any time soon?"

"No, I have to finish up a gig and then I'll be home." Dave says. "Will I find you waiting, a rose between your teeth?"

"Fuck no, I'm going to bed. Night douche," you say with a smile.

"Thanks, love you too." Dave says and hangs up before you get a chance to reply. You roll your eyes and put your phone on the charger before going to bed, laying in the middle of the bed just to piss off Dave when he got home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Gamzee, by far, is my favorite character to write on the troll side.
> 
> Also yes, through sweeps/years of meditation, he has the ability to access both sides of life. It's all about the miracles, no?

You pace in front of the throne room, trying to order your thoughts before you approach the empress. She is currently speaking to Sollux, Gamzee, and Karkat regarding the mission to the subjugglators' ships. You pause when you hear a door to your left opens, turning to look at the figure who had stepped out, the sound of a cane reaching you.

"Good evening Terezi, did you sleep well?" You ask, pausing in your pacing to turn to the troll.

"I slept quite well, thank you." Terezi says with a smile and you feel like you're being sized up before Terezi glances at the door to the throne room. "And yourself?"

"As fine as one can," you say after a moment, shaking distracting thoughts out of your head. "Do you need to speak with Feferi currently?"

"I would like to speak with our empress before the night is out, but it seems as if you are next in line." Terezi shifts, resting her hands on the top of her dragon head cane, her chin resting on top her hands. "What's eating at your thinkpan Kanaya? You smell...anxious."

"I must admit, I have things I wish to speak to Feferi regarding that I do not know if she will take well." You say after a moment, resting a hand on your forehead as try to sort out your thoughts. "I do believe the matter is of urgent importance, but I have to wait until she is done with her meeting."

"Is it regarding what her is meeting about?" Terezi asks, tipping her head to get a better look at you.

You shiver at the thought, nodding after a moment. "Yes, it does in fact broach on that very subject. I am worried that... Well, that our friends will die if we let them go. But I may be overthinking. I would hate to see any of our group...dead."

"Gamzee won't be easy to take down. Besides, I looked through subjugglator law." Terezi says with a smirk. "Anyone can challenge the current leader. They just have to state their intention. With Gamzee and Sollux both being in a quadrant with Karkat, it would give Karkat and Sollux reason to be there to suppose Gamzee. They should be okay? As long as Gamzee can kill the leader. If not, then they are likely to kill all of them and use their blood as paint. Think of them...as a gift if Gamzee is to fail. Three trolls for the price of one and new blood to paint with."

"That is....reassuring." You say with a sigh, rubbing your temples. "Thank you for that information Terezi. I would feel better not knowing it.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Terezi says with a grin. “You know, you can always offer to go with them if you are truly that worried. I believe your chainsaw would be of great use to them. And I always love the smell of grape soda.”

“I would rather not become a well of paint for any subjugglator if I can avoid it.” You say with a glance at Terezi before turning to study an interesting spot on the wall. “I do request that things are put into deeper consideration… Hello Feferi,”

Both of you glance up as Feferi walks out of the room, Karkat, Gamzee, and Sollux hurrying after her. Sollux looked on the verge of saying something, Karkat looked pissed, and Gamzee had the look of wanting to strange something but like he was refraining from saying anything.

“Hello Kanaya, how can I help you?” Feferi says, turning her fuscia colored eyes to you.

“Can’t-” Karkat tried, Feferi raising a hand and turning to them.

“You two do not have to go if you do not want to. I cannot change Gamzee’s mind on the matter. Either you go with him and keep in mind that all he has to do is fight and win against the current leader of the subjugglators, or I throw you in a jail cell at the bottom of the ship until you understand that what is final, is final. I am not about to withdraw a challenge from the subjugglators. They will think me some mere toy to play with if I do.”

“Hey fishsis, you don’t gotta be all up and doing that to them.” Gamzee says. “If they try to stop me, I’ll stop them first.”

“I feel so safe.” Karkat grumbles and you refrain from interjecting, looking at each of the three trolls in turn.

“We’ll go; we won’t interfere.” Sollux says, resting a hand on Karkat’s shoulder. “We interfere, we all die. We go under the guise of an offer of peace from the new empress. That is it Karkat. We can agree on that, yes?”

“That is what was agreed upon. I will be upset if any of you die. But I need everyone under one rule. I cannot leave the subjugglators as a wild card. They are as much a wild card under the current leader as they would be under Gamzee, but at least I know Gamzee.” Feferi says, turning her gaze back to you and you feel your own thoughts on the matter wilt before you straighten your spine. “The matter is final, if you would like to discuss it further, you will have to do so later. As of right now, please, I need you to leave soon. I will send someone that can navigate the ship for you Gamzee.”

“Don’t worry Fishsis, we got this.” Gamzee says with a smile and you shiver as you see the murderous look in his gaze. “I’ll make sure that the old leader’s blood is used as paint before the week is out.”

“I...am uncomfortable with that train of thought, but please let me know if you are successful or not.” Feferi says and Gamzee nods. Karkat opens his mouth to protest once more, Sollux rolling his eyes and placing his hand over the troll’s mouth and shoving him down the hallway. Gamzee chuckles at the display and offers Feferi a nod before sweeping after them.

“Good evening Feferi,” you say, feeling your heart speed up. You no longer know how to broach the subject, watching the other three hurry themselves away.

“Yes Kanaya, what can I do for you?” Feferi asks, looking up from her palmhusk briefly before finishing her message.

Terezi arches an eyebrow and straightens, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of your conversation with Feferi.“I’ll be on my way then,” she grins. “See you later Feferi, Kanaya!”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair before gesturing towards a hallway with one room at the end of it. You had converted the room into a workshop shortly after the fighting had subsided, finding its size useful for setting up your sewing room. “I have been working on a present for you… Perhaps now would not be the best time to present it to you, but… I cannot seem to find a more suitable time to give it.”

“Oh, reely?” Feferi asks, eyes bright as she follows you. You are relieved to hear her sound so bright, wishing it could stay like that for awhile longer. “Whale, I’m surprised.”

“I’m glad,” you say, pushing the door open and beckoning Feferi in. You turn to your workshop, looking over the dress on the mannequin and wishing you felt better about it. You walk over, beckoning for Feferi to join you. “Over the past perigee and a half, I have been making this dress for you… I do realize that there is not a whole lot of fuscia present, I was unsure of how to fit it in with the sea foam greens and the ocean blues…” You swallow, realizing you are rambling. "I based the colors on the skirts you used to wear," you blurt and feel yourself blush.

“It’s buoy-tiful,” Feferi says, clapping her hands together and walking over it to it, admiring it and touching the fabrics delicitely. “You didn’t have to, you know? I absolutely adore it!”

“I know, but it was...the best way I could breach the subject that I wish to speak to you regarding.” You say and nearly facepalm, unsure of how else to proceed. “I will a-shore you now that it is not regarding Gamzee and his suicidal run.”

“Well, at least it’s somefin different.” Feferi says, giggling at your attempt at puns. “Whale, water you waiting for?”

“Pardon, I do not seem able to… Hmm, well, I suppose it has to do with matters on quadrants.” You say, taking a dive at the subject. “The dress is an invitation of...or rather a declaration of my flushed feelings for you?” You say, turning the statement into a question as you glance at Feferi. “I would have rather approached this subject in a more elegant manner, but it seems as I have failed at being elegant.”

“I think you did a wonderfall job at it.” Feferi says and turns to you, meeting your gaze and walking over. You feel frozen under her gaze before she reaches over, kissing you with a small smirk. “I often don’t let people out of my nets though, are you prepared?”

“I believe I am,” you say, pulling away briefly to speak before kissing her again, your heart thrumming with joy.

***

Your name is Gamzee Makara and you are dead.

Not really, but you feel dead as your matesprit rants at you. And as you fade in and out on the other side of consciousness, not fully submerged into its depths flipside. You have spent so long swimming in both worlds, you understand that the grumbling in Karkat’s sleep is what’s currently keeping you from fully going under into the blissful world of sleep. You would deal until you had a moment to fix it.

You raise a hand, glancing at Sollux, who pats Karkat’s shoulder. “Hey bro, it’ll be all sorts of motherfucking fine.” You say, finally breaking your silence.

“Fine? Do you even know what you’re going up against?” Karkat demands, arching an eyebrow.

“My blood pusher says I’ll be fine,” you change your direction of words, turning your attention to Karkat and meeting his stunningly red gaze. “I know each beat it motherfucking offers and it ain’t going to up and stop its miracle beating just yet.”

“You are going to die,” Karkat insists and you roll your eyes. There were nights where you felt the need for a moirail was stronger than others. It was going to be one of those nights for the next couple. You would get through it, just had to stay the course.

“If I ain’t up and doing this, the subjugglators are going to be striking twice as hard at this ship.” You say, crossing your arms and drawing yourself up to your full height. Not fully grown, but already reaching nine feet. "If I go and motherfucking face him, it'll be even ground."

“And how do you know? Subjugglators don't play fair Gamzee.” Karkat challenges and you laugh, understanding just how you feel horns over heels flushed for him.

“Cause, it’s my own motherfucking blood link,” you give a grin and let your gaze land on Sollux. “I did my research while we were still down on Alternia. He knew the Condesce personally. He ain’t gonna let that slide. But I got my own motherfucking claim. So we’ll fight, I come out victorious and gain motherfucking control of the subjugglators. Only motherfucking way Karbro. I ain’t stopping you from coming with me, but I also think I need to remind your motherfucking thinkpan that it was your idea to come with me in the first place. I just one motherfucking to witness the fight and declare it neutral. That's why Sollux is coming. With you being my motherfucking matesprit, they might not even let you do that.” You want to remind him more than ever than they would enjoy using him as paint if you were to lose.

But you weren't going to lose, you couldn't lose or it would be for absolutely nothing.

“Which is why I’m going?” Sollux asks, raising an eyebrow and shooting you a glare. “That’s a shitty reason to invite me on a suicide trip. Nice job telling me now,”

“Nah bro, I’ll make sure Eridan gets his kismesis back in one motherfucking piece.” You say with a nod of your head. More strings, more entanglements to keep you level headed and to not let the rage take you over. The more trolls you cared about, the less you would be likely to be convinced to let the others use them as painting pots.

“Maybe this will just make me hate you more than the fish douche.” Sollux decides, crossing his arms.

“Fuck it, we’re going on a suicide run with Gamzee. That way, at least one of us can get out and tell Feferi that the subjugglators are coming to kill us all so the Grand Fucking Highblood can get his pants out of the twist for us killing his what...best friend?” Karkat asks. "How do you even find this shit out Gamzee?"

"I have my sources," you say as Sollux speaks up.

“According to the tabloids, they were moirails for a long time."

“Oh, even better.” Karkat groans. “We leave one loose end and everything we had to do to get Feferi where she’s at just comes undone.”

“KK, if you don’t get your horns out of that thought train, I’ll knock you out and we’ll leave you behind.” Sollux warns, rubbing his head and patting Karkat’s shoulder, finding it awkward to pacify Karkat while they were both trying to keep up with you. You glance back at them, slowing down your pace to let them catch up.

"You won't die," you ensure them with a grin. They couldn't die, it was too complicated to let anyone die. “We leave tonight. Get your thinkpan up to deciding if you want to motherfucking come or not Karkat. You wanna be The Mediator? This is the first motherfucking place that you can start.”

“And what dumb title did you choose for yourself?” Karkat asks and you can tell that the offended tone in his voice is a cover up. And you want to hug him, kiss him, and you feel yourself fall flushed for him all over again. He's your brave troll to feel flushed for.

"The Inkwell,” You respond with a chuckle. “It’s going to take us two days to get to the lead subjugglator ship. Eridan is passing us off a troll that can motherfucking get us there. That’s where we’re going now.”

“Speak of the douche…” Sollux says.

You turn when you see Eridan, nodding at him. “Eribro,” you say with a smile, watching him take a step back for a moment before he moved forward once more, shaking off the wave of chills you cause. You smile a bit wider, feeling the grove you would need for the subjugglators.

“Gamzee, Karkat, pissblood,” Eridan says, glancing over your group. “It seems as if I will have the honor of seein' you to the subjugglator ships. Fef believes that sendin' me will show that they are the only ones that have not bent to the knee for her new kingdom. Obviously, they know that otherwise they wouldn't be playin' around so much.”

“Make sure you got a motherfucking joke ready. Hate for you to be a motherfucking repeat of your ancestor. They ain't playing, regardless of what you motherfucking thing.” you say with a grin, watching a ghost of a fear cross Eridan’s face before he straightens his spine and stares into your eyes. You stare him down until he takes another step back, turning your attention to Karkat once more. “You coming Karbro?”

“Yeah,” Karkat sighs, nodding.

"I already have a kismesis." Eridan reminds you, and you shrug, hearing Sollux snicker.

"It's fun to mess with you Eribro," you say as Eridan leads you to the smaller crafts; one of which you would be using to reach the main craft of the subjugglator fleet. "But I ain't getting into quadrant shit with no one." The itch to slap him is strong though. You close your eyes briefly before reopening them. Yes, you would work on the moirail after returning from the subjugglator ship.

"A joke?" Sollux asks when he has a moment and you nod, a smile on your face. "Why a joke?" He asks.

"I believe," Eridan says, looking over the ships before selecting a craft and walking in as if he owned the place. It would be his, if Feferi continued on with him being the central point of her military. "It is because the subjugglator we're going to talk to appreciates jokes, is it not?"

"Something like that," you say, looking around the craft when you boarded and taking a seat. You roll your shoulders back and close your eyes, taking a deep breath and beginning to meditate. You had stopped doing so some time ago, but now you need the concentration. You open your eyes once more, leveling a gaze at Eridan. "His ancestor died by his own gun at my ancestor's hand."

"Yes, let's not relive that particular moment." Eridan grumbles and you smile, Sollux eyeing you before you close your eyes and go back to meditating, enjoying the moment. It's warm on the ship and the lull of the engine helps relax you. Your thinkpan is quiet.

And when you open your eyes, you smile at the ceiling of the apartment, stretching out on the bed. You curl back around Karkat, closing your eyes. It was going to be a pleasant trip on the ship.


	18. Chapter 18

You slump in the back of the seat, listening to the radio and Dave. Sollux rolls his eyes, poking you in the side, having opted for the back set for the way up to the place. "Come on KK, why the long face? We're getting free food from a really good restaurant."

You glance at him and let out a muffled yawn, shaking your head. Gamzee's sitting in the front seat, his eyes closed and relaxing while Dave chatters about work. You glance around before shrugging, meeting Sollux's green and blue eyes.

"My dreams seem intent on getting more and more dangerous." You say after a moment.

"Well, go on and tell me about them." Sollux prompts and you sigh, knowing he knows but appreciating the ability to talk about it.

"You, Gamzee, Eridan, and I are going on a suicide mission." You say. "We're supposed to hit the subjugglator ship tonight and fuck if I don't see it going any other way than fucking death. We're going to die, and be used as paint, and Feferi is going to be upset and there's going to be a war that we can't help with because, right, we'll be dead."

"Karkat," Dave says, glancing at you over his shoulder as he catches what you said. "You really need to lay off whatever gives you these weird ass dreams."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Won't help, and maybe I like them. When they don't turn into suicide juggalo missions." You take a breath to begin on another rant, Gamzee cutting you off.

"Hey Karbro, it's all going to be motherfucking okay." Gamzee glances at you as Dave turns into the parking lot, having turned around in his seat to better see you. "Your head is overreacting, it's gonna be all motherfucking okay."

"I'm glad you think so." You say and Sollux pats you on the shoulder, knowing full well the extent of what was happening due to you messaging him earlier. It had become an unspeakable part of your day since the drive to the amusement park to tell him about your dreams. It even helped, most times.

"The more you're negative about it bro," Gamzee says with a shrug and you lean forward, lightly smacking him on the shoulder.

"I'm like, five foot on a ship where the second shortest person is Sollux at like..five and a half feet. That's not including the douche hipster fish." You say, sticking out your tongue and Gamzee laughs, catching your hand before you can pull it back completely.

"Douche...hipster fish?" Dave asks, glancing at you and raising an eyebrow before returning his eyes to the area, looking for something.

"Yes, you heard that right." You say with a wave of your free hand. "It'll take too long, but I can give you the short version..."

"Oh look, there are the ladies." Dave says, spotting Rose and Kanaya as he parks. You pull away when Gamzee lets you, catching sight of his face briefly before he gets out. You get out as well and shove your hands in your pant pockets, feeling uncomfortable in the button down shirt as Sollux takes Dave's hand. Gamzee follows slightly behind, eyeing Kanaya and Rose thoughtfully. He moves to walk next to you, his elbow bumping yours every couple of steps.

"Good evening Dave and company," Rose says, her eyes sweeping your group. You nod at her, remembering her briefly from a Christmas party last year. Her eyes land on Gamzee and he smiles, waving before she returns her gaze back to Dave. You thought you saw something like fear flicker through her eyes but you push the thought away.

"I am glad you could come," the other lady, Kanaya you assume, says with a smile. "I'm Kanaya; Dave and Rose has told me much about you three in the recent week. There was a lot of interesting but conflicting stories. I'm hoping to get to know you all better."

"Does a sister like to use chainsaws?" Gamzee asks and meets Kanaya's eyes. She arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow and smiles.

"I do know my way around one." She agrees and Dave shakes his head. "Why do you ask?"

"You look like someone who would like to do chainsaw art is all." Gamzee says, Sollux snickering as Dave glances between Gamzee and Kanaya. "We briefly went to the same high school and we had a chainsaw team," he adds for what you think he assumes is further clarification.

"I never took you to be an outdoor type of chick." Dave comments and Sollux groans. You can already tell that it would be a good dinner, just with the varying personalities but you feel Gamzee tense ever so slightly as he looks up. You nudge him with your elbow, pausing to stop and look at him.

"Ah, yes, I was briefly in that team if I recall correctly. Took first place and then my mother had to move." Kanaya says, smoothing out a nonexistant wrinkle in her dress. "I fell out of the habit of doing chainsaw art shortly after high school."

"You okay?" You ask Gamzee as the others move on. You start to walk when Gamzee does, the other just nodding after a moment. Dave plying Kanaya with more questions regarding chainsaw art, impressed as Rose laughs and joins in.

"Thought I motherfucking saw someone," Gamzee says. He relaxes, shaking his head to clear it. "It won't do any motherfucking good though. It was a ghost, I'm sure. If not..."

"A ghost?" You ask, keeping your voice low as you catch up with the others, not wanting them to ask what was wrong.

"Mmm, my brother." Gamzee says and shrugs, his gaze scanning the crowd. The greeter takes Rose's name and leads the group through the crowd. He takes you to a private enough area, Rose thanking him and sitting down.

"I just absolutely adore the privacy of this place." Rose says with a soft sigh, looking over the menu thoughtfully. "You hardly are ever bothered by other patrons."

"It's wonderful eatery and I am delighted that all of you could make it." Kanaya says, sitting down next to her. Dave and Sollux take another two seats and you sit down between Sollux and Gamzee, keeping your eyes on the door, Gamzee doing the same. You feel him tense each time someone walks past and you nudge him, worried before Rose catches your eye and raises an eyebrow in silent question.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure we're all happy to meet you to." Dave says and Sollux nods along. "You won't believe what I had to agree to in order to get them all to come along..."

"Oh, are you offering to pay for everyone Dave?" Rose asks and you see Dave pale ever so slightly as he shakes his head. You glance at Kanaya once more, taking in her appearance and meeting her eye thoughtfully. Seeing her here almost wishes you had stayed on the main ship to spend more time with her.

"I've met you before," you say without thinking, Kanaya catching the remark.

"I am sure we have briefly met other places. In passing at school for one," Kanaya says and you ease into the conversation. You see Rose glance Gamzee's way every couple of minutes but you push it away. He's being quiet and you're not sure if you're comfortable with him tensing as much as he is. You press your free hand against his thigh before he takes your hand under the table.

"So, you never did tell me how you met Sollux and Karkat," Kanaya says, turning her attention to Dave once there was a sificiant lull in the conversation.

"Met Sollux in junior high. Karkat in high school," Dave says and Rose nods.

"It was quite entertaining when he brought Sollux home the first time. I believe Dirk, Dave's brother had a heart attack." Rose chuckled.

"I didn't know you two lived together," you say, tuning into the conversation with your hand still in Gamzee's. He's calmer now, and you're glad for that.

"We didn't, but we spent holidays together." Dave said.

"We did in junior high, but not for long." Rose interjected at the same time.

Rose and Dave looked at each other, Dave raising an eyebrow regarding the conflicting statements and gesturing. Rose shifted, glancing between the five sets of eyes.

"That is to say," Rose said after clearing her throat and gathering her thoughts. "We lived together briefly when we were younger and spent most of our holidays together."

"Yeah... Our guardians split and..." Dave scratched the back of his head and meeting Rose's gaze. You can't tell what he's thinking under the glasses but you suddenly feel like you wouldn't be getting the truth any time soon. You don't know why, but you have the strong urge to call him out on his bullshit, Gamzee gripping your hand tighter.

"I see," Kanaya says, looking at Rose. "I did not know you shared guardians?"

"My brother and her mother dated briefly," Dave said. "See, you have to understand that Rose and I appeared on comets and came into their lives that way. We were never actually born, how sweet is that?"

"Yes, my mother and his brother dated briefly. However, she moved on to date...other people. So we ended up not living together long." Rose said with a nod. "They did get together for holidays though. Mom absolutely loves throwing parties and the Striders enjoyed crashing. And really Dave, comets? Are you that bored? Or can you not add anything thoughtful to the conversation other than your trademark irony?"

"Interesting," you say and get up, letting go of Gamzee's hand. "I'm going to run to the restroom. Gamzee, will you order for me?" You ask.

"Yeah?" Gamzee questions, watching you before you head off. You try to shake the strange feeling in your head, wondering what just happened.

You find the bathroom easily, slipping into a stall, locking the door, and pressing the heels of your hands to your eyes. You get a grip on the here and now, remembering when you were young and had been ill. Your dreams while you were resting were half filled with normal dreams, and half filled with your life as a troll. Everything you had experienced felt like a lie, even the comfort of your father. While more often than not, you were firmly rooted in the here and now, there were times when it felt like someone was trying to wake you up. Someone was trying to point out the lies of everything.

You tense when you hear the door open before forcing yourself to relax, flushing the toilet and stepping out of the stall. You nod at Gamzee, the man raising an eyebrow and watching you as you step to the sink and wash your hands.

“Everything okay?” He asks and you shrug, not sure what else to say as you dry your hands, uncomfortable with the feeling of being watched.

“Yeah, just fine.” You say after a moment when he doesn’t move.

“You motherfucking sure about that?” Gamzee presses and you know he normally doesn't press.

“Yeah, what about you?” You shoot back, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been tense the entire time we’ve been here. What’s that about?”

“Told you, thought I saw a motherfucking ghost,” Gamzee shrugs. “But since a brother is going to be up and asking, it was my brother I thought I saw.”

“Shit, your brother?” You ask, trying to recall if you ever met Gamzee’s older brother. The memories were hazy at best and questionable upon further inspection.

“Yeah, he up and left with my mom back when we were little.” Gamzee says. “We stayed in contact, not well, but well enough. I ain’t be seeing him for ages now. Thought I saw him, was a trick of the motherfucking light, ya know? He ain't worth my time anyway,”

“I guess?” You say, rubbing the back of your neck before letting out a sigh. “Sorry, I’ve been stressing and when I sleep, I don’t actually get rest and the dreams just stress me out more, ya know? And I know your family is shitty and most of them are dead, but if it was your brother, wouldn't it be better to talk to him?”

“I got my understanding on. And no, he ain't worth the time I spent thinking about him today.” Gamzee says with a nod, hands in his pockets before he turns to head out of the bathroom. The two of you walk in silence back to the table, Gamzee stopping and staring at the man in your path. His back is to you, but you recognize the build and shape, and just how much he looks like Gamzee makes you feel stunned.

“What…?” You frown, following his gaze and blinking as the man turns and looks, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Just keep walking,” you say, taking Gamzee’s hand and practically dragging him past the man.

“Did you lose a fight to a cat?” The man asks, reaching out and putting a hand on Gamzee’s shoulder. You feel him tense, feel the hand in yours struggle to pull away but you merely tighten your grip, not allowing him to pull away. You know what happened last time Gamzee got like this and you are not about to let it happen again.

“What’s it motherfucking to you?” Gamzee says, turning his gaze to the man. At this point, you can feel your phone buzzing; Sollux wondering where you two had gone off to probably. You aren't even sure if it was long enough for him to be worried. Maybe the waiter came by to take your orders? You shove the thought aside, focusing on the here and now.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you,” the man says, plastering a smile on his face that even you could tell was partially false. It hid something else and you feel your skin crawl as the man's gaze turns to you.

“Right,” Gamzee says and you pull on his hand once more when you hear the dangerous undercurrent of anger. "Ain't no fault of mine bro,"

“Damn it, I will kick your fucking ass outside if you start a fight.” You hiss, turning an angry stare on Gamzee. "No fighting on dates, got it?"

“Kurloz,” Gamzee says before bending to your attempts to get him to move. You duck into the alcove that is hosting your group, taking your seat as Gamzee sits next to you, eyes narrowed in thought. You can still feel Kurloz's gaze on you, wondering what the hell that had been about.

“Is everything okay?” Rose asks, glancing at you two and you nod, unsure what else to do while Gamzee stares off into space, officially checked out of the conversation for the night.

***

Dave pays for you, himself, Karkat, and Gamzee as agreed upon and you decide to go home with him, knowing that there was still work to be done. You glance over at Gamzee once more as Karkat begins chattering about some romantic movie or another he was planning on watching when they got home. Gamzee had been acting off all evening, hardly answering questions and just staring. As you follow Gamzee’s gaze across the crowded restaurant, you see what he was staring at and nearly want to laugh.

Across the room is someone who looks stunningly like Gamzee, though maybe just a couple of years older and without the scars that decorate Gamzee’s face. Even from a distance, you can tell he’s signing to the person in front of him, the girl responding in a way you can’t see though you guess is more sign language. They're out of your sight as you walk to the entrance, already gone from your most present thoughts that have turned back to work and the current topic of conversation.

You glance back at Gamzee, watching him before turning your attention back to Kanaya and Rose. The pair were lovely, if not a little too involved in each other. Half way through the meal, they had started paying more attention to each other than the other four, not that you minded. It had given you a chance to relax and people watch while Dave and Karkat talked to each other.

“So Rose…” You say, catching her attention and meeting her eye. “Are you and Dave really related?” You ask, glancing between the two and trying to gauge Dave’s reaction behind his shades.

“It’s a bit of a confusion mess to explain.” Rose says after a moment. “If you take my mother and Dave’s brother into consideration… That is to say, if they had been married, Dave would be my step uncle? Not that they ever married per say...”

“Don’t think on it too hard,” Dave interrupts, patting you on the shoulder and you elbow him in the side, grinning when he pouts at you. “There’s family trees, and then there are really weird family trees. Just slot us under the really weird family trees.”

“But you aren’t blood related?” Karkat asks, bringing his full attention into the conversation.

“It’s kinda wishy washy bullshit.” Dave decides, pushing his shades up higher on his face and you can tell he’s meeting Rose’s eyes. “Bro was...practically a father? So… With my viewing him as more of a parental figure… I mean, he was certainly a guardian more than anything.”

“Family trees are bullshit, in Dave’s words.” Rose agrees, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you so curious Sollux?”

You shrug, something nagging at the back of your mind that you can’t quite place. Something that didn’t feel quite right. "Can't explain, maybe I'm paranoid."

“Dude, I think the lack of sleep is making you a little wonky in the head.” Dave decides, eyeing you over and flashing the girls a smile. “I think it’s about high time we abscond,”

“Your...part of the bill? I only had my card and you said you would give me the money when we were outside. We are outside David.” Rose asks, holding out her hand and you can hear Dave curse under his breath before he pulls out his wallet and forks over the money. “Were you thinking I wouldn’t notice?”

“Yeah yeah, I was hoping I could pull one over on you.” He sighs and you make a mental note to pay him back at some point. He nods at Kanaya, the other woman offering you all a smile.

“It was a pleasure meeting everyone.” She says and you’re struck by the sudden urge to tell her only if you live through the crazy clowns would you be happy to see her, but you keep your mouth shut.

“Hey Kanaya, right?” Karkat asks, breaking into the quiet that had settled over the group before they actually departed to their separate cars.

“Yes Karkat?” Kanaya asks, resting unsettlingly green eyes on Karkat with a small smile.

“Can I get your number? You seem like an interesting person.” He says and you find yourself nodding with the statement, though something still chewed at the back of your mind. You make a mental note to explore it later, not wanting to be distracted.

Kanaya hands it over, writing it on a piece of paper from her purse and smiling at Karkat. “I would say, I’m surprised that you would ask. You don’t look like you’re one for talking Karkat.”

“Sometimes the little bro never shuts up.” Gamzee says, speaking for the first time in awhile. “Too many thoughts whirling about.”

“Thanks Gamzee,” Karkat says, playfully shoving him. It's a bit chilly out that evening and you glance back to where Karkat and Gamzee have lagged behind, Gamzee standing stock still and straight. For the first time in a while, you take in his full height. You turn your attention back to them, Dave frowning and stopping. Rose and Kanaya are already gone when you hear Gamzee speak, and your insticts scream danger when he does.

“What do you motherfucking want?”

“Just wanted to offer a motherfucking word of advice,” the other said. He looks so much like Gamzee you feel like you’re seeing double. You focus on the non scarred man, watching Karkat open his mouth. “We won’t motherfucking kneel. You have the chance to turn around and not even try.”

“Such a motherfucking shame,” Gamzee says, his eyes trained on the other and Dave coughs, trying to break into the tension. “You up and being the last one left. You’re going to motherfucking die a cold, lonely death.”

“Bring it motherfucker,” the man says before stepping away, a smile on his face as he heads back inside.

“Care to explain?” You ask, feeling shivers run down your spine.

“That,” Gamzee says, gesturing towards the man, “was my motherfucking brother who up and left me behind when the old man and mom got divorced. Said he wouldn’t cut off contact and broke the promise. Haven’t up and seen him in motherfucking years. He's dead meat when I see him next.”

“Don’t you two share the same faith?” Karkat asks, snapping his fingers in front of Gamzee's face and seeming to break the weird trance he was in.

“Yeah, that’s what the conversation was regarding.” Gamzee says with a shrug. "Faith, mirthful messiahs, those things that you wouldn't understand."

“So what did you all think of Rose and Kanaya?” Dave asks, breaking into Karkat and Gamzee’s conversation, his gaze shifting restlessly as he got into the car. You claim the front seat and offer a little shrug.

“Rose seems nice enough, if not a little airy. Kanaya seems...down to earth.” You say after a moment, unsure how to describe either of them. "Rose has changed a lot, but also so little... She acts like she can see everything."

“They both seem pretty nice, but also have the stuck up feeling about them.” Karkat says, Gamzee sitting and staring out the window. You can only guess what’s going on in his head.

“Yeah, Rose has always been stuck up.” Dave says with a laugh at your comment. “Always has to be right, that one. Maybe, if we do another triple date, we can all go see a movie or something. How would that sound?”

“I say yes,” Karkat grins.

“Good, you’re covering us all next time.” Dave says and shoots Karkat a grin and you hear him groan.

“It was a good night,” Gamzee says finally. “Your not sis is pretty cool and her fangy friend is a wonder to be around. They have miracles in their eyes and voices.”

“Thanks,” Dave says as he slows down, stopping outside their apartment. The two get out and you tell Karkat good night, watching them make their way to their home before Dave takes off, a serious look on his face. “What’s on your mind Sollux?” He asks.

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, determined to keep your face as straight as possible. “What part of the story you and Rose spun about being siblings is true?” You ask finally. “Something is telling me it’s mostly bullshit.”

“Still on about that?” Dave asks and he takes the streets towards home.

“Sorry, something about it is just reading...wrong?” You say, shaking your head. “I can’t explain it. Like, the truth is there; that you’re siblings. But it doesn’t make sense. The story doesn’t make sense.”

“I can’t help you there,” Dave shrugs and you sigh, scratching the back of your head.

“The comet remark rang more true than your bro and her mom dating each other. Isn’t Dirk gay?” You ask after a moment, remembering that Dirk was also nearly the same age as Dave and dating some guy named Jake.

“Can we talk about anything else, please?” Dave asks and you hear the pleading in his voice behind the question.

“Sorry; dinner was nice.” You say and you feel him relax as your gaze tracks the buildings you pass before you get to his apartment and you’re back to talking about light subjects and he’s explaining things that don’t quite make sense to you about his DJ business but you let him, finding the subjects mind numbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small explanation:
> 
> In the faith that Gamzee and Kurloz was raised in, they used a form of meditation to access their internal self and thus they both are able to slip in and out of other selves.
> 
> Also, heeyo, I'm moving to Washington in like...four-ish weeks. August 13th, to go Goat Farming. I'm not sure if I'll be finished with this story by then, or what. But due to well, goat farming and moving and all that jazz, I don't know if I will be able to update near daily. Sooo, I'm going to force myself onto a schedule and sorta post every other day that way, if shit does happen, I can upload finished chapters.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo!
> 
> Depictions of violence in this chapter through a haze of rage. I am going to add that to the tags. I'm not sure how else to describe it.
> 
> I broke out a chunk of this chapter that was Eridan's POV in the trollverse because it was going to be about half as long and Gamzee's was already taking up about 3,300 on his own.
> 
> There is also shuffling of ships that will look more like i threw darts at random.

You walk over to Eridan as the other two trolls sleep. It’s early in the evening still but you can’t sit still. You see the ship you need and feel your stomach flip. You can’t tell if you’re nervous or...excited to be there.

“What’s the purpose of this?” Eridan asks finally, pressing a button and turning to you. “You don’t really think you can do this, can you?”

“It’s not about what I motherfucking think I can do.” You say after a moment, pressing a hand to your temple and taking a breath, calming yourself and sliding into the state you would need to be in. “I motherfucking have to. There’s a difference,”

“And why is that?” Eridan asks and you look at him. He hadn’t gotten much rest in the past two days and you can smell the fear rolling off of him. He didn’t want to go there, anymore than your quadrant mate and his moirail wanted to be there. But you needed them there, if only for selfish reasons.

“I don’t know if you would be up to understanding.” You decide, turning fully face Eridan, watching him like a mewbeast would watch a squeakbeast. “There are multitude of universes out in the motherfucking spacetime,” you say after a pause, gathering your thoughts. “I know the beast that we go to motherfucking face. I see it in the shadows of my brother and my father, from another life. You’ll get what I be meaning when you up and wake. Leaving them here, in the form of that bastard, does nothing but motherfucking break my pusher.”

“Break your pusher?” Eridan asks, raising an eyebrow. “You’re speaking figuratively, right?”

“I’m going to motherfucking paint the walls of that spaceship with my ancestor’s blood and make them all kneel to the empress.” You say, jabbing a finger towards the approaching ship. You’re closer now and you can feel elation surge up in you. “I ain’t ever been around another subjugglator. I threw my lot in with you all motherfuckers, backing Fishsis. It was the left path.”

“Okay,” Eridan frowns and you can sense the confusion, see it lingering in the unasked questions.

“The right path was joining the subjugglators. I should have done that. I choose the most viable path to keep me alive. The other would have had me up and fighting against my bros.” You shrug, spreading your hands for a moment. “You were on that ship, when we first motherfucking up and attacked. It was miracles, all around. The blood sings to my motherfucking soul. That ain’t something that can be up and beat out of us. We subjugglators will follow our own mirthful motherfucking messiahs until the end of the worlds, spanning countless universes and life spans. But they won’t be up and kneeling to Fishsis now. I’ve heard tell of The Grand Highblood. They’ll follow him to the ends of space if they could.”

“So you challenge your ancestor, you win…” Eridan pauses and you can see him swallowing as he tries to figure out where this plan takes you, what your motives are.

“We be your motherfucking military.” You say and meet Eridan’s eyes. “We follow our faith, we paint our motherfucking pictures, but we bend our knees.” You smile and watch him open his mouth to say something, anything before you let out a soft, small laugh. “But we don’t motherfucking harm my friends.”

“There would…” He tries to phrase the question and you laugh again.

“I fight, I win; Fishsis get a subjugglator military on the ground, and in the sky. But we get to keep our motherfucking religion. Those trolls planetside, if they even motherfucking think of rebelling…”

“Will be faced with you lot,” Eridan breathes and you nod, eyes wide in excitement. “Gamzee, I’m going to say as a...friend that you need to maybe invest in finding a moirail.”

“I know, it’s on the agenda of shit to do,” you say with a roll of your eyes. You point towards the direction of the open hangar, the seadweller doing the best he could. “I may have a troll or two in mind, but I’m playing it motherfucking cool for the moment. Won’t up and do if I die while I’m out here, will it? No time to look until this is all said and done.”

“You don’t plan on dying, do you?” Eridan shoots back and you shrug. You didn’t plan on dying, you planned on killing but no need for him to get worried about it now.

“I’ll take it into my motherfucking think pan and work it out when I’m back safe and sound among my friends.” You say and watch as Eridan guides the ship into the hull of the much larger ship. You make your rounds on waking Sollux and Karkat, pressing a finger to your lips. It would be better to let them wake up on their own, but with everything coming so close to play now, all you can do is caution them to be quiet and to listen above all else.

Karkat starts to say something and you shake your head, Eridan landing the ship and letting the larger ship’s hangar doors close before he opens your own. You can feel the fear that floods the ship as a single, large, troll comes out to greet you.

“Are you the motherfuckers that the new empress sent?” The troll asks and you step forward, lazily looking the troll up and down, finding the sign you were looking for before you meet his gaze, his eyes almost lost among his hair and paint.

“That would be us,” you say. Karkat and Sollux have joined you, Eridan hovering by the edge of the ship before he walks over and stands next to Karkat. Strange, for a moment, you can see the look of human in the trolls around you, and in the one in front of you but you let it fade back down and it’s just trolls again. No good to understand the connections at the moment. No use in putting faces to trolls, in getting the know on about humanity now.

“A mutant, a pissblood, a seadweller, and you?” The Grand Highblood asks, arching an eyebrow. “Well, at the very motherfucking least, I’ll get an interesting mural out of it. That little girl playing at empress already got my motherfucking answer. We don’t motherfucking kneel to her. But, come to think of it, all of your motherfucking signs look...familiar.”

“Ampora, Vantas, Captor, Makara.” You say with a wave of your hand. “Our ancestors probably motherfucking interacted. You’ve lived a long enough life,”

“Maybe…” The Grand Highblood looks over you again, eyes landing on Karkat. “So the little empress has our answer. What are you motherfucking still doing here? Scurry on home and prepare for a fight.”

“If you won’t mothfucking kneel, I’ll challenge you.” You say and you feel the tension double in the ship hangar, cold eyes trained on The Grand Highblood. He’s nearly a foot taller, if you didn’t take horns into consideration and you smile. You smile while he laughs, while your friends nearly bask themselves in fears but you put up a front, blocking them out of his own senses.

“You think you can motherfucking challenge me?” He asks once he gains his breathe back, still chuckling.

“I don’t think, I motherfucking did. Get your understanding on about the difference.” you say simply, taunts lingering in your words. “Such a motherfucking shame, you up and being the last one left. You’re going to motherfucking die a cold, lonely death.” And the words tingle as you say them, making you nearly laugh as Sollux gives you a startled look.

“If you die, I’m going to use you as motherfucking paint pots. What will a wriggler do against me?” The Grand Highblood asks, crossing his arms. “None of you are even motherfucking ten sweeps. You’re playing at games you don’t understand. I’ll give you that motherfucking much at least.”

“Ain’t no motherfucking rules about there being age specifications. Just something to be motherfucking done before the heiress gets too old. And you will motherfucking kneel.” You say, but already you know there is a process behind this. No use in just up and attacking a brother in the hangar of his ship. There had to be others watching.

The troll turns and heads towards a door onto the main platform of the ship and you follow, rolling your shoulders back and relaxing as much as you can. You feel your friends trail behind you and you gesture for Karkat to come closer, your breath low as you whisper to him,

“I be up and cloaking your fearfulness. If I be up to motherfucking dying tonight, you fight all you motherfucking got. But not a moment sooner. Pass it on.” You keep your attention forward, watching your ancestor walk, watching him favor just the faintest of limps. And you smile, feeling the plans form themselves. Karkat steps back and passes it on to Sollux and Eridan, his words barely reaching you despite being so close to them.

The Grand Highblood leads you through the ship and to a guest block, turning to watch you as the four of you step in, you waiting last to enter. You turn at the door, meeting his gaze. “Up to you to call the motherfucking time,”

“So you do know more about the subjugglators than I gave you credit for.” The Grand Highblood says and you grin, a wicked grin. “Midnight, tonight. The faster we get this over with, the sooner I can get back to my motherfucking painting. I can’t wait to add in new colors. It’s been so long since I’ve had any bright red,”

“Ampora is the liaison. At least he gets out to tell the empress of the failings, if there is any.” You say. “You’ll send someone to collect me at the appointed time?”

“Of motherfucking course,” he says with a nod and you shut the door, turning to face the others, a slow grin crossing your face.

“He’s taller than you,” Eridan comments. “You’re fuckin tall, but he’s taller than you.”

“I ain’t motherfucking done growing Eribro,” you say with a grin, flopping into a chair and closing your eyes. You find the focus you need and set it to the side, keeping it in easy reach. “But we won’t be up and dying anyway.”

“How do you know?” Karkat demands and you turn to look at him, eyes seeming to glow in the light of the block.

“He’s older than he motherfucking ought to be.” You decide finally. “You can tell it in the way he moves. What the Condesce did for him, who knows. But he lived long enough to see all of your motherfucking ancestors and see the downfall of almost all of them all. The room we’ll be fighting in tonight, will probably have the hue of every motherfucker on the hemospectrum. Don’t show fear, and fight back if I up and die.”

“You’re not going to die,” Karkat insists and you nod.

“No, but still being prepared is motherfucking better,” you say with a shrug. “I ain’t gonna up and die yet. Still too many motherfucking miracles to witness.” And you know that each tick of your heartbeat is numbered, but there is way too many to count to justify it all coming to an end tonight. There’s a miracle that is at the tip of your thinkpan but you can’t pull it closer. Once you clutch that miracle, then you’ll be happy to pass onto the next life, and the next, and however many follow it afterwards. But you can’t go yet, there is too much work to finish here.

Someone brings you food and you eat with the others before the same someone knocks on the door and you can feel the appointed time draw closer. The words from earlier still ring in your head. The picture of your human brother still clear. The same words you said to him, you said to your ancestor, making you fearless. And he knew, just as Sollux did where they came from.

You overheard Karkat and Sollux talking on accident, your mind wandering while Eridan types away at his palmhusk, giving Feferi updates and maybe something else as well. You try to pull your spongeclots away from the talkings in the corner but you listen, if as briefly as possible, to Sollux describe his dreams of the human world and you understand suddenly more than you really want to. But, for now, you would have to wait in order to process.

There’s a knock and a young female troll is outside when you open the door, a smile under her face paint and you nod.

“Come on, time to get the show on the road!” She grins and you step out, expecting the others to follow without complaint. You’re on the subjugglators time for the moment. Best to follow along until you didn’t have to.

The web you have weaved over your friends hold strong as you follow, checking everything you needed about the chucklevoodoos before regarding the troll in front of you. She is slightly shorter than you and talks quickly about things you don’t have a mind to pay attention to as she leads you to the room it would be happening at.

Hundreds of subjugglators gather around as you and your three friends follow the troll, the woman stepping to the side before you walk into the doorway she gestures towards. You step out onto the arena floor and understand in that moment it’s set up as a circus ring. The thought makes you laugh and you can see The Grand Highblood kneeling in the center of the ring, his head bowed. Your friends lingering behind, the troll taking up behind them so they couldn’t run if things went south.

You let him pray, your own prayers filtering into your thinkpan as you step further into the ring, hands in your pockets. Your weapons will be ready as soon as you need them. On the fly, you could pull them out and not even worry.

The Grand Highblood stands, looking at you with an easy smile as he finishes his prayers.

“So brother, what does the mirthful messiahs gain by you up and motherfucking challenging me?" He asks and you watch him start to move in a way that would have been considered hypnotic to anyone else.

"I ain't gonna be up and wasting my motherfucking time chatting with you," you decide, watching him pace. There is a slowness in his step you’re watching, waiting for. He puts his heel down just a tad bit too late and you're off, darting across the ring and tackling him. One of your clubs is in your hands before he fully comes down and you can hear him grunt in surprise. It’s a collision that would have brought stars to your head as your horns clang into his. But those were hurts for another time.

"I have motherfucking sweeps on you wriggler," he grunts, getting one arm under him and you take a step back and off of him, toying with the club before bringing it down ever so gently into his arm, listening to the bone splinter. Watching as he shows no sign of pain. A mask you could appreciate if you had the time.

"Sweeps beyond what a motherfucker your age should have." You say and grin as he snarls and lunges at you, one arm hanging almost uselessly. You side step, watching the troll crack his knuckles on one hand. You narrow your eyes, whipping out your second club and bounding forward. "Did the fishbitch give you a longer span brother?" You hiss, ignoring the pain as The Grand Highblood wrenches your shoulder out of socket by flinging you. You bound back up, rolling the shoulder and listening to it snap back into place.

The calm you summoned earlier is around you, soothing you and you grin. Following the calm is the rage that you put down sweeps ago. And you let it run wild, only the calm keeping it at bay when you would no longer need it.

"You don't know what you motherfucking have wriggler," the troll lunged again and you let him, calculating as you bring one club up. You feel him grab for the shoulder he messed up moments ago as you bring the club down on his knee.

You feel the shoulder crunch in the socket and push the pain away. The well of calm springs around you, clearing out your thinkpan and letting you concentrate. The rage egging you on and forcing your focus to tunnel to the one troll.

"I found me motherfucking friends," you hiss as you pass by and aim another hit.

Blood litters the floor, both yours and his and you grin. He's grinning to, but for different reasons. You watch as he tips his head back and laughs. You understand, the fighting is freeing, the beating lets you live.

"And most of those friends will motherfucking die before you." He says and you grin, not bothering to correct him. In your blood pusher, you know the truth. You lunge, bringing the clubs up once more and striking him. You're both on the floor and he's losing breath now. You can feel him struggle as you bring a club down to his rib.

There are moments in the fight that you lost to the rage, that you lost to the calm. You would have to string everything together. There’s blood-your own-on your face, dripping. More scars to add to the collection. Your shoulder protests as you bring your arm up. You know it shouldn’t be holding the weight of the arm but you can’t feel a thing but the bliss of the fight. And you know, your hands are empty, your claws at the ready.

Your eyes flash over The Grand Highblood. You see bone jutting out of the skin in places and you grin. Blunt force trauma was hell of a way to die. He could bleed out for days and still be okay. But no, that would be too tantalizing. You would end it now.

"I'm going to motherfucking kill you," you say, claws poised on the Grand Highblood's neck, your other hand having bashed in several of his ribs with a club. When had that happened? "And when you motherfucking wake up, you're going to say you're motherfucking sorry Kurloz," you hiss, your voice bubbling over to laughter.

"Motherfuck," The Grand Highblood laughs with you and you silence him, dragging your nails through the tough skin. You see the light fade from his eyes and you step back, still pushing away the pain. You pick up and pocket your weapons in your sylladex, turning to look around at the gathered subjugglators.

You look around, eyes heavy as you raise a hand to your face. Your rage is fading and there’s pain, several broken bones. Showing pain would be no good now. You like your lips, tasting the blood and grin.

They're quiet as they watch you gesture towards the fallen Grand Highblood before you finally find the words you need. "It's a new motherfucking rule. Use his blood as paint, honor the brother as we would any fallen brother or sister. Tomorrow, we join the rest of Alternia towards a new way of living." You shout and you listen to them shout back, cheering, several questions being asked. You tilt your head and find a horn feeling heavier than other, and you remember cracking your horn near the beginning of the fight but you can’t track when you lost the tip. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was resting and getting back to Feferi, telling her what had happened.

You register the troll in front of you asking a specific question, her eyes wide with exhilaration and you breathe out, finding the words she’s asking before responding in kind.

"The Inkwell," you say, touching the blood on your face and flinging it towards the sand, your own goodbyes to the ancestor you didn't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing Gamzee's POV.
> 
> And I have the idea that while in rage mode, he won't remember everything. Blunt force trauma seems like a terrible way to die.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus the shuffling of ships has sailed.
> 
> Cause...yeah, just take it as it goes?

You stare at the display in silence, your face fins drooping as you taking a step back, face pale. Even having seen Gamzee fight hadn't prepared you for what had just taken place. And you're sure that there were several things you hadn't been able to catch.

"I think...I need a drink." You decide, sitting in one of the few chairs next to Karkat. Sollux glances back at you two, walking over and shaking his head. "Did you catch any of that?"

"Most of it," Sollux says after a moment. "okay, maybe about half... It got really confusing near the end, but fuck, Gamzee actually did it." He sounds impressed after all.

"Of course he did you bumbling idiot." Karkat snaps and you raise an eyebrow. "Neither of you saw him fight when we got onto the Condesce's ship?" He demands and after a moment, you shake your head, having had other things on your mind at the time.

"I was busy helping Aradia and Tavros with their issues and keeping the ship from skipping space." Sollux admits.

"I was helping Fef make her way to the Condesce." You say finally. "I heard a lot of mutterings about it afterward, but what others were saying... It didn't make sense, not for Gamzee."

"I watched him beat two different trolls to a pulp in a less than a minute." Karkat says finally. "I was getting overwhelmed and he was there, clubs blazing, and next thing I know, trolls with crushed skulls are at my feet. And I'm not talking about lowbloods with weak skulls. They were both Equius's color. There was no way they would have gone down that easily. But, I don't think he's in the same class as other subjugglators,"

"You'd be right about that," a voice says and you put a hand to Ahab's Crosshairs when another troll steps into the room, hair pulled away from their face. You recognize her as the troll that led you to this place originally. When you glance at the arena, Gamzee's gone. "I ain't about to fight you," the trolls says, showing that their hands were empty. "I came to lead you to private quarters per The Inkwell's orders."

You snort at the sound of the title before Sollux shoves you with a roll of his eyes. "Your title isn't any better. At least he had the courtesy of being actually creative with coming up with it."

"My title is plenty creative," you say and swing Crosshairs back over your shoulder, Karkat rolling his eyes with a sigh. "What's your name?" You ask as the troll leads you away.

"Bloodlet," she responds and Sollux shakes his head at the name. "And you are?" She asks.

"Envoys of the new empress," you say simply.

"You don't have titles yet, do you?" Bloodlet asks and you hear Karkat snicker but Sollux steps in to answer.

"Not exactly, we're still under ten sweeps. I think Inkwell chose sooner cause he planned on this."

You roll your eyes, adjusting your scarf as Bloodlet leads you down several hallways, your map of the ship getting mixed up already. "He's the Mediator," you say as you pointed at Karkat. "I'm the Magician, the pissblood is the only one that hasn't chosen a title."

"Oh, do you do magic?" Bloodlet asks, stopping and turning to look at you, eyes wide. "There used to be a troll on my lawnring that would do magic for us wrigglers. Until the drones culled him. He stayed on Alternia too long." She giggles at the thought, clapping her hands together. "He had the prettiest olive color blood that I've painted with to date! Of course, I suppose someone let it slip to the drones he was still there... But the thought of all that pretty blood running through his veins..."

"No, I don't do magic tricks." You quickly cast about for another subject to talk about, glad when the troll started walking again.

"That's disappointing. Magic is little miracles we can control." She sighs dreamily and you have the urge to run the other way. The halls are void of any life except your group and she stops outside a room, knocking on the door. Gamzee opens, nodding a thanks to Bloodlet and beckoning you three in.

The other troll leaves as you walk into the larger room Gamzee now inhabits. The troll in question turns from the door and drops into a chair, eyes half closed as Karkat turns. He takes in the damage on the troll and gaps, unsure of where to even start.

“At what point did he get his claws on you?” Sollux asks and you pull out a clean cloth for Karkat, passing it over before he could ask. Gamzee watches the three of you as Karkat steps forward, offering him the blood.

“Not a motherfucking clue,” Gamzee says with a shrug, taking the cloth and dabbing at the slow oozing blood. “The fucker cracked off the tip of my horn as well.” He sighs and you look him over.

“Your shoulder is out of joint,” you comment and recall a time where you had done the same thing to your own and just how painful it can be. Seahorse Dad had shown you what to do. That had led to several units on basic health care, something you were coming to appreciate more every sweep. Perhaps if you got the chance, you would start.. But no, that was straying from the subject at hand.

Gamzee glances at it and Karkat takes in a sharp breath as the troll shakes his head. “Pretty sure the whole cuff of the shoulder is broken. I’ll be fine,”

“How much pain are you in dipshit?” Karkat says, shaking his head in disapproval. “Damn it, if it’s that broken…” He reaches up and presses lightly on the shoulder, Gamzee letting out a growl that has you raising an eyebrow.

“Do you want me to find you a medic?” Sollux asks, watching Gamzee sit back in the chair, Karkat chiding him into sitting up straight so he could readjust his shoulder back into place.

“I’ll be fine,” Gamzee insists and you sigh, walking over to him.

“If we don’t at least clean up your wounds, you’re bound to get an infection.” You say, crossing arms. You level a stare at Gamzee when he opens his mouth to protest before he shuts it. You uncross your arms and glance at Sollux. “Will you find a health kit?”

Sollux snorts but goes off, Karkat watching you for a moment before opening his mouth to say something. You shake your head to cut him off, shrugging and answering your palmhusk when it starts ringing with an incoming video call over Trollian. You make sure you’re not going to be picked up by the recorder when you answer. "You need to take your shirt off Gamzee," you say, the troll slowly raising his eyebrows.

“ERIDAN!”

You wince at the shout, glancing at the video and shaking your head. “Yes Fef?” You ask, Karkat hiding a smirk under his hand. Gamzee just shakes his head before taking off the blood encrusted shirt as gently as he can.

“You’ve been ignoring my proddings for updates. What’s going on? Oh glub, Gamzee, what the shell?” Feferi asks and you muffle a sigh, your face fins dropping as you think of what to tell her. The past two nights had given you plenty of time to think on what she said before you left, but you still weren't ready.

“The motherfucking Grand Highblood is up and pushing flowers,” Gamzee says and you realize he’s in view of the camera fully. You shift around, moving the small device to capture all three of you as you gesture at Gamzee.

“Won in a hand to hand combat against him, kinda.” you say finally. “I sent Sollux to go find a health kit.”

“Holy carp Gamzee,” Feferi says again, taking in the sight. And you can tell she’s sitting in her rooms on her husktop. Kanaya moves in the background, joining Feferi in the camera and looking at where Karkat was tenderly poking at Gamzee’s shoulder. Gamzee gently takes his hand, and you rub your head. It was going to be a long conversation.

“I’m not even sure how to set this.” Karkat admits finally, stepping back.

“I can do it,” you say and toss the palmhusk to Karkat, walking over to the subjugglator. “Hey Fef, can we please talk later?”

“Will you stop ignoring my messages?” Feferi demanded and you can feel the edge yourself. The last two perigees of stress slipping out of control. "I need an answer and soon."

“I am not getting into this conversation with friends around.” You say, Karkat glancing at Feferi and asking a wordless question.

“So you’re going to keep ignoring it?” Feferi demands. "Like you have been?"

"That's not what I'm gettin' at." You protest, not willing to meet her gaze or even look into the camera.

“I do agree with the fact that yelling at each other over a video will do nothing to help the situation Feferi.” Kanaya cautions.

“What was the motherfucking reason for sending Eridan in the first place?” Gamzee asks, hissing as you start to move his shoulder again and you're actually relieved when Sollux steps into the room with the kit and sets it next to you.

“Can you hand me wraps?” You ask, Sollux doing as requested, trying to be a buzzbeast on the wall.

“If I had to take a stab,” Karkat says, gaze sweeping over the situation and taking it in. “At some point someone flipped black. And it wasn't Eridan.”

“Can we please discuss this in a more private venue?” You ask, stepping on Sollux’s foot as you set Gamzee’s shoulder. You’re not as careful as you meant to be and you hear him hiss, Gamzee's eyes flaring wide. “Preferably when I am not on a ship surrounded by fuckin subjugglators? Or administrating first aide, actually.”

“Oh no, I think this is a great place to discuss it.” Sollux says and you elbow him after you finish setting Gamzee’s shoulder, making a sling out of materials in the kit.

“Both of you fishes need to shut up,” Karkat suggests. “Now, if I got a read on the situation… Feferi, when did you flip black for Eridan?”

“A sweep ago,” Feferi says after a moment. “I trust him to run the armies, he’s just so…”

“Frustrating to work with?” Sollux offers and you feel the urge to smack him.

“Yeah, let’s go with that. I know him and Sollux were kismesis, so wasn’t glubbing to step in. Thought I could stick a fork in it and be done.” Feferi shrugs. “And I got so glubbing mad at him earlier this week that I demanded he go with you, despite having stuff to do…”

“And I went cause I’m a fuckin fool,” you grunt, already turning your attentions to Gamzee’s horn. You hear the troll hum a word of thanks as you clean out the crack, bandaging what was left. “It looks like you lost about four or so inches of horn.” You say, trying to ignore Kanaya's voice offering something in the background.

“Why didn’t you seek out an auspistice?” Karkat asks finally.

“”She kept up the pale pity because she figured it would be easier.” You grunt. “This is going to sting.” You add to Gamzee as you soak another clean rag in disinfectant, pressing it the cuts and wiping away the drying blood. Anything to keep your back to camera.

“Are you even paying attention?” Feferi asks.

You take a breath and count to five before turning an icy glare on her. “I am more than happy to listen Fef,” you begin, “but for the moment, I am currently trying to make sure a troll can make it back to your ship in one fuckin piece. Because I am pretty shore that if he dies, you’re going to have a host of fuckin subjugglators on your flipper.”

“Fuck you,” Feferi began.

“Shut up and take ten seconds, both of you!” Karkat snaps, nearly dropping your palmhusk and glaring at you before into the screen. “I’ll step in and be your ashen partner just so I don’t have to listen to you both bitch. Fuck,”

“Thanks Kar,” you grumble, biting on your lip when he glares at you again. "But really, can we have this some other time...like an hour from now?"

“I-” Feferi began.

“Nope, it’s official. If you’re going to press him like that, I'll make sure you don't bicker yourself to death.” Karkat warns and you hear Feferi huff. "You're both at fault, don't think I'm letting Eridan off the hook, but he is in the middle of....that," he gestures, unsure of what to make of Gamzee and you.

“I care for Eridan but he’s just so…” Feferi trails off, unable to find the words that she wants.

“Arrogant and hard to work with?” You supply, remembering the last time that you had an actual feels jam that didn’t involve her breaking down crying. Where you had both put in the effort instead of it becoming one sided. You bite down on the side of your cheek until you taste blood, feeling the bitterness rise up in you. "This isn't going to effect our workin together."

“Yes,” she says, snapping her attention back to you. "I mean no, it won't effect us working together, but yes, that is what I want to say. You're arrogant and hard to work with."

“So it’s official, you’re breaking off the moirallegiance?” You ask, just to confirm. “And you’re asking Kar to be our ashen partner?”

“Yes,” Feferi decides. “If Karkrab would like to.”

“If it keeps the fucking peace, yes.” Karkat says. “Now, we really gotta go and finish getting Gamzee back into one piece. I’ll send you a report when we are finished.”

“At least you’re agreeable.” Feferi starts before Karkat ends the video feed. You finish cleaning the claw marks on Gamzee’s face, dropping the soiled rags into a trash bin and leaning against the wall. You feel yourself drained of energy, wishing that she had waited just one more night. Maybe it wouldn't have broken down into arguing.

“Do you up and mind clearing out?” Gamzee says, glancing at Sollux and Karkat. Sollux and Karkat both open their mouths to say something and Gamzee glares harder. “Door right next to this one, you motherfuckers can get your rest on. Out,”

The other two leave before you stand, feeling Gamzee’s hand pull on your cape as you walk past his seat.

“You stay,” he says and gestures the chair next to him. He lets go and you turn and take the seat, crossing your arms and looking at Gamzee. You tip your head, watching him scratch the side of his own with his good hand.

“Are you just goin’ to stare at me…?” Eridan asks, shifting in his seat and putting his feet up on the table in front of him, trying to get comfortable.

Gamzee shrugs. “I would hate for you to up and start a fight with Solbro while on a ship filled with Subjugglators. You look like you're out for blood currently. They’re passing the message to the others groups. Bloodsis will up and figure it all out with me.”

“Thanks,” you say with a sigh and pull your scarf over your mouth to bite into it. You can still taste blood from where you bit your lip during the talk with Feferi. All you wanted to do was curl up somewhere and cry, not that you hadn’t been it coming and crashing down around your horns. You just wish it hadn’t been so...public even among friends.

“I’m going to up and offer a brother pity,” Gamzee says finally. “And consider it not because you up and got dumped out of the quadrant. Something I’ve been turning in my pan for a while now. I understand if you all sorts of want to turn me down, but if you ever need a spongeclot to hear you out, I’m willing to get my listen on.”

You glance at him over the top of your scarf, not sure if you just heard what you did but you turn the thought over in your head. “Thanks Gam,” you say after a moment, not sure if you were ready to accept. But it was something to ponder over.

“Thanks for the first aide,” Gamzee adds, getting up from his chair and shuffling over to the bookshelf in the room, his claws trailing over the spines thoughtfully. “I asked Bloodsis about it; there is no medic here on the ship. One of the others, sure, but take a wild guess at which one was her response.”

“You’re welcome,” you say, wanting to add you would have done it for anyone. But you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t have. And you’re sure you can understand what your thinkpan was telling you earlier that evening before you reached the ship. And under the scarf you blush a faint violet, knowing where you had spoken from when you suggested he find a moirail. But you’re not ready to admit it, not out loud at least. But you had seen it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were other factors that caused the flip between Eridan and Feferi. Will probably be discussed in a human chapter.
> 
> Also thinking of making this a series, seeing more of the trollverse and how it goes. We'll see what happens upon the end of this because I have a bunch of ideas I would like to expand on.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit into several ships that float this story.
> 
> Next chapter should be back to the regular troll/human/troll rotation.

You sit back on your heels, watching Feferi before reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to do everything by yourself Feferi." It’s a gentle reminder, one that has been more often coming in the recent nights.

"I know," the empress says and glances towards you. "Aradia, do you think I made the right decision?"

You nod, taking Feferi's hands in yours. "I would have suggested talked to Eridan face to face, but... I've seen the fights you two will get in if you let yourself. If he and Sollux weren't solid in their black quadrant and he felt pitch on the same level as you...."

"I know but...he doesn't hate me the same way. I think that's what I feel the worse about." Feferi says and you look into her eyes, considering your next words carefully. She shakes her head before you can come up with a solid answer, fins drooping. "But I do agree with the face to face... Maybe if he hadn't been ignoring my messages."

"You should have given him a chance as well. There probably wasn’t time between them reaching the ship and the fight. Besides, I saw what Gamzee looked like in the video. I believe that would have been a good enough reason to delay any communication." You say, voice soothing as you run a thumb over the back of Feferi's hand. "Now, why don't we look into getting food?" You are both in the throne room, Feferi having had several meetings before her call to Eridan.

You had come in at the end of the video, Kanaya having sent you a message. Though you and Feferi had been talking for perigees prior to this, Feferi having insisted that it couldn’t be a true moirallegiance until she figured out her feelings towards Eridan. But you had been a shoulder she came to when needed.

"I'm not hungry," Feferi says but doesn't pull away as you stand and tug her to her feet. You lead her out of the throne room, guiding towards the nutrient block to get food, ignoring her weak protests.

"You haven't eaten since they left. Are you worried?" You ask. "They got over the worst of it. It looks like Gamzee cleared the goal. That is one less risk. You need to eat something."

"I'm still worried," Feferi says and you nod, stopping to look at her. She's on the verge of a breakdown and you quickly steal you and her into an unclaimed block, sitting down with her. Better to be in a room than a hallway for the next section. It wouldn't do for just anyone to see the empress break down. There was a balance to getting Feferi to express her feelings without being destructive towards herself.

"Let's talk about it," you say, voice gentle but firm. "There's no reason to hide from me Feferi."

"There's so much change and I'm worried that the trolls that preferred my ancestor will revolt." She says finally, folding her hands in her lap. "I am certain that they will, given the chance."

You're now sitting with your backs to the wall, shoulder to shoulder and looking out into the empty room. You reach over, resting a hand on Feferi's. "With every new empress, there is change. There are violet trolls, maybe even some of the purple as well, that remember life on Alternia. It's hard to say, depending on when the Summoner's revolt was. There has been no actual dates pinned down. Perhaps Vriska can offer more insight. She knew her ancestor's history well and they interacted before Mindfang's death. The Summoner and Mindfang, to be exact."

"Yes, but still..." Feferi closes her eyes and takes a breath. "She wanted to expand the borders to escape Alternia. There is only so much room... My biggest concern is how do I keep the trolls from culling each other?"

"We section off cities for wrigglers, and within several new broods, hardly any will remember the Condesce." You suggest, turning to look at Feferi's eyes. You lean over, resting your hand on Feferi's cheek. "The older bloods will remember and there will be resistance, but we can overcome it. We're your friends Feferi and we'll stand by your side, all of us. Perhaps we can even look into trolls taking on wigglers that wouldn't survive with a traditional lusus."

"You are wise," Feferi decides, closing her eyes. "I appreciate Karkat stepping up and taking the role between myself and Eridan. I'll admit, it takes a lot of pressure off my pan."

"It is the best way to go," you say and nod. "I am sure, if you ask nicely, Vriska may put her vision eightfold to use for you. Between her and Terezi, they can get accurate predictions if you know what questions to ask. They may be able to offer guidance in the matters at hand. Remember, we stand behind you, all of us."

"And how is your kismesis doing?" Feferi asks, turning the full force of her attention on you. You see the relaxation in her and you know where it had fallen apart with her and Eridan. She had admitted as much. Not enough time that she saw fit for him, more worried about her own problems. Not caring after a certain point. That was the true reason.

"Being a huge brat," you say with a roll of your eyes but with a smirk. "She's always making plans in a corner with Terezi for a viable trading route. I can't wait to poke the holes in it that will prove that she's going to be making herself an underground blackweb while she's at it."

"Whale, I can't wait for that subject to be breached." Feferi says with a giggle and you snuggle closer to her. You pull out your palmhusk when it dings, looking at the trollian message with a roll of your eyes. Feferi raises an eyebrow at you and you shrug. "Since when were messages taken during pilings?"

"It seems like talking about Vriska will prompt her to message. And we would need a pile for this to be a true piling but if you want, we can make the way to my block." You say, running a free hand through strands of Feferi's hair. "Though... I'm not sure as to what she would mean by feathers and a rude awakening." You look at Feferi with a picture of innocence, offering her a smile. "I would never even be able to find cluckbeasts to put in her block."

"Tavros helped, didn't he?" Feferi asks and you feign confusion. "But I...there aren't any beasts on this ship. How did you get cluckbeasts on the ship?"

"Tavros helped," you admit. "I got the cook to order live ones, and then Tavros helped me get them into Vriska's block. 

There's feathers everywhere apparently." And both of you laugh, the image of Vriska covered in cluckbeast feathers too great to pass up.

***

You close your eyes as you sit in a chair, the book still open on your lap. It's nearing early morning and you've done 

your best to phase out the pain of your various injuries. You open your eyes after a moment, catching sight of Eridan with his own book. His scarf was still pulled over his mouth and you can understand the pain he must be processing. The sopor should help with the pain, that's what you keep telling yourself. Not even five sweeps prior, you had been ingesting the stuff before Karkat broke sense into your pan.

You get up from the chair after a moment, setting the book back on the shelf and adjusting the sling of your hurt arm as you process the thoughts. Even then, Karkat had been suggesting you needed a moirail, but there just hadn't been time. He had offered, but then Sollux and him had hit it off. You weren't going to stand in the way of that. So here you were, and your eyes are resting on Eridan, the slow moving plans still turning in your pan.

"Hey Eribro?"

He glances up, meeting your gaze before setting the book aside. "What's up? Do you need me to check over the injuries? Or maybe you would like a suggestin for the pain." He talks quickly, watching you with something in his eyes you can't quite pick out.

"Do you often dream?" You ask, trying to pick apart where he might lay on your internal chart. There were a lot of gaps, only a couple slots filled. One of the long term goals that fell short of being completed any time soon.

"Not that I can remember," he says after a moment. "Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever remembered dreaming. I thought it was an effect of the sopor."

You nod, shuffling around the room once more. It was a subset of rooms outside the main block that you were calling your own while on the ship. Already you had directed Bloodlet to get the other ships to turn back to Alternia. No use in drifting out in space any longer than you had to. "Think you can remember a number for me?" She had even been thoughtful enough to bring you a collection of books that The Grand Highblood had secreted away, of which now you and Eridan were reading over.

"A number?" Eridan asks, curiosity in his words as he pulls down his scarf so he wouldn't muffle his words. "What kind a number?"

"I'm taking a wild stab at something," you say with a shrug. "If you don't dream here... I'm wanting to know if you dream elsewhere."

"That...doesn't make sense," Eridan comments, frowning. "But, I guess I can remember a number. What do I do with it?"

"Well, if you up and be remembering it when you're awake there and not here... Ah motherfuck, I don't know how to explain this well at all." You pause, gathering your thoughts together. "There's a thought rattling in my pan. It won't up and mean much tomorrow night. But when you wake up...message this number," and you recite your cellphone number.

Eridan jots it down in his palmhusk, repeating it back a couple of times with a frown. "You want me to...send this number a message?"

"Only if you remember." You agree. "If you don't, don't up and worry your pan about it. I'm just...testing the waters on a thing. And if anything...if you don't remember until tomorrow evening, then it'll be fine."

"What are your plans now?" Eridan asks, catching you off guard.

"With what bro?" You ask, sitting back down and tipping your head, the off balance horn making you very faintly frustrated. It was worth it to have gotten through your ancestor though.

"The subjugglators," Eridan says and you can sense a lingering question under it, but you wouldn't prod, not yet.

"Well, they up and be wanting to have their faith. I don't see no motherfucking reason to deny that. We'll probably set up somewhere on Alternia, make our own faith hives. Of course, I also up and plan on offering them as a resource for the military. Ain't no one wanting to be fighting a bunch of us." You wave your good arm to mean the ships. "There is a lot of motherfucking empty land on Alternia."

"And the rages? How do you plan on keeping them from culling innocent trolls?" Eridan asks. "I do see the use of them being an army. Most trolls would quake at the thought of fighting a bunch of subjugglators even if they do plan a rebellion. But what about...after you pass?"

"I train someone for the job. Make them see the use of being near as peaceful as they can be." You say. "What's on your motherfucking pan Eridan?"

"The offer Feferi made." Eridan says finally. "If she extends our lives...to the end of hers, what will we fight for? Don't you think that others will realize that all of us have lived longer than necissary? We don't even know how long Kar could live for." Eridan asks and you frown, turning the question over.

"Well, we up and fight for our friends and for what Fishsis wants to build." You say finally. "A world where it doesn't matter your blood color, like what Karbro's ancestor was up and about before he got culled."

"There will be so many trolls against it." Eridan retorts. "Just among the violet bloods I spoke to that were on ships while you and Kar were planetside. They reject the idea of everyone being the same, but they're excited to go back to Alternia and the water. There won't be peace, not for a long while."

"There are positive sides to this," you say with a nod. "We're up and told that at nine or ten sweeps, we can't be seeing Alternia again. Up to that point, it was our whole motherfucking lives. I know Fishsis didn't have a lusus to take care of her. We ain't meant to be up in space. Maybe some of us, but most of us want the miracles of the planet underneath our feet. The Condesce was up and motherfucking running from her own demons."

"There will still be trolls that are needed in space, with how far the Condesce pushed the boundaries of her empire. There's no denying that." Eridan says, his frown thoughtful. You lean forward, careful to not jar your shoulder, wondering where that train of thought could lead you.

"If you could be anything you wanted to, what would you be?" You ask, leveling your gaze on Eridan and watching him like a beast on the trail of a piece of pray.

"Anythin?" He asks with a frown, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. "Historian," he says after a moment. "History, military history, is interesting. Being able to... I'm not even sure how to explain that."

"History is important," you agree, stretching out your back and yawning. "Maybe you can be a motherfucking miracle worker and write down all that has happened for the future broods. Something you can up and be doing while leading the military. Plenty of books up and in this room that ain't motherfucking available elsewhere. Something to say for The Grand Highblood, he hated his motherfucking history books to be pruned by The Condesce. Feel free to take whatever you want before we up and leave. Bloodlet is more than willing to let us take them."

"Thanks," Eridan says with a nod, setting his book to the side and getting up, looking over all the other books you had pointed out. They were stacked on a bookcase, several older than you could have imagined.

"I'm off to hit the 'coon, see you in the morning." You say and head off, figuring Eridan would be busy for a couple more hours at least.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a couple chapters back, I mentioned making a couple of spin offs and this being a series. Or I think I did and may not have despite having intended to.
> 
> Anyway, the series would continue specifically in the trollverse, leaving the human side to the side and focusing on how the trolls work.
> 
> That's cause things are coming to...not necessarily a conclusion, but a cliff on the human side. Not sure how else to explain it.
> 
> And if y'all would be interested in seeing a series that expand on the troll side(or even the human side, may make small one shots in the series if anything within both sides, not sure yet). I'm really curious on your thoughts on this, if you wouldn't mind leaving a comment down below!

You open your eyes, listening to the front door shut. You hazily remember the number...the number Gamzee had given you last night.

The thought makes you sit up and you throw your blanket off of you. It's still early in the morning, maybe a little past sunrise. You find your phone, discarded the night before on your small side table and input the number, carefully trying to recall it perfectly from your dream.

You look at the number you typed in, repeating it several times to make sure no mistakes were made. And you pause, trying to come up with a message that didn’t sound flat out insane. When you look at the time it's barely past five thirty in the morning and you still wanted to talk to Feferi. The dreams filter through your mind and you try to push away the lingering sadness of her flipping quadrants.

_hey gamzee_  
_ugh this is wweird_  
_look its eridan ampora_  
_i got your number in a dream?_  
_wwhatevver_  
_if this is not Gamzee_  
_let me knoww_  
_i wwont bother you again_

You send off the rapid messages, slowly running a hand over your face when you read back through them. It was probably a really vivid dream, but it couldn't be.... You hadn’t come across anyone that had been able to do something like that. Maybe your brain was fried and it wouldn’t actually work. The thoughts are cut off as your phone buzzes with incoming messages.

_hEy ErIbRo_  
_ItS wIcKeD mIrAcLeS tHaT iT wOrKeD_  
_:o)_

You stare at the messages, trying to process them before you get up. You find a pair of clean pants and pull them on, deciding your night shirt was good enough. You pull on shoes and socks before heading out the door, locking the bottom part. It's about a mile walk to the beach, but your mind is processing the messages that you got back. Maybe this was a dream itself?

But...

Confirmation that others on Alternia knew about the human world, that others dreamed and could bridge the gap. It was too much to pass up, too much to grasp at this early in the morning.

You glance up when you smell the ocean, spotting the lone figure on the beach. You pause, recalling your last conversation with Feferi. You stall at the edge of the sand before looking at your phone, finding everything that had happened utterly ridiculous up to that point.

_i havve no idea howw you managed_  
_but i guess its cool to knoww that others havve the same dreams_  
_but you can recall giving me the number_  
_can you focus on both there and here at once_  
_wwhere you pale flirting after fef flipped ashen_

You want to kick yourself after sending that last message, walking onto the sand and heading towards Feferi. You clear your throat, catching her attention before walking over the rest of the way.

She glances up at you, startled that you're up before noon after having worked a late shift last night. "Hey Eridan," she says, voice unusually somber.

"Hey Fef, may I sit?" You ask, glancing around before your eyes fall on the castle that is half made in front of her.

"Shore, it’s a free beach." She says, waving next to her. She’s distant, her eyes on the surf while her hands worked on the sand castle, idly and without real emotion.

"You know I'm not mad at you." You say after you sit next to her. Your phone chimes and she gives you a curious look when you glance at it, reading the message and rolling your eyes at its content.

_mAyBe :o(_  
_CaNt MoThErFuCkInG kNoW wItH mIrAcLeS bRo_

"Everyfin okray?" Feferi asks, looking at your face. "And I know we had discussed it yesterday I just feel so...bad at how everything went down. I wish I had more tact."

"Well, I think Gam was hitting on me after that. It was honestly weird, yet enjoyable?" You say and sigh.No need to think about that aspect right now. You just had to focus on the here and now. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah! Aradia has been kelping-" She stops, glancing at him from the corner of her eye while she works on the castle. "I forget... She's been kelping me for a perigee or two now. Maybe I haven't been so truthful in everyfin I've currently passed to you. You understand, right?"

"I can see it," you say after a moment, fiddling with your phone. "Maybe it's not meant to be, you and me." You joke. "Trollverse aside, I view you as a sibling more than anythin. Sometimes though, I wish these memories carried over, but maybe it's for the best they don't. Neither of us were getting what we needed. Aradia is good for you."

"And you?" Feferi asks, swiping at the castle and flattening it. "You were stressed last night, when the call."

"Yes, and so were you." You countered, not wanting this to become about you. "I was also trying to do the best I could with medic support. Fuckin four hundred ships and like maybe two medics throughout all four hundred. Speakin of, there's still a hundred missin. And Bloodlet, one of the subjugglators, gave Gamzee a bunch of unedited history books that the Grand Highblood had stashed away."

"Not your strongest suit. I understand if they don't have medics. It's cull or be culled for them. They wouldn't want anyone weak in their ranks, would they?" Feferi says, voice venomous as she begins on a new sand castle, mouth turned down in thought. You glance at your phone when it buzzed again, raising an eyebrow. “I am interested in those history books though. Whale you bring them back?”

_PrObAbLy NoT tHe MoThErFuCkInG bEsT tImE_  
_bUt Do YoU kNoW fIsHsIs On ThIs sIdE?_  
_sOrRy AbOuT tHe FlIrTiNg_

"Yes, I will. I want to study them as well. It’s worth it, if they haven’t been touched. And I can't believe this guy," you decide, tossing the phone onto the sand while you think of a way to reply. You weren't sure what to do...but he didn't flinch when you messaged him. He responded in kind, not missing a single beat.

"This guy?" Feferi asks, turning her gaze on you with a grin. "Did you start glubbing to the people that stay at the hotel again? You know how shell that went before."

"No, I got this number from the dream." You say with a wave of your hand.

"A dream?" Feferi asks. "Who...gave you their number?"

"You would never guess." You say with a groan. "I'm not even sure how to...process this. It's Gamzee by the way. He was nonchalant about handing me his fuckin phone number, says to message him if I remembered. And he can even remember givin it to me. What do you make of that?"

“Gamzee is able to remember giving you his number? Wasn’t the one thing that we’ve found…” Feferi frowns, staring at the sand in thought.

_do you have a reason to flirt?_  
_if its just cause fef broke up with me…_  
_am i really that pitiful?_

__

“Yeah, you, me, Kan and Nep could only ever recall the trollverse. There, none of this exists but as a distant planet.” You agree. “I don’t understand what’s up with Gam, but I’m sure there is some explanation….”

_:o(_  
_KaRbRo Is Up AnD bEiNg ShOuTy_  
_IlL mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChAt At YoU lAtEr_  
_:o)_

You put your phone in your pocket, turning your attention to Feferi as she gazes at the castle, unspoken words between you.

“You know, when my mother died she left a note.” She breaks the silence that had grown, you watching the waves and she working on the castle. “I don’t know if even Cronus knows but… One of the things that she mentioned was my father. I recall asking her about him when I was younger. She gave me stories of me coming from the sea and calling us sea royalty that I put it to the side for a long time after that. I liked the idea of coming from the sea. It made sense with the dreams and with my now dead lusus. But, she told me the truth in her letter. And I’m starting to wonder if maybe… If maybe that subconscious knowing leaked into my other self. If that’s why I pulled away, even before I actually knew.”

You let her fade back into thought, your knees pulled to your chest. You let the silence lengthen before you make a small nod. “And?” You press, ever so gently so as to not scare Feferi away from the topic.

You hear paper crinkling and when you look over, there’s a worn piece of paper in her hand. “This is what she said...this is what I got that confirmed that it was suicide. ‘My dearest Feferi, there are so many things I wish I could have changed. When you were younger, I spoke about coming from the sea, emerging from the depths and just being. But, the truth is...Cronus Ampora is your father. I had confirmed it when you were only a couple weeks old. It was in that time that I had been debating about adoption. But you were my miracle child. He had a one year old son, that you know well. Eridan, he would be your half brother. It was shortly after his mother’s death that I saw Cronus and we had a fling. Later, we did marry and I was happy for a short time. But there is a bit of truth to coming from the ocean. You hold your dreams so close to your heart. I flung mine into the void and ran as far as I could when I was younger. I feel the drag of the ocean even more so after my other self died. There are things beyond our control. It was such a small portion of my life… I was adopted out when I was several weeks old myself. The man and woman that raised me were so loving. But the press of the ocean calls me and I cannot continue to stand. I’m sorry that I couldn’t have done betta for you. Even when Cronus and I got married, I didn’t let him know. The other note enclosed is for him… Please know that I have countless sorrows that I don’t want to pass on to you. Do swell in school, get your feeding. But know I love you. Your mother, Meenah. I’m sorry.’” Feferi clears her throat and when you look over, you can see tears in her eyes.

You raise a hand and rest it on her shoulder before you pull her into a hug, letting her cry. You don’t say anything, chewing on the inside of your cheek in thought before she finally lets out a small laugh.

“You always teased that I was your sister,” she giggles, her voice strained. “But…”

“Even if we aren’t related in the trollverse, I understand the want to not continue a pale relationship.” You say and you can feel the pain all over again. You wouldn’t remember this there, but still it would probably hurt. “I’m okay with Kar being the go between. I would rather not flip black either, I would hate how Sol would take to that. I don’t think fried fish is good for anyone.”

“Probably be miserable.” Feferi agrees and hugs you again. “Thank you, for understanding.”

“It’s what’s best,” you say and you hear your phone buzz in your pocket. “Friends, ashen, whatever it takes to make the empire run. I’ll stand by your side.”

“Yes,” Feferi agrees and smiles at you and you smile back. You turn to the castle, nudging out a tower with your foot and receiving a playful smack from Feferi. “Karkrab’s not here to keep you in line,” she sighs.

“Keep me in line? I didn’t publicly break up and then ask someone to fill the ashen quadrant.” You point out. “If anything, you’re the one that needs to be kept in line. Aradia is going to have her hands full with you.”

“She’ll be fine,” Feferi promises and you nod, pulling away and answering your phone.

“Hello?” You ask, frowning.

“What the everloving flying fuck am I going to do with you two?” The voice demands. “How did you get Gamzee’s number? Can’t I stay fish free for more of my pathetic, short lived life on earth? Must you constantly swim into my life and make me remember every little detail of all the shit you put me through Eridan?”

“Hello Kar,” you say with a groan, laying down on the sand as you listen to the waves. “For your information, Gam gave it to me last night, before he went to sleep. And, keep in mind that Fef and I only need you on Alternia. No need to call me so early in the morning… Which, now… How did you get the number?”

You glance at your phone when there’s another buzz, pulling it away to read the short message.

_KaRbRo ToOk YoUr NuMbEr  
SoRrY :o(_

“Gamzee,” you and Karkat say at the time time, Feferi laughing next to you, tears and pain still present in her eyes from the note.

***

You lay on your stomach as you listen to Karkat, your eyes closed. Finally the noise of Karkat gets too be nearly too much and you get up, walking over and gentle pry his phone from his ear, tapping your own temple.

“Hey Eribro, Karbro is gonna up and call you back.” You say, not letting him answer as you hang up, tucking the phone into your pocket, meeting Karkat’s angry gaze.

“You’re going to tell me what you know.” Karkat says, his arms crossed. “And give me back my phone.”

“That may take a long motherfucking time,” you say, folding back up on the bed. “But, I can start with something up and motherfucking simple as far as explanations go. Meditation,”

“Meditation?” Karkat asks, still standing at the foot of the bed, by the door that-

He jumps when it opens and you wave at Sollux, the brown haired man stopping when he nearly runs into Karkat. “Did I interrupt something?” He asks and you shake your head as Karkat nods. You smile as Karkat shoots you a glare.

“No, you aren’t. Come on in,” you say.

“Yes, you are,” Karkat retorts and you chuckle. Always so obstinate and willing to argue.

“Usually I’m the one that goes against what the other person says.” Sollux says and steps in fully, shutting the door. “Dave dropped me off, has an eight am meeting to make. I’m going to make coffee.” He steps past Karkat, hugging the shorter man and kissing his hair before continuing on through to the kitchen.

“This concerns Sollux too,” you say, reading Karkat’s face and raising your hand to take his and pull him onto the bed.

“Okay?” Sollux asks, turning to look at you from where he was starting up the coffee pot, a gift from Sollux to Karkat after finding a trash can full of gas station coffee cups. “Wait, what concerns me?”

“He has the same types of dreams I do.” Karkat says.

“Not quite the same dreams. It’s different. As I was saying, the faith I practice up and had me meditating since I was a little kid.” You say, taking both of the phones from your pocket and setting them on the table to your left. It wouldn’t help if you or Karkat got distracted.

Sollux raises an eyebrow, bringing over Karkat and himself cups of coffee as you nod at him.

“Phone on the table too,” you say.

“But-” Sollux begins.

You turn, leveling an ice cold stare at him. “I’m going to up and impart some motherfucking important messages. The least you can do is humor me Captor,”

Karkat glances at you in wonder as you push aside the rage and let the calmness recollect yourself. No need to let it control you now. Sollux pats his pockets, raising an eyebrow before frowning as he takes the chair and turns it so he could face you and Karkat while you talk. “Doesn’t matter, I left my phone in Dave’s car. Which reminds me that I need you to text him later KK, so I can ask him to drop it off when he has a chance.”

“I learned about the other worlds when I was no more than five or six, maybe younger. In truth, I had been having dreams of this world as long as I could remember while I was on Alternia. Perigees waiting for my lusus to come back, filling my time with remembering here. When I really got to meditating, I found that I could interact in both places.” You glance at Karkat, looking at his stunned face.

“So you share the same dream world that KK does?” Sollux asks finally, trying to process the information.

“I’m up and guessing that you’ll remember this and approach me when we wake in the evening.” You say, turning your attention to Sollux, keeping your attention divided between the two. “The worlds are coming to a head. I’ve been watching it for a while. There’s twelve of us, in total, that walk both worlds. There’s more to it than that, but it would...”

Karkat frowns, waving a hand in front of your face as you zone out, unable to find the words needed.

“Has he lost it?” Sollux whisper, leaning over to Karkat and glancing at you.

“I would say yes, but I don’t think so.” Karkat whispers back and you snap back to attention, shaking your head and glancing between Sollux and Karkat.

“Something happened, years ago.” You say and take a breath, finding the path you needed. “Something that caused a tear in the fabric that we weave our own motherfucking selves through. When gods meet, worlds collide.” You breathe, gaze snapping to the door as there was a knock.

You stand before the others could and move. The others seem frozen as you make your way and open the door, meeting the red eyes of Strider.

“Hey Vantas, I think your pet clown has gone rabid,” Dave says taking a step back as you stare at him, eyes boring into his.

“Want a cup of coffee?” You ask, your usual smile taking up your face as you step away from the door, beckoning Dave in.

“My eight o’clock cancelled and Sollux left his phone in my car.” Dave says, glancing over at Sollux’s confused face. “Did I...come at a bad time?”

“No,” Karkat says and tugs you back to the bed. You flop down, arranging yourself to lay on your stomach once more. You flip onto your back after a moment before sitting cross legged, back against the wall. “We were just talking about dreams and worlds that don’t exist, right?”

“Nah bro, they all motherfucking exist.” You say and meet his gaze, a smile crossing your mouth, tugging at the scars. “And they up and are starting to mirror each other. Time is coming to an end, one way or another.”

“I think I’ll take that cup of coffee,” Dave decides and walks in, shutting the door and claiming the last clean cup and the rest of the coffee before sitting down, looking at the others before letting his gaze stop at you. “So, tell me about this dream world.” He prompts and both you and Karkat start talking, tales weaving in and out of each other while Sollux and Dave listen on.

You grin as you watch Dave’s face slowly move from stoic to shocked as you two talk. And as you weave details in, you find yourself amused by the reactions taking over his and Sollux’s faces.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeep, bringing in the kids.
> 
> So this is actually post-grub, who knew? I didn't know until...chapter twenty two?
> 
> Yep, this fanfic is throwing punches left and right that I would have never been able to guess at. Who knew?

“Rose, we have a problem the size of fucking Texas,”

You’re sitting in front of your computer, the curtains pulled shut to block out any unwanted street light from coming in. You had been sitting at your computer for hours now, staring at the blank pesterchum message box before you decided to just call Rose, at a loss of what to do.

“Dave, do you know what time it is?” Rose asks upon answering and she sounds tired. You feel bad for waking her, but you couldn't hold it against yourself now.

“It is exactly 11:58 and 44, 45, 46… in the evening. Oh, you get the point.” You say and you run a hand through your hair. Sollux had passed out in your shared bedroom while you had closed yourself off in your office at four in the afternoon, claiming you had work to do. That had been shortly after you got back from Karkat and Gamzee's and you had been running every single detail that they had told you through your mind and trying to figure out what it meant.

So far, you had come up with: You were fucked.

“Yes, that is my point. It’s midnight Dave. What has you so…” You can hear Rose frown as she stops, Kanaya's voice barely audible before you hear her response to whatever had been asked. “No Kanaya, I’ll step outside. Go back to bed dear,” and you hear a door to the bedroom close.

“Karkat’s pet clown,” you say, unable to come up with anything else.

“I am sure if there is a need, Kanaya would be more than willing to chainsaw him in half.” Rose jokes and you can tell she’s outside. 

"He remembers shit Rose," you say, voice deadpan.

“Is this a conversation better suited for a bar and us being face to face?” She asks, her tone just as serious.

“I need Jade or John to answer their messages first." You retort back.

“If you messaged them, instead of staring at a box, they may actually answer brother.” Rose replies and you groan. “Do we need to get everyone together?” She presses once more and you rub your eyes, your shades discarded to the side.

“I have no idea where Jake and Dirk are.” You say after a moment.

“Roxy and John should be home. They both had work this week. But, we can pull everyone together with Jade’s help. How pressing of a matter is this?” Rose asks and you can hear her the resolved tone of her voice. Even if you wanted to back out now, you wouldn't be able to. “Never mind, I see. You contact John, I will get ahold of Jade. Have you known about any of these dreams for long?”

“No, and Jane?” You ask, chewing on your lip as you message John, giving him the name of the bar they would meet up at and telling him it was urgent. It didn't matter if you didn't get a response, you expected him to show up anyway. They all would, regardless of place of being.

“Last I heard, she was with Jane. The two have been getting on quite well, from what I hear.” Rose replied. “We are meeting at The Three Winds?”

“Yes, already told John.” You say, relieved when you got a grumpy but confirmed yes that John and Roxy would meet you there shortly.

“How many do you think remember?” Rose asks after a moment. “I can’t seem...to come up with a number. It's blank, how strange.”

“Karkat’s pet clown.” You say. “He and Karkat were having a conversation when I dropped off Sollux and the fucker left his phone in my car. I dropped it off and got roped into a conversation that had details that… Even if they do remember the second life, there was no way Gamzee should have known these details.”

“Such as?” Rose presses while you change and take the only exit to you at the moment: Out the window. You throw it open and close it behind you, a process you had once mastered just in case you needed to run from anyone.

“Details that should, on all basis of the fucking meaning, that should have been erased from their thick skinned thinkpans. They weren't prominent, but Gamzee found a way to weave the aspects and classes into it, alluding to...something more. He also mentioned meditation being how he learned this?” You say and float down the sidewalk, scaring the shit out of your neighbor's dog. You raise an eyebrow, putting your shades on and deciding to ignore it for now.

“Aspects and classes...Of the game?”

“Yes Rose, of the game.” You say with a roll of your eyes. “If he goes killer clown, please-” you turn as you hear footsteps, nodding at Rose and putting your phone in your pocket. “Make Kanaya promise to kill him. I don’t want to deal with another fucking murder clown rage that will be bad for everyone.”

“Good evening Dave, fancy meeting you here.” Rose says, tucking away her own phone. She’s in a simple shirt and pants, a coat thrown over it. It’s cold, even for summer and you glance up at the sky to see the storm rolling in. “Jade will collect the others and meet us at The Three Winds. I did not think a Bard of Rage would have such a powerful hold over memory. Here comes John,”

You look up when you feel a gust of wind and smile as John steps in front of you, Roxy on his arm. The girl moves forward, throwing her arms around Rose in a greeting as you nod at John, hands in your pockets. One of them has a tight grip on your phone and you feel terrible for leaving Sollux alone after promising him you would come to bed once you were finished with work. You would make it up to him.

It doesn’t take long for your group to get to The Three Winds and request the private back room from the bartender, who looks you over and nods. She offers you a smile and points out your waiter for the night. You gesture the other three to the room and turn to the bartender.

“Hey, there’s going to be four other people arriving shortly. They should come through the front door. If they ask for Dave Strider, direct them our way.” You say.

“Of course Mr. Strider,” she says and you slip her a tip before making your way to the room and locking it behind you. You didn't want the waiter coming in yet, there was still too much to process.

“Dave!” Roxy says, hugging you before you get a chance to sit down. “I was just telling Rosey that it’s been far too long since we’ve all met up!”

“Yeah, what’s up with the emergency midnight meeting?” John asks and you sit down in a chair, unsure of where to begin.

“I believe it would be wise to wait until the other four show up as well. Having to explain it more than once may get convoluted.” Rose says, sitting straight as she looks at John and Roxy. “How are you two doing?”

“Doing well,” John says with a nod. “I’ve been helping out with children and generally just having fun travelling. I do have work in the morning at the hospital...”

“I’ve been hanging around with John,” Roxy says, a smile in her eyes as she glances at him. You get up when there’s a knock, letting in the other four, Dirk and Jake look extremely confused as they look around the room before taking seats, Jade turning her gaze on you as Jane all but collapses into a chair with a yawn.

“Do you know what time it is Strider?” Jade demands, hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised. She's wearing her godtier and you feel the need to change as well, but decide against it.

“Twelve oh five am,” you say and are impressed that everyone managed to get here in such a short amount of time. “But, look, normally I wouldn’t bother with this thing. I would have alerted everyone in my own time. But I think there is an actual problem the size of fucking Texas hurtling towards us.”

“Is it a meteor the size of Texas?” John asks, raising his hand and you laugh at the reference that happened so long ago.

“Maybe the size of fucking Jupiter and we can’t get ahold of the fucking president to get things sorted out. We’re on our own, in our own ship, hurtling at the speed of light to a destination that will cause us all to fucking explode because we’re riding the meteor ship towards this path. That’s not a thing you can compare the size of to tell the President, but shit is going down.” You say and high five John as he laughs.

Jade sits in your discarded chair, pulling her hood down and you turn, eyes serious, as you look at the group.

“We wouldn’t have called you here if I didn’t think were an actual problem.” Rose says, beating you to the punch. "We know how Dave can distort the truth to fit his needs."

“Yes, I would golly hope not seeing the time.” Jane says, her gaze darting around as Dirk turns to look at you, pushing his shades up onto his head, an unreadable question that you barely catch passing through his eyes.

“The trolls are starting to remember.” You say after a moment, raising a hand before they could speak. You need to get your piece out. “Not the whole thing, but parts of it. There’s not a whole lot that I know yet, but we need to work on what will happen when they do remember.”

“What do you mean?” Jake asks, leaning forward in his seat on the couch.

"There's a chance that, with each of them remembering, it'll cause them to descend into madness." Rose says, her gaze sweeping over those present. "Or cause us our own issues. My girlfriend has never expressed such concerns to me... But it doesn't mean that she won't,"

"And the world we created?" Jane asks, gesturing around vaguely. "What's the chances that it will collapse if they remember?"

"The game gave us a chance to create a new world, but it didn't go as originally expected." Rose says, moving forward and looking at Jane before looking at everyone else. "We were expecting the trolls to come through with us, not be given a choice. As it stands, they are still moving in both...universes if my understand is correct. We severe that cut, and it could be possible both universes continue or neither. But we won't know what the price is."

"Time," you say after a moment. "They, even the ones that died before we got to the new world, were offered time. Isn't that how Karkat put it before they made the decision? Most of you have managed to stay away from the trolls-"

"Aren't you two dating some of them?" Dirk asks in amusement, glancing between yourself and Rose.

"Yes, that is besides the point." Rose says, straightening and turning to look at Dirk. "Matters of the heart that have a strange way of repeating themselves. To me, they have been a void spot for as long as I could remember on this planet. I can look at any other person and see the possibilities, but not them. There are no paths laid out."

"There's a wedding come up," Jake says after a moment. "For Aradia, I know her through several different historical sites she was studying and I was exploring. She invited me and Dirk along. Wasn't she the maid of time that stayed behind?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. I met her briefly and she wanted to throw a corpse party. Now that you mention it... Huh, Sollux says that he and his partners got invited as well, unless there happens to be another Aradia Medigo on this planet." You say. "I was going to tag along."

"Kanaya was likewise invited, even did the wedding dress for Aradia." Rose responds.

"I talk to Tavros on occasion regarding animal care. He has an interest in animals that have similar natures to lusii that were left from Jake's planet. He invited myself and Jane." Jade said with a frown.

"Is it Aradia...Medigo?" Roxy asks. "I'm going to be the officiator for an Aradia Medigo in two weeks. She even said I could bring John along. Seemed really happy when we both agreed."

"Is that...something that we can overlook?" You ask, pressing your hands to the table. Several of your friends jump when there is a knock on the door. You walk over, letting the waitress in. "Drinks are on me tonight," you say. It was going to be a pretty expensive night, but there were plans to be made.

There's a chorus of answers for different drinks and the waitress raises an eyebrow but takes everything down, promising to return as soon as possible. You shut the door, turning your attention back to the group.

"Are we in jeopardy if they find out the truth?" You ask finally, tearing your attention between Jade and Rose.

"No," they say together and Jane stands to continue her thought.

"It would mean breaking the two realities." She says, brushing her hands on her skirt. "The two lives they live would separate and become their own things... Their lives would separate from each other. I don't think it would do lasting harm. And, if it does, we may be able to repair it. But we would have to retreat with them to our safe place. We haven't done that because..."

"We were keeping an eye on them in case it was possible that they showed up." Dirk says. "And they have,"

"But here they would know everything." John interjects. "I mean, they would know about the game and we would get our friends back. They would even be able to remember what they had before."

"Yes, but at what cost?" Jake asks, frowning. His chin is in the palm of his hand, his eyes narrowed in thought. "We're talking about beings whose souls ride the seams... If we break it, what hope would that leave them? What if they find these dreams as a place to retreat?"

"Their lifespans would waver as they get on in their years." Jane says after a moment, her eyes closed as she concentrated. "It's hard, I haven't seen them in a while. But they were born all within three years of each other. As they age, they would simply stop. That's the effects of the game. And of being brought back."

"Would they manifest into trolls here?" Roxy asks. "Or would they remain human?"

John frowns, following the conversation before letting out a little huff. "They would be a mix, wouldn't they Rose?"

"They would have their memories of the game, their old lives, but not the ones they live in the dreams. Those that died would know. Their doomed timeline selves may offer their own memories as well." Rose frowns, Jane nodding along with the diagnosis.

"But they wouldn't look like trolls. We were never able to breed trolls properly without Kanaya's help." Jane says, opening her eyes and looking at them. "And besides, I don't want to have to deal with another Condesce troll for as long as I can avoid it." And Jade nods in agreement, meeting Jane's eyes.

"I think it's time then," you say, voice somber. "This world is fucked up enough, but I want to have my friends remember the game that we fought through. It's hard some days, seeing Karkat... It's frustrating as well."

"Then distance yourself from them." Jade suggests, voice softer than it had been earlier. "Karkat was always so rude anyway." This was more teasing than anything and you take a moment to calm the first response you want to fling at her. They had all grieved when they found that the trolls hadn't come through with them, despite the life that Jane had passed on to bring everyone back. It had hurt, the first few hundred years. And then when you saw Sollux while you were out at a store, you had faked records and gone back to junior high. Just to find them again.

"I tried," you say and Rose nods, both of you having known what it was like to see someone that you once knew. You two had spent more time among the trolls and there were days were you even missed Terezi. But you had been happy to just be friends with Sollux and escatic later when he asked you out on a date in his own douche way with a virus on your computer. You smile at the thought, wishing you had known him before he stayed with Aradia in the furthest ring.

"I felt drawn to Kanaya, like a moth to light." Rose sighs. The conversation lulls as two waitresses come in with the assembled drinks, passing them out. You take your own, raising it to the others and taking a long swig. Over the years, you had all found what you could safely drink and not have effect you. And over the years, each of you had built up a strong alcohol intolerance. It had made going through high school a lot more interesting, not that you had gotten a chance before.

"Would they be upset that we created a world without trolls?" John asks after a moment, Roxy frowning.

"We tried, remember?" Jake says, eyes wide at the thought. "But we weren't able to keep the mother grub mature and when Jade found Alternia..."

"They have their own home. Maybe we can even show them a bit of Alternia if they get too worried." Jane agrees. "But, it feels right to let the burdens loosen around them. They deserve better."

"But that begs the question... What brought this up Dave?" Roxy asks, turning her piercing pink eyes on you and you swallow, running a hand through your hair and adjusting your shades. You had talked to Roxy before, about seeing if Sollux would remember if you just told him, but she always managed to talk you out of it. Usually with really good logic you didn't understand until later.

"I dropped Sollux off at Karkat's house, he left his phone in my car. So I cancelled my eight am meeting... Fuck, I rescheduled that for tomorrow morning this morning...whatever. Anyway, when I showed back up, Gamzee was having story time. So I sat in and... Both Karkat and him have been having dreams of the troll world for years. They're not the only ones either." You point out. You sit, taking your second drink and nursing it, not wanting to call a waitress back yet. "Sollux has told Karkat in the dreams that he dreams of the human world while he's sleeping there."

"That sounds like a lot of confusing information to keep straight." John says finally, cutting through the building quiet. "Having a troll tell another troll that they have dreams of a human world...And that troll just so happens to be able to remember the troll telling him that while he's awake and being human..."

"I know," you say with a nod. Even you hadn't been able to follow along too well and had asked Karkat and Gamzee as many questions as you thought they would put up with.

"Can we prepare everything needed to severe the intertwined connections in two weeks?" Rose asks, glancing around those assembled. You can't remember the last time all eight of you stood in a room. The thought made your heart ache as you take another drink.

It had been shortly after you realized that maturing a mother grub on earth was nearly impossible. The thought makes you swallow, unwilling to set aside your current stoic mask.

And so you stayed in that room, ordering drinks and preparing plans until you had to leave at seven in the morning, sending Sollux a hazy message saying you had an early meeting and would be back. 

Rose had promised on sending you updates as soon as more plans were finalized. You hadn't wanted to leave, but you couldn't really miss out on another interview for the launch of your shitty, ironic movie coming out in a week.

Your head throbs, maybe that last drink hadn't been such a great idea, and you walk to your meeting, the cool morning air helping clean your head. Later, you would fly home and spend some much needed time with Sollux. Let Rose take control for the moment and figure everything out. You just wanted to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but there's probably only going to be a couple more of the trolls themselves before ending with the humans and wrapping up this segment.
> 
> Depending on how things go, there should be a few more to the series, expanding on life under Feferi's reign, how everything ends up set up, and just general building stronger relationships and how a troll might bet bored of the same thing for hundreds of sweeps.

You hunch over the book, reading through the history, gaze darting quickly over the words before the door opens. There's a word of annoyance coming to mind before you glance up, seeing who walked through. Gamzee is shuffling into the room, his eyes darting around before he finds you where he had left you the night prior.

"Hey Gam, need me to check you out?" You ask, setting your book to the side. You had stayed up early into the morning and ended up passing out on the couch. You can't recall any dayterrors and count yourself lucky. The descriptions you had heard from other trolls about not sleeping in sopor had made you be cautious when you were younger.

"Yeah," he says and you get up to take a closer look at him. He sits in a chair while you pull up medic information on your palmhusk, having already checked your messages. Karkat had seen that Feferi received a full, detailed report from the night prior and copied you on it.

You set the palmhusk aside, walking over to Gamzee. As gently as you could muster, you began feeling the broken bones in the shoulder. You hear him take a breath before steadying himself and you're, inwardly, amazed at his resistance to the pain.

"It should heal within a perigee, maybe half a perigee if you're lucky, dependin on the amount of stress you put on your shoulder." You say after a moment, noting that Gamzee was still wearing the makeshift sling you had made. It made you happy to see him being careful with his injuries.

"Thanks," he says, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. Already the scratches were forming into scars. You reach out without thinking and stop when his hand reaches out on instinct to grab your wrist. "Sorry," he mumbles, dropping his arm as you shake your head.

You were startled by the action and felt awkward as you shuffle to the side, unsure of what to stay.

"I just need to go over the cuts." You say finally, turning away and grabbing a clean cloth and the disinfectant fluid. "Unless you want to do it?"

"Nah bro, I'm up and okay with you motherfucking doing it," he says. He opens an eye as you move about, your cape having been left on the couch as you turn back to him. "Were you reading all day?" He asks, taking in the sight of the books on the couch and the side table. You had put the ones of most interest on the left side of the table, the ones of least value to the right.

"No, I fell asleep around midday," you protest and take a breath, steadying your hand as you clean the cuts on his face. Your thoughts turn to the discussion from the early morning hours. You step back, setting the items to the side. "I have to ask..."

"Hmm?" Gamzee asks, opening his eyes and looking at you. This is the most sedated you had seen Gamzee in a long time. That included when you first ran across him in person on the beach. You were hunting for Feferi's lusus one last time and had seen him, staring into the waves and watching them. It had been just before sunrise and he caught your eye. Your first reaction had been to fight, he had seemed mad when he saw you dragging the seagoat... Had been about to attack, but just asked for a moment with the corpse before letting you go with it.

You had later received a message on Trollian from him, asking if that had been you with his lusus and you felt bad, but told him the truth anyway. It wouldn't have done you well to lie to him.

"Nevermind," you say after a moment. "I should find Kar and Sol..."

"Don't be starting a hate date on my ship. Some of the other subjugglators may find it a suggestion to start an actual fight." Gamzee suggests, closing his eyes again. You notice he's not wearing his usual face paint, that he's still dressed in night clothes and you have to remind yourself that this was his set of blocks that you had passed out in. "What's rattling around in your pan?"

"Thinkin I need to take my own advice," you say after a moment, sitting back on the couch, pulling the cap onto your lap. It had originally been a blanket from your wriggler days and your Lusus had it fashioned into a cape. You still loved it and would have to ask Kanaya to fix the slight tear in the shoulder.

"Which piece?" Gamzee asks, clearly amused. His eyes are open and he's staring at you. You glance away, the stare making you feel naked in front of him.

"The moirail one," you say finally. "I guess...I knew what was coming with Fef long before I wanted to admit it. I never pressed hard enough, never got my own fair share. I can't image the stresses that she must shoulder every night. I was there when she broke down, a shoulder to cry on, but I wasn't emotionally there." You're pulling your cape around your shoulders, hiding your face as best as you could while you talk. It's almost too much to bear.

"I'm going to be all sorts of motherfucking truthful with you." Gamzee says after a moment, getting up to walk while he speaks. "You have your own motherfucking weight on your shoulders, but I've felt.... Pale for you for a couple of sweeps now. I never acted on it, never told anyone, cause of Fishsis. I didn't want to up and get between you two. But it feels...right to tell you. Knew before Goatdad was up and culled for fish food."

"I..." You glance up at him, unsure what to say. "I am sorry about Goatdad," you finish.

"I know and you don't have to up and answer me now." He says, raising his good hand. "You up and got ashen with Fishsis yesterday, but if you need a sponge clot to listen to you..."

"I think I would like it," you say finally, surprising yourself. But it was worth it to see the flash of excitement across Gamzee's face. "But what was the deal with the number last morning?"

"Oh, the message came through. I can up and explain it at you later, if you still be wanting to know." Gamzee says vaguely. "It's official then?"

"Yes, moirails?" You ask, finding a relief as Gamzee nods and settles next to you. It felt more natural than anything you had with Feferi in ages and you relax, leaning your head on Gamzee's good shoulder. He loops his arm around you, pulling you to his chest and you take a breath, untangling your cap and offering it as a shared blanket. He takes it, draping it around you both.

"Pale for you," Gamzee says, his fingers running through your hair, coming it back. "And you, bro, need to up and get some more rest tonight."

You laugh but nod in agreement, eyes closed. You could stay like this for another few minutes. "The ship is getting closer to Fef's. We'll be able to hop on the ship we took over and return with the others before the night is out."

"I'll let Bloodsis know that I'm absconding to speak with the Empress." Gamzee says. "But that can be done in a few minutes..."

***

"Have you talked to GZ and ED this morning?" You ask, turning your gaze on Karkat.

The shorter troll is stressing as you reach up, taking hold of his hand to stop him pacing. "You think I can ask that when what you told me is so mind numbingly dense that I have-"

"Shoosh," You say, pulling Karkat onto your lap. It's a mess of limbs for a moment before you scoot further back in the chair so you both can fit. "We're actively heading back to the main ship. We should be back tomorrow night... Which means you need a hate date with Kanaya."

"What does Kanaya have to do with this?" Karkat snaps and you sigh, patting his cheek gently. You loop your free arm around his waist, keeping him still for as long as you can.

"KK, you're stressed, and you need an outlet. Go get into a good, rousing fight with Kanaya and see how you feel afterwards. Let out some of the energy you're bounding up in your movements." You say. "But now, you are going to sit right here until you calm down enough. I don't understand why you are so angry about the dream. You asked me to keep you in the loop, on both ends, as long as you do the same. I am doing that. What's wrong KK?"

"Gamzee," Karkat says after a moment.

“Is it because what I told you?” You press after a moment, keeping hold of Karkat as he squirms, not willing to let him go. You try to piece together the puzzle, biting your own lip.

“That he’s going to get bloodthirsty and kill our friends again.” Karkat snaps his mouth shut, gaze uncertain. “Not that...he’s killed our friends? But...what if he goes bloodthirsty?”

“Not to my knowledge?” You say. “Why do you think he would go bloodthirsty?”

“When he was fighting The Grand Highblood, I got the...strongest sense of déjà vu.” Karkat says and stops trying to get away from you, resigned that you would resort to your powers if you had to. “Like the fight before... But it was also different trolls. And… Have you ever had an image overlay another image?”

“Yeah,” you say with a nod. It had been a favorite game of yours when you were younger.

“It was like that.” He says finally. “It was...it was like watching the whole thing from two different point of views and seeing something that wasn’t there. It scared the shit out of me. And then he comes out, smiling and just generally... Fuck,” Karkat drags a hand over his face and you purse your lips, resting your free hand on his shoulder. His back is to you and you feel comfortable this way.

“You recognize the name Dave Strider. Does that have anything to do with...Gamzee murdering our friends?” You ask finally. You had seen his face when you told him the full story from earlier this morning. He had frozen, then acted like someone had dumped water on him.

“I shouldn’t, but I do.” Karkat agrees, sinking back into you. You adjust yourself, resting your chin on his shoulder thoughtfully. “It’s not a troll name, or a title.” He adjusts himself, hands on the arms of the chair as he thinks.

“No, he’s a human.” You agree. “We, well you, can ask him questions if you remember in the morning. See if he knows about us trolls. Or do you think you're just remembering dreams about a human life, like me?”

“Do you know of any other trolls who have dreams like you?” Karkat asks, turning around to look at you. You stare at the red eyes, turning the thought over slowly.

“There’s a couple. Gamzee, if the dream yesterday told me anything. But you were talking to Dave about it too,” you say finally. “I wouldn’t be surprised if us twelve have something similar. Dreams of being trolls, dreams of being human… The twelve of us are destined for something. Probably death, but something that lets fate twist us together and dance on its strings.”

“Are you picking up some twisted faith that I should be aware of?” Karkat asks, not sounding impressed.

“No, but the voices of the soon to be dead are back.” You mutter. “They went away some three sweeps ago. They’ve come back with a vengeance recently. And fuck, I wish they had stayed quiet.”

“Why would they come back? Why didn't you tell me sooner you idiot?” Karkat asks, eyeing you worriedly.

“They started returning, slowly but surely, about…three perigee ago.” You close your eyes to pick out the date, opening them again. “Mostly when I’m sitting in silence, which was rare enough. I really noticed it when we helped the…my ancestor. I don’t get why they decided to speak back up. I've been able to pick out voices since that night, but before that it was an undercurrent of murmuring that was too hard to focus on.”

“We’re dealing with a larger group of trolls.” Karkat says, still keeping worried eyes on you. “Any voices that you recognize feeling the need to speak up?”

“None of us,” You admit. “I don't hear any familiar voices yet, but I would know ours. As far as I’m aware, we’re not even in the soon to die voice group. When I was younger, I could hear a distant voice that I found to be Feferi's, but now I can't even hear her's.”

“Have you heard any others of us?” Karkat asks.

“When I was young. It was different from those about to die though. It’s how I ended up reaching out to most of you. I heard...us calling out to each other. Like, if we found each other, we would be safe. It didn’t make sense. And then the voices just...died out completely when I was six sweeps. I don’t understand why they would come back now, after all this time.” You push aside the forming migraine, knowing that it would put you down for a couple nights. No need to acknowledge it just yet.

"Is there anything-" Karkat jumps off of your lap when there’s a knock and you look over as he answers, catching sight of Eridan with a roll of your eyes.

“We’re close enough to jump on the small ship and go back to Fef’s ship to give an in person report.” Eridan says, throwing his scarf over his neck. You look him over, almost wanting to ask what happened to his cape but deciding against it. “And when we get back to the ship, I’m taking you on a pitch date.” He directs this at you and you raise an eyebrow, tipping your head to the side.

“Oh? I am really wishing it could be now, since you interrupted me and KK.” You ask, a mischievous look in your eyes. “What’s on the table?”

“It’s a secret,” Eridan says with a grin, gaze sweeping to Karkat. "Sorry for interrupting Kar,"

"Just make sure I get him back in one piece." Karkat observes, stretching out and taking a step further from you. Your makeshift pile session would have to be put on hold for now. The thought irritates you, but you would take it out on Eridan later.

"Of course," Eridan says and you roll your eyes, wheeling the chair over to the desk you had claimed it from.

"Anything else you want to bother us with your presence for?" You ask, annoyance seeping into your voice.

"Yes, actually. We're leaving now." Eridan says. "So gather your shit and let's go."

"Someone woke up grumpy," you grin. You get up, grabbing your small husktop. You had been doing work earlier when Karkat had woken up. You hadn't made much headway, but you had started on what Feferi asked of you. You had no intention of letting her down.

"I didn't wake up grumpy, I just had the unpleasant luck of runnin across your face this early in the evenin," Eridan says, crossing his arms as Karkat groans.

"I'm not listening to your black flirting." He warns and you have the decency to nod and offer him a quick sorry. Karkat nods and pushes past Eridan, you moving to follow before Eridan stops you, his arm across the doorway. You weigh the actions of breaking his arm with your psionics before deciding against it for the moment.

"We'll be back on the main ship in two hours. In three, be ready for the date." He says, pulling away.

You tug on his scarf, meeting his gaze. "Why not make it four because I hate your face?" You ask, kissing him harshly before letting him go and following your moirail, who had met up with Gamzee in the hallway. Tonight would be a good night.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, brought to you by:
> 
> I have no fucking clue what this story is doing anymore.  
> I'm just writing it. Half this chapter wasn't even supposed to exist.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> It is also brought to you by my hatred of my desk job. I write and edit chapters more than anything during this job. This is why there is such a fast turn over of chapters.

You stand next to your matesprit, resting a hand on the edge of the throne as she stares at the gathered trolls. It's nearing morning and she had barely managed to pry Eridan and Sollux away from their hate date, threatening to send Karkat after them if they didn’t get with the program soon. Sollux, at least, had the nerve to look embarrassed while you spoke. Eridan simply seemed too pleased with himself. You smile at the memory as your fingers brush the covered cuts down your arm from where Karkat had surprised you when they returned early that evening.

Feferi had been excited that they returned so soon, having not expected them for another two nights. And you had returned the cuts in kind to Karkat, feeling it was only fair.

Feferi stands from her throne, trident held in her hand as she slams it against the floor, getting the attention of the trolls gathered. Eridan and the others that she has selected for her advisors ring around the throne behind her, impressive and imposing despite all of you still being under ten sweeps. Each is wearing an outfit you had made, though you regret being unable to replace Karkat’s cloak before the meeting. To you, it would have made him a more impressive figure but he claimed it made him look stupid.

“Good evening trolls of Alternia,” Feferi says, her voice ringing out in the room, the high ceilings echoing for a moment longer. Each ship had sent a troll for the meeting that Feferi is holding now. She looks over them, the room almost crammed full on the ship, her eyes catching sight of everyone below.

“It has been a long time since adult trolls were allowed to return to Alternia. But now, there is a decision to be made. With the death of Her Imperial Condescension, I will let any and every troll return to Alternia, as is our due right. Already, there have been those that have returned to land as I have began the process of recording any and every troll that returns. For those of you gathered, I would like to present my committee, my advisers. Yes, many of you will note that they span from the bottom to the top of the hemospectrum. These will be the trolls to work with me in the coming sweeps, as long as life grants them.

“No troll is worth more or less from another based on blood color. That is a ploy to keep those that needed repressed so my ancestor to keep an easier hold on her trolls. Often she was putting down rebellions such as The Signless and The Summoner who craved equality for those that were tormented under the highblood rule. Before we go any further tonight, let me introduce you to them in turn and tell you what they will be doing to better the lives of those that reside on Alternia. And to, briefly, touch upon those policies that will be changing under my own reign.

“Karkat Vantas, The Mediator. He will head a new group of threshecutioners; peace makers to work alongside the military and enforcers. He will hand pick the new group of threshecutioners and train them each personally until all reforms are set in place. Aradia Megido, The Wanderer. Studier of ancient life on Alternia and helping reconstruct new cities for every troll to live in. We need to study the past, learn from our mistakes. We will not forget the past in favor of a better future, for we will never get anywhere.

“Tavros Nitram, The Pathfinder. Working within the forests to create safe havens for trolls traveling from one city to the next. Making paths safe for anyone to walk on, regardless of blood color and age. This will be crucial when we begin our work on trade and travel between the new cities. No troll deserves to be caught out in the sun. We will make sure there is safe passage for all. Sollux Captor, the Cryptonic; the head of a new age of coding. No longer will our golden blood brothers and sisters be forced to use their powers to power ships. Let them use their psionics as they see fit to help those around them. Any questions regarding this or offering your own skills to each group can be directed to the individual troll after the meeting.” Feferi says, eyes sweeping over the group as several began to talk at once, her gaze silencing them.

You stand straighter, proud of your matesprit as the trolls back down before she begins talking once more.

“Nepeta Leijon, The Huntress. Provider of food and advice for those that travel from city to city. She will head a new system to provide for those that cannot hunt for themselves even, amongst the wild. Survival is needed for those that have not been on Alternia for sweeps to come. If we cannot work together, we cannot survive. Kanaya Maryam, The Caregiver. She will return to the brooding caves and help her enslaved sisters with with mother grubs, creating a stronger system for our grubs to survive and thrive. I will no longer have the jade bloods enslaved to the caverns, they will be offered freedom for their dedication and work. There is no reason that they, who can walk among the sun’s harsh rays, deserve to be bound in darkness until they die.”

She looks at you briefly and you smile back. She hadn’t told you prior, but it makes your pusher lift with happiness at the thought.

“Terezi Pyrope, the Liaison. She will head a new system of law, make it fair. We have too often culled the innocent simply because it was easier. These ideals will make us nothing but terrified of each other. I have seen how far my ancestor has spread us and no more will we fight to simply fight. We can use our strengths elsewhere than in bloodshed and horror. Argue as you will, but we will not bathe in blood simply to bathe in blood. Vriska Serket, the Affluent. Upon returning to Alternia, new trading and commerce systems will be put into place, run by her. They will connect everyone together and ensure that what is needed to live, jobs, produces, and the like, will be provided. We will be strong.

“Equius Zahhak, the Architect. Together, he and The Wanderer will help build the old cities anew so that we all have places to come and rest when we land. Already, old cities begin anew with those that went first. I plan on speaking with those that live there, learning where we can improve designs and make it better for all. Gamzee Makara, the Inkwell, leader of the Subjugglators. He promises to have places for them to worship on Alternia. They will work closely with the military as a secondary force. Anyone that tries to attack will be faced with our brutality, but we will not be ruled by it.

“Eridan Ampora, the Magician. He is the head of the military. There will be several bases, some in space to keep those that still wish to fight against us at bay, and those on the ground. As mentioned before, the Subjugglators will work with the military. Our military will work with a ground group, the enforcers and threshecutioners, to keep everyone safe. And I, Feferi Peixes, under the name The Benevolent, plan to offer peace until such time that I am either killed by an heiress or am ready to pass on what I know to my descendant. We can be a people worth protecting. I will have no needless bloodshed on my shores.

“I am vastly different from my ancestor, there is much to be said for that. But I believe that each of you have yearned for a planet you were forced to leave behind upon hitting ten sweeps. No longer will I allow my people to perish in space, to be separated from loved ones and home simply to make someone more compliant. We will be stronger than ever before. But we will be one united force, not scattered far apart. This, I will do until my dying breath and this, I promise you, will be the start of something better for everyone. Those that wish to speak up and try their hand against me are welcome to. However, I do ask that you look to a new future where we can be together.”

You turn your eyes to the room before you, listening to the silence. Time seems to slow as you do so, the trolls before you becoming frozen.

Aradia frowns, stepping forward and pressing a hand to Feferi’s shoulder. “Did you do something?” She asks, voice low.

“No,” Feferi responds, taking a tighter grip on her trident.

“It’s strange, this feels familiar.” You say and the twelve of you bunch together, you next to Feferi and Aradia on her other side. You feel Karkat besides you, and see Eridan and Gamzee move together. The other trolls were frozen and Sollux is starting to flash blue and red from gathered psionics.

Already your chainsaw is at the ready, Feferi locking her eyes on the mist in front of her. The air is still before you hear...something.

“Damn it Dave, you’re on my hood,” a voice complained.

“Don’t complain at me Egbert, Jade was the one that transported us here.” A second male voice responded and you narrow your eyes, revving the chainsaw.

“Show yourself,” Feferi commanded. “And give me a good reason that we do not kill you. You are trespassing on my ship!”

“Would we even die if they killed us? Would it be just since we just sorta...dropped in on their ship? I mean, trident chick has a point that we are trespassing. That’s not heroic.” The second male asks and you step forward before Feferi can make another statement.

“Wait, this won’t do at all. I’m sorry, please allow us to introduce ourselves.” Another voice says and before you stand four humans that you had heard of from descriptions of a planet far away. That you had overheard Aradia talking about when in a corner with Sollux.

“What the actual fuck?” Sollux mutters and you see his glow fade as he moves forward. “I’m not the only one seeing this, am I?” He asks and relaxes when others agree that they see it too. You hold your breath, eyes trained on them.

“Damn, I forgot how trolls actually look.” A red hooded man, the second male voice, says.

“We demand explanations.” You say, raising your chainsaw. The red hooded man raises his hands, taking a step back. They’re half way between you and the other trolls, their eyes locked on your weapons.

“Shit Kanaya, I remember you being chainsaw happy, but take it out on fish face again if you must. I much prefer being in one piece.” He says, hands still in the air. “Look, we don’t even happen to have weapons on us. No sword, see?”

“That’s a lie,” Gamzee says, voice low as he moves forward. “You don’t up and need motherfucking weapons to be able to fight.”

“Dave, it would be wise if you shut your face long enough for someone with the ability to communicate articulately with a violent species.” A woman in orange suggested. “I do not wish to have to have you gagged Dave, but I am sure Jade would not mind… Perhaps even send you back?”

“I can do that!” The dog eared woman said, turning a smile on Dave. “It would be simple, and I got good enough that you’ll be sent back in mostly one piece.”

“I just said I wanted to stay in one piece.” Dave groans, dropping his hands.

“Eridan?” Feferi says and, with a hand gesture from her, Eridan aims his gun just above the humans’ head and fires, the shot not harming anyone but gathering their attention. “You have landed on my ship, and I demand to have answers.” Feferi says, her gaze honing in on the humans before her. “Mainly, who are you? How do you know us? How do you come to be on our ship?”

“That...is not the batterwitch, right?” Dave asks, red eyes darting to John.

“The empress asked a question, it would be within your best wishes to answer.” You warn, a growl in your voice.

“Our names are Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, and John Egbert.” The woman wearing orange says, stepping forward and pointing out each of the four of them in conjunction with names. “We do not mean to intrude on your meeting, but it was in our best interests to speak with you sooner rather than later.”

“That’s not the Batterwitch. She was taller, and wore a lot more spandex.” John whispers back to Dave and Feferi lets out a laugh at the statement.

“My ancestor was indeed a fan of spandex.” She says. “But that means you have run into The Condesce. Who are you? She has been dead for over half a sweep now.”

“We already gave our names,” Dave says, his gaze sweeping over the trolls.

“We are...friends,” Rose says after a moment, nudging Dave and shooting him a glare. “We played a game together, a long time ago. Before these worlds started. We wanted to confirm that you were safe… That you were here.”

“Motherfuck,” Gamzee whispers and your attention snaps to him. He’s staring at the humans, hands shuffling to the pockets of his pants. “It’s all sorts of wicked motherfucking miracles in this ship.”

“Heh, you can say that again.” Sollux chuckles. “Hey Aradia, what do you think?”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Vriska whistles. “Who would have thought that the humans would find their way to us? Now, I don’t know them personally but...”

“I think there needs to be more discussion on the matter. We are confusing Feferi and it looks like Eridan is about to get trigger happy.” Aradia suggests, her maroon eyes sweeping the group of trolls.

“If it helps, time will restart once we leave. Those trolls won’t notice anything unless you suddenly aren’t in the room.” Dave says, hands in his pockets.

“How did you find us?” Aradia asks, resting a hand on Feferi’s wrist. It’s a gentle movement and you see Feferi relax.

“Gamzee, actually.” Dave says, pointing at the purple blood. He casts Dave a glare that you take note of before focusing on the words Dave was saying. “I got together the crew and we were talking and all realized we were being invited to your wedding.” He points at Aradia, the troll rolling her eyes.

“Whale, what’s a wedding?” Feferi asks, other trolls nodding along in agreement.

“The union of two people until death do them part.” Dave says, voice grave.

“They’re less exciting than corpse parties.” Aradia supplies.

“Your reason for coming?” You ask, stepping forward and feeling a hand on your shoulder, Karkat taking in a sharp hissing breath.

“Yeah, I figured that you didn’t exist in this universe.” Sollux comments.

“Some of you would have had dreams of being humans, right?” John asks, eyes bright as he looks over the trolls. “Well, Alternia and earth are on the same universe spectrum! Well, in the same universe.”

“John has it right, on a very minimal level.” Jade agrees and you clench your teeth, poised to attack before Feferi waves you down.

“Weapons away, we’ll hear what these...humans are you? Have to say to us.” Feferi says and sets her trident on the throne. “You obviously know some of us, and it even seems as if some of my advisors have passing knowledge of you. I want a full story before I allow you to leave my ship.”

“We would leave the same way we came.” Jade comments with a roll of her eyes. “It’s part of the powers that I have over space. You would be unable to track us, and you aren’t your ancestor. You wouldn’t track us down to kill us.”

“After this meeting, you will slowly forget about us.” Rose says, touching Jade’s shoulder. “We can explain as much as you want, but that is the bare facts. We have come to offer you a semblance of peace. We on earth never plan on attacking if you do not come after us.”

“We won’t,” Feferi says and you find yourself nodding along. “But you must promise to explain to us how you knew my ancestor and how you know us.”

“We played a game together, a long time ago.” John says, gesturing to his group while he speaks. “While playing the game, we met another group of people, trolls, who played the game and created our universe. Except our frog universe had cancer because Karkat didn’t take the frog breeding duties too seriously.”

You snort at that, feeling a clawed fist dig into your arm, breaking the skin under the sleeve.

“We scratched our session, joined up with you in the veil. However, events have that several of your team turned and killed each other. We never met Feferi, Eridan, Tavros, Nepeta, and Equius except in dream bubbles. That was their doomed timeline selves though… Oh, and the sprites our dancestors had.” Rose explained.

“We knew the Condesce as the Batterwitch, from our dancestors’ session.” Jade takes up the story, keeping everyone’s attention. “Upon winning our dancestors’ session, we were able to create a new universe, free from any faults. Before crossing over, Jane with her life powers, resurrected the dead trolls. And when we crossed into the new session, you twelve weren’t with us. We tried to mature a mother grub on earth, but it never took. And I found Alternia in a universe wide search. We left you alone, thinking it would be for the best. If you were happy, we didn’t want to ruin your peace.”

“Until my run in with the human version of Gamzee and Karkat.” Dave says. “They were telling Sollux a tale of an entire lifetime of living here on Alternia. And seeing you here, now….”

“We figured out what happened.” John cuts in. “It took a lot of drinking and about seven hours of going over it with a fine tooth comb…”

“We think you were given a choice, whether to be trolls or humans and some of you took one path, some of you took another.” Rose says, gaze landing on you. “And so, the game created two homes for you. The human world where we live…”

“And Alternia, where you live.” Jade says. “There are a lot of other worlds out there with intelligent life, probably populated by the game.”

“And we’re here now, to make you another offer.” Dave explains. “The two lives are putting a strain on all of you, a strain that isn’t noticeable. We estimate about two, maybe three weeks left before you start dying. It took a lot of digging into it, but it’s noticeable in some of you on your human sides more clearly than it should be. Spending months on end of your childhood in a hospital is a terrible way to grow up. So, we have the ability to sever the connection between the two worlds. You would be able to live, in each. Here, your lives would continue on as normal and you would forget if you ever dreamt about the human world.”

“And our human selves?” Feferi asks, caught up in the story. Her eyes are calculating as she listens.

“Will remember the game, will remember being trolls… Will probably even continue dreaming about this place, we don’t know.” Rose admits. “It’s foggy and hard to see and focus on. But your human selves should recall everything you have been through.”

“Including dying,” Jade’s voice is quiet but you catch it. “And killing,”

“But if we continue the way we do?” Sollux asks and you hear worry and nervousness in his voice. You frown, turning a concerned gaze to him.

“You’ll die.” John states simply.

“We’ll see you again, in two weeks for a wedding. If you want to give us your answer then, please do.” Dave says, voice somber. “Terezi, Vriska, Aradia, Sollux, Equius, and Gamzee all dream and remember this life there. They can pass on the answers for everyone. Wait, no, they dream of the human world, I think. Fuck, I don’t know. There’s six of you that dream of the troll world. They can pass along messages.”

“And if we don’t believe you?” Karkat demands.

“I forgot how fucking nubby and adorable your horns are. Come here Karkat, let me hug you.” Dave says, approaching and you take a step back, your chainsaw still out.

“Get away from me you flying douche,” Karkat says, avoiding Dave easily. “What bulge have you been sucking that you think that you can just hug any alien you please when you haven’t even gotten to probably know them yet? Jeez, you aliens are so fucking rude. Not to mention your complete and utter lack of knowledge of the quadrant systems. You can’t simply approach someone like that.”

“We have to leave soon Dave,” Jade warns. “Leave Karkat alone.”

“Fine,” Dave sighs, walking back over to Jade.

“We will need your answers in two weeks.” Rose says and the humans disappears, the trolls start talking again, asking questions as Feferi sits back down, picking up her trident. You move back next to her, those gathered seeming to have not noticed a difference at all. You feel shaken and you want nothing more than to retreat and think over what had just happened, but that won’t be for another hour.

For now, you focus on the trolls before you. You listen to Feferi answer questions, and you let the back of your pan turn over the question. You see, out of the corner of your eye, Gamzee frown and move back a step. The others are uneasy and you see Aradia keeping a tight grip on Feferi’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No but really, this chapter was only supposed to be Feferi addressing the trolls and maybe some FefKan and ended in that. Go figure.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit shorter, but the next two should make up for that?
> 
> Anyway, there is going to be one more troll chapter in this fanfic, and then the wedding that everything hits the fan for. I am not sure how many chapters that will be.
> 
> And then several one shots. The series itself will be called Rising From the Ash, and this main one may get renamed? Actually, it will. I haven't decided yet. But the one shots will be relationship building, a bit on the back past of the trolls(seagoat dad dying, Fef's lusus dying, ect) and then progressing forward in time, if I have the time to write.
> 
> I want to at least finish up this main fanfic before I leave for WA. I do not know how much time I will be able to dedicate to writing this fanfic series, my own editing/original stories I need to work on, and several other things while I start to work on a farm and learning how to work with dairy goats.
> 
> But, I do hope to expand and not just leave this high and dry cause it really is fascinating. And boy are some of the ships coming from left field. And I would like to expand on those left field ships cause they are pretty interesting.
> 
> Anyway, if you have any comments, don't be afraid to leave them! If you have any questions, you can also find me at ruunkur.tumblr.com!

You sit on the ground in front of the throne where moments before you had been addressing the trolls gathered. Now, you are watching your friends and truly steadying each of them in turn. Vriska and Terezi are quiet as Sollux, Aradia, and sometimes Gamzee speaks about their dreams in the human world. Nepeta is sprawled in front of Equius, the blue troll crossing his arms as he nods along in agreement.

“I have personally only ever dealt with Nepeta in the human world.” Equius admits, looking down at his moirail. “And I do recall her finding me and telling me these implausible dreams, which I agree is silly upon further consideration for my doubting it.”

“Do we agree with the basis that these humans have told us?” You ask finally, tipping your head as Aradia nods.

“Weeeeeeeell, I do have a question…” Vriska says, leaning forward. “What if it’s one giant web to entangle us all in? What if these humans want to lie to us? They would gain a lot by taking us out.”

“No, I wouldn’t believe it of them.” Sollux says and he sounds exhausted. You know it’s well past the time any of you should be sleeping. You ended your meeting about twenty minutes ago with and cleared the room. Sollux locked it down so no one would listen and the meeting turned to just you twelve. Things had to be decided, and quickly.

“I’ve spent a lot of time in the hospital,” Aradia says. “It feels like my body is fighting living some days. If we can stop that process and still live, I would like that more. I don’t want to forget either world though.”

“I agree,” Gamzee says after a moment, and you glance at him. “It’s wicked motherfucking miracles, exploring both places, but it takes a toll on the pan. Even with the practice I have walking the seams.”

“If we are not all in agreement…” You say, biting at the bottom of your lip. “We were only given fourteen days, for Aradia’s wedding? Who are you getting married to?”

Aradia clears her throat, looking down with a faint blush.

“Ohh, I know the answer to this one!” Terezi says with a grin. “Vriska’s brother,”

“I still don’t see why she would marry him.” Vriska comments, looking at her nails. “He’s soooooooo boring.”

“I’ve also seen him knock your ass out Vriska. He really isn’t that boring,” Aradia says with a smile. “It’s Tavros, though I don’t actually have flushed feelings for him here.” She says quickly, her gaze sliding to Sollux for a brief moment. Nepeta perks up, watching the interaction with more interest than she had a moment ago.

“Uh, that’s interesting. Tell me more on the uh… Knocking Vriska out?” Tavros asks with a smile.

“Come on, it’s old history.” Vriska whines and you have to laugh at that. Aradia shakes her head, eyes bright.

“She was picking on someone and you got tired of it. She wasn’t listening to anyone telling her to stop. So you punched her. Your parents were very unhappy about the fighting, but it serves her right.” Aradia says quickly, Vriska letting out a huffy sigh.

“Do we do as the humans suggest and cut our ties to the other world?” You ask, leaning forward, hair slipping down your face.

“It’s a wise idea,” Equius says finally.

“I spent a bunch of my childhood in and out of hospitals. I would like to avoid them for the rest of my life if possible,” Sollux says.

“I’m going to miss seeing,” Terezi sighs. “But at the cost of our lives, it’s too great to keep doing.”

“I don’t see why we shouldn’t heed their warnings.” Gamzee says, his voice rumbling and low. “It ain’t a motherfucking good idea to keep on going if it hurts us.”

“What about those of us that recall the troll dreams?” Eridan asks. “We can’t exactly weigh in on this decision if we can’t know how it effects us.”

“I think we should trust our friends. It doesn’t matter if we can’t remember.” Karkat manages, having kept quiet the whole time. You’re surprised when he does comment, glancing at him. “If what they say is true…”

“Yeah, from what Terezi has told me, I’m hard to get ahold of anyway.” Nepeta says, sitting up and looking around. “But I can pass on a message to the humans at Aradia’s wedding. I’ll miss the dreams of being here… But we’ll still be here. We still live, in both places.”

“Yes, she has a good point.” Kanaya says, glancing at you and meeting your gaze. “We will not be giving up either of our lives. We will just…”

“We won’t be able to connect the threads.” Eridan says. “We’ll be livin two separate lives, but we’ll still know, deep down.”

“There’s something that Dave said…” Sollux frowns. “We’ll remember this game that we played, that allowed us a chance at living again. It sounds like quite a few of us died during this game. The humans gave us a chance at continued living and they’re still extending that offer. I know Dave, very well. I don’t think this is something they would joke about, in any regard. I can’t say much for anyone else that was here… But there’s a feeling that we can trust them. Gamzee, you met him. What do you think?”

“He ain’t up to spinning the wicked lies.” Gamzee says after a moment, scratching the side of his head.

“He speaks the truth,” Terezi puts in before Gamzee could continue. She grins, leaning forward. “Such a lovely red that he wears too. Do you think you could add more red to Karkles outfit Kanaya? It would smell absolutely delicious.”

“Perhaps,” Kanaya says, shifting in her position next to you. “Only if Karkat wants more red. While we do maintain a black relationship, I will not have him destroying more of my hard work simply because it is in a color he dislikes.”

“I don’t need my blood color splashed on every single piece of clothing I own.” Karkat grumbles and laugh, losing yourself quickly before you find your balance and regain control.

“Who will be the ones to pass the messages along?” You ask. “Myself and Eridan live together and we will remember this conversation. It seems like Karkat is in touch with Dave. Would you be able to pass the message along when we wake up?”

“Hey sis, you gotta up and remember that our meat suits are up and walking around, doing the shit that they would be doing even without us actively present, so to speak. Because we are present.” Gamzee says, his eyes half closed. “I think Karbro already had Solbro talk to that Dave guy about it already. He knew what we decide, and Solbro lives with the human on occasion.”

“Do we want to tell them yes now?” You ask before the others get too distracted, several trying to ask Gamzee how he knew. You tap your trident against the floor to get their attention, your gaze hardening when they looked at you guiltily. “Do we tell them yes today?” You ask again.

The trolls looked at each other before looking at you, each one nodding in turn.

“I’ll let Dave or Sollux know then.” Karkat says and you nod, getting up from your spot on the floor.

“I saw we go to sleep, we have to be up early in the evening to get planetside. There, I want to broadcast an announcement for all trolls to hear. Can that be set up Sollux?” You ask, all business once more.

“Of course,” the troll said with a nod of his head and you smile back at him. “It’ll be done...first thing in the evening, I need sleep.”

“We all need sleep,” you agree, stretching as the others begin to get up as well. You take Kanaya’s hand, bidding the others good night before pulling her off to your block, the troll following you happily.

****

You wake up to the sound of your phone buzzing and voices in the other room. You fumble for your phone, answering it blindly and holding it to your ear. “Hello?”

“Hey Sollux,”

“You sound like someone killed your cat.” You say, getting out of the warm bed. You don’t remember falling asleep, other than knowing that Dave had stepped out for a while and hadn’t come to bed at all.

“Yeah? Well, I want to know what the fuck Dave Strider was doing on an alien ship last night.” Karkat shots back and you frown.

“He’s home, give a minute.” You say, setting the phone down briefly to pull on clothes that you had tossed on the floor last night. You grab your glasses before picking the phone back up, sitting on the bed. “Before I talk to him, what happened?”

“Feferi was having her meeting with the trolls when time just sorta...stopped working and Dave fucking Strider pops out of nowhere, wearing a ridiculous red outfit. Rose was there too, and so were John Egbert and Jade Harley. I don’t remember ever meeting those two, but the names sound really familiar. They talked about a game we played and how we used to be friends. And that we were going to die if they didn’t sever the connections between our human and troll selves?” Karkat says, voice numb. “It was weird, but I think we came to a conclusion regarding everything. Feferi is landing back on the planet tomorrow and is going to make a planetwide announcement about her plans too.”

“How did the trolls not attack the humans?” You ask, needing to listen to the story in full.

“They were frozen in place. We twelve could move, but the rest of those were stuck. It was weird.” Karkat admits. “But if you could tell Dave… We agreed to the severing. We were given until Aradia’s wedding to tell them, but we decided this morning that it would be a yes. You and Aradia mentioned health problems when you were younger.”

“Yeah, the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.” You sigh, listening to the voices outside the door. You didn’t want to deal with anyone that early, but you weren’t getting your way today.

“One other thing, you told me that the voices of the soon to be dead were coming back, last night before this happened.” Karkat says. “Do you think that could have something to do with what we were told? Can you remind me about it in the evening, after Feferi’s planetwide broadcast so we can talk about it?”

“Yeah, I can.” You say. “I will, that’s concerning that they’re back.”

“I think I said something like that too.” Karkat chuckles. “Anyway, you go talk to Dave. Gamzee’s trying to get my attention about something. Oh, he made breakfast. How nice of him.”

“I’ll let you to it,” you say. “Bye KK, love you.”

“Love you too,” Karkat says and hangs up. You run your hand through your hair once more before deciding that it would have to do for the time being. You shove the phone in your pocket, walking out of the bedroom and into the small living room.

Dave is sitting on the counter, Rose perched on a chair by the table, a book in hand. And two black haired kids you don’t remember meeting are talking to Dave, the man’s hands moving quickly while the girl with...dog ears? Was giggling and nodding along with the story.

“Am I interrupting?” You ask, walking into the kitchen and going to the fridge.

“Not at all, morning Sollux. These goof balls are John and Jade.” Dave says with a nod towards the two black haired kids you had not known previously. But you had known their names. Maybe it was what Karkat had told you injecting itself into reality.

“Nice to meet you,” you grab food and shut the fridge, glancing around at the people. The two new comers were staring at you, and you had been wrong about the dog ears on the girl. “Hey, KK says that we came to a decision earlier this morning and everyone agreed to the severing.”

“Shit, I didn’t expect any of you to come to that decision that quickly.” Dave says, his eyes hidden behind shades and you roll your own, aiming a light kick at his leg as you walk past him. He had jumped off the counter a moment prior and cursed when your foot connected with his ankle.

“Now boys, don’t start roughhousing his early in the morning. Could you imagine what your neighbors would say?” Rose inquires, looking up from her book.

“Eh, we’ve had worse complains.” Dave says, a smirk on his face. “What was it, two years ago that our neighbors complained to the police that we were being too loud during sex?”

“Yes, it was during Christmas. We interrupted their nice, quiet evening with our devilish rounds of sex. Are you and Rose actually related?” You ask, recalling the conversation when you had met Kanaya and the sense of lies you had been told. Jade and John glance at each other, John shaking his head.

“We’re related through the process of ectobiology, but not technically related.” He says, blue eyes sparking.

“You know what, forget I asked.” You decide, not even wanting to pick apart what ectobiology meant.

“Nah, Egdork’s got a point.” Dave says, throwing a towel at John. “We rode in on flaming meteors and are related through the creation of children via slime. If I recall the troll session, you all were created the same way too.”

“Dave, you are going to confuse him.” Rose comments, looking up from her book. “It would be simple put that we are related, but not in the normal terms that most humans would think in. I believe I am going to take my leave. Have a good morning Dave.”

“Yeah, I should head home too. I have work that I need to get done.” John says and quickly leaves behind Rose, leaving you, Dave, and Jade to stare at each other.

“It’s nice meeting you Sollux!” Jade says, getting up from her seat. “I am going to let Jane and the others know what they agreed to. I told them I would keep them updated after we went and talked to them… See you later Dave!” She hugs Dave, kissing his cheek before bounding out of the apartment and through what you could have sworn was a wall, but weren’t entirely sure you weren’t just tired and seeing things.

“I think I have more questions than answers...but we’ll get those answers at Aradia’s wedding, won’t we?” You ask, looking up at Dave and taking one of the recently vacated seats.

“Yeah, but I can answer questions now if you want.” Dave says.

“Will this change our relationship?” You ask after a moment. “From what KK said about last night, there are a lot of things that you have been keeping from me….but will our relationship change?”

 

“No, because I do care for you.” Dave says and takes your hand, sitting in the chair next to you. “Nothing will change between us unless you want it to change.”

“Will our memories of this life go away when we remember the game?” You ask.

“Nope,” Dave promises and kisses your fingers lightly, pushing his shades up and meeting your gaze. “You’ll remember everything, and we won’t change. I love you Sollux, please know that.”

“Thanks, love you too.” You say and feel yourself relax. “No more secrets, you’re going to start telling me everything now.”

“It’s a lot, but let me start…” Dave launches into the story while you begin to eat one handed, asking questions as they come up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to finish up this story. Than some one shots and maybe a multi chaptered sequel. But for sure two more chapters-hope to be done by Sunday. We got a new person at work so I cannot write during work anymore, it fucking drags since Im about half way on each of those chapters being complete too.


	27. Chapter 27

You stand before the mirror on the morning of your wedding, brown eyes wide in excitement as you turn to the dressmaker. It had taken several months to get in touch with her, but you had managed using several different reference points and relaying messages to get the seamstress's attention. And you are glad you did.

"It looks wonderful Kanaya!" You say, taking her hands.

The woman smiles, nodding and pulling her hands away from yours. "I am glad you like it, and I hope you don't mind the slight design change that I did? I thought this would better suit you... I realize that I should have asked prior."

"No, it looks absolutely gorgeous," you smile up at Kanaya, pulling her into a hug. "I am glad that you are also able to make it to the wedding. Tavros did an amazing job putting everything together. He's been so dedicated to make everything perfect for the reunion of friends old and new."

"Oh, he did the decorating?" Kanaya asks, raising an eyebrow and you nod, pulling away. "I thought someone had helped you do it. I was unaware that Tavros had an eye for decoration."

"Nope, that was all him!" You giggle and looping your arm through hers, heading out of the small changing room. You straighten and let go of Kanaya, running your hands over the red fabric happily. "Feferi!" You call, waving to the girl. She turned, bounding over to you. "You still able to do my hair? It's a mess and... Honestly, I don't know what to do with it."

"Of course!" Feferi says and has you sit down in a chair, her fingers combing through her hair. "Hey Kanaya, it's nice to meet you. How're you?"

"I am well, thank you." Kanaya says, looking towards Feferi and growing nervous. "I have a present for you, to remember the life we had briefly back on Alternia. I do apologize that I was not able to make you anything for your wedding Aradia..." She has her hand in her bag, already pulling out a piece of embroidery.

"Don't worry about it," you say as Feferi glances up, eyes widening when Kanaya shows her the embroidery piece she had been working on. "You made my dress and wouldn't even let me pay you for it when you found out who I was. I think that is more than enough to make up for not being able to make anything."

"Yes, well we have been friends for a long time on Alternia. It would be terrible if I charged my friend for help with her wedding." Kanaya responds, a faint smile on her face. "It was a delight to make your dress,"

"How is it going on Alternia?" You ask. "I haven't had a chance to get an update from Tavros with Vriska taking up all his attention. Or trying to, last I heard, she was looking for him."

"It's going well. The trolls have really taken to the new ideas that I have laid out for them." Feferi says, pulling out several combs and sitting you down so she could begin to work on your hair. "At the very least, they've stopped trying to krill me when I'm out on the streets! It's nice to be on Alternia, I bereef several others agree reef me too."

"It is a good step forward," Kanaya agrees. "It seems as if there will be far to go to truly change our people. But it will take time with any major change."

"We'll get there, together," you break in, glancing at Kanaya before Feferi clicks her tongue. You go back to looking forward, reaching up and lightly touching Feferi's wrist. "I'll be here for you, no matter what we remember, okay?"

"Yes, I had forgotten about that," Feferi frowns, returning your light touch. "How would you like your hair?"

"Braided," you say and Feferi gets to work, concentrating while you, she, and Feferi discuss the pros and cons of current reform on Alternia.

***

"Taaaaaaaavros!"

You turn when you hear the voice, raising a hand to block the sun from your eyes. "Hey Vriska, I haven't seen Tavros around, you looking for him?"

"Oh, you are?" The woman asks, stopping and placing hands on her hips. She has her hair pulled back, her blue eyes trained on you. You almost want to ask what it was like without the vision eightfold, but manage to keep the question away.

"Right, you remember the human dreams. Karkat," you say. "Nice to meet you. I'm looking for Eridan, have you seen him?"

"Nope," Vriska says, leveling a stare at you. "I guess it's good to meet everyone. Nepeta has been going on and on and on about everything that has happened recently. Sometimes I wish Terezi stuck her back in the bush she found her in. No, that's not true. I do care for Nepeta and Terezi absolutely adores her. I suppose it's good to get updates when I can't remember. But gooooooood, it took Nepeta a lot of convincing to get us to believe her."

"Nepeta?" You ask, glancing around. "I haven't seen her. Is she's here today?"

"Yes is. She's Terezi's girlfriend. I've stayed with them for the past two days for Aradia and Tavros's wedding. She's been keeping me updated. I guess I should have recognized you from her descriptions. You know she used to have a crush on you? At least that's what she told Terezi. Man, I've been friends with Terezi for years now and then she shows up with this cat obsessed girl and threw my entire life into chaos." Vriska smirks, her arms across her chest. "I wouldn't change it for the world,"

"Yeah, and I told her I wasn't interested." You say with a nod. "Besides, last I heard she was happy with being your matesprit. Though why she would want to date you, I don't know. Yeah, I get what you mean. I wouldn't have changed anything we've been through either."

"Wow, low blow Vantas. I have an amazing personality and you know it." Vriska says. 

"Yeah, an amazing personality if you wanted to become spider food." You point out.

"Now that is another low blow. Thanks a lot Vantas. Iam trying to put the past behind. Anyway, if you find Tavros, let him know I'm looking for him. I want to wish my baby brother aaaaaaaall the luck with getting married." Vriska pushes stray strands out of her face and offers you a small wave before she bounds off in her search.

"Yeah, I'll pass along the message if I see him." You say to her back and turn to look around the small area. You can see several people talking to each other, Dave having run off as soon as you, Gamzee, Sollux, and him had shown up. So far, you could see Equius sitting at a table with someone you took to be Nepeta, and Kanaya, Feferi, and Aradia were doing what they had to do.

You sit down in an empty seat, glancing up when you caught someone walking past.

"Hey Karkles," a voice says, Terezi taking the seat in front of you. She turns around, meeting your gaze. "Long time, no see. You look nice.”

"I don't think you've ever seen me Terezi." You scoff, rolling your eyes.

"Well, I guess you're right." Terezi says with a sigh. "But I get to see you now. Disappointing that you don't have those red eyes that I like to smell so much. They smell so delicious..."

"I'm looking for Eridan, have you seen him?" You ask, though you had given up on looking for him when you saw Vriska. You just wanted to confirm that he was indeed the same motel employee from your trip several weeks back.

"I think he was off talking to Gamzee a moment ago, but Gamzee's by himself. I see Sollux though. You know, it's nice being able to see." Terezi muses.

"I thought you dreamt of the human world?" You ask.

"I do," Terezi agrees. "But I get to listen to Nep talk about you so much that it feels like I know you. And just from listening to her stories, I don't get to actually see you. Not to mention, I have only met you this once. I'm glad that we won't forget everyone. That we'll know what these other kids know."

"But, according to Dave, we'll get to remember." You say and glance up when the guests filter in, the wedding music starting. Gamzee and Sollux find you shortly after, Vriska, Nepeta, and Equius sitting in the row behind you.

"Talk to you later Karkles!" Terezi gets up and makes her way over to sit with them.

You settle down, watching as a woman stands at the head of the gathering, calling everyone's attention. You see everyone else settle down, Kanaya coming from a side room. You see a tall man head to stand in front of the woman, nodding at her.

"Good afternoon everyone, and thank you for coming to Aradia's and mine's wedding. As some of you may have realized, everyone that we invited has the ability to dream of other worlds. And I would like to say, it's nice to see everyone here, like we are on Alternia. Now, we discussed recently with everyone about... Well, I can't explain it very well. But, Roxy?" He asks, glancing at the woman in front of him.

"Yes, and after the ceremony, we will get into that. Dave, will you start the music?" Roxy asks with a smile. "The other matter will be taken care of afterwards." 

Everyone turns in their seats as the music starts and you watch, captivated by Dave's music.

***

You listen to the music as you watch Aradia and Tavros get married. It’s nearly enough to bring a tear to your eye, but you know there are things that have to be done. You glance over to your girlfriend, reaching out and taking her hand.

Overhead, you hear birds sing and you can hear Roxy pronounce them married. And you stand, letting go of Kanaya’s hand as you nod to your friends.

“Congrats,” John says, standing next to the cake he had made for them.

“Thank you for inviting us.” Dirk adds. “But, as you know, there are other reasons that we’re here. Rose?”

You clear your throat, straightening. Aradia and Tavros had sat in the front row, Vriska rolling her eyes. “Half of you will remember the conversation that we had. And hopefully you have all been able to converse. Karkat told us that you agreed to us severing your connection to your alternate selves. And so, we will do so. Do you have anything that you want us to do for the Alternian trolls?”

You glance around, eyes resting on Feferi. “Will you return to Alternia for us? In ten sweeps...twenty or so years years from now. I want to know that we continue.” She says. "I want to know that my reign will be strong."

“That can happen.” You say, briefly confirming it with the others. “In ten sweeps, we shall visit you on Alternia, if that will still be your desire. We will approach the subject when it comes time. Shall we begin?”

***

_You watch the light filter through the doorway, glancing to each side of you. Fallen friends had joined you, friends that had been given a chance at a new life. Up ahead, you see Tavros and Feferi talking with Jade and Kanaya. You can feel on how each death weighed heavily on your heart. You glance up when you see the door open all the way and you take a deep breath in, eyes wide in anticipation._

_A new chance._

_You see some of the humans up ahead, the Maid of Life nodding at each of your resurrected friends as they pass through the doorway. You take a step forward, feeling Dave rest a hand on your shoulder. You glance back, wondering when he had dropped back to talk to you._

_"Hey Karkat, no matter what happens, know that I care for you." Dave says, his glasses pushed up on his head so you can see his eyes._

_"Jesus Dave, you sound like we're going to die if we walk through the door." You say with a roll of your eyes. Their color had come in during the time on the meteor and, while you are still self conscious, you feel better knowing that Dave has the same colored eyes as you. "We just walk through the door, and bam, new world. Right?"_

_"Yeah, it theory." Dave agrees and you roll your eyes. "Look, we don't actually know how the whole new world works. No one has won. Yes, you would have won if we hadn't fucked up, no you do not need to get into it. Now, like I was saying.... We don't know what will happen when we walk through to the new world. Fuck, we could still be fighting though I hope not. There's nothing left. And I just..." He trails off and you raise an eyebrow._

_"You're starting to sound like you are admitting pale feelings for me and I do not know how I feel about that." You say._

_"Fuck, I don't have pale feelings for you!" Dave says, his voice louder than necessary. You laugh when others look at you and him and you wave your hand to get them to look elsewhere._

_"Then...what do you have Dave?" You ask, point blank as you look up at him. He had grown taller over the past three years. There's scars that you know wouldn't have been there if you had never played the game. You take his hand in yours, both of you stepping to the side for a chance of peace for the conversation._

_"I love you," Dave says, staring into your eyes. "I don't know what the world will bring, where we will end up. But I want you to know that I love you. When we walk through that door, I want to...I don't know, but I want my life to be with yours, as long as you will have me. What do you think Karkat?"_

_You stare, mouth hanging open. You're speechless, not sure what else you would say before you nod. "I would like that," you manage. The words are still wanting to run away, but you force them out of your mouth. "I like you a lot too, flushed wise. The entire time we were on the meteor, I wasn't sure where I stood with anything. But, depending on the new world.... I would like to get us a chance." You meet his gaze and see him smile._

_"Together?" He asks, offering you a hand._

_"Together," you say as you take it and turn to face the door_

***

"Upon exiting the game, you were given a choice. Half of you choose to remain trolls, half of you choose to become humans. With the decision split, together you were reborn into each of the worlds. Throughout the centuries, you chased your own shadows. You wanted to be with everyone. The humans lived and watched the worlds grow, chasing shadows of their own. Now, you come together. You remember half of one life or half of another. But as you remember, you will understand that death is something we all most come to. We have each experienced it, and you know it true. But from here on out, know you walk the path that you were given. The path that skates death, living within the confines of life until the end of time.

"There are those that came before you, that have passed in your world. Those that you know as brother, sister, mother, father... They, one day, will remember, in their own way. This life, the next, or several after. But you will know them when they do. Know this true: Severing the ties to the choice that you were offered... You are given your memories, your lives, your vitality back. Completors of the game, walk forth and remember. With the help of those that you have loved, of those that you have befriended. Remember...."

***

You open your eyes, watching the light filter down through the trees. You see the wedding guests looking at each other, some guilty and some smirking. And you remember. You remember the darkness you were trapped in; the heaviness that weighed your soul and the blood on your hands. You remember, and you cry. You cry for those that you have killed. You look across the way and see them; see forgiveness. Understanding, and you know. Your actions were not your own and you look over, your boyfriend's hand in yours and know things will be made right, in due time.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue! Don't worry, there should be more to come.
> 
> I am proud of myself for actually finishing a supposedly shits and giggles fanfic in less than a month and for it to hit over 60k worth of words

You stand on the right of the empress as she stares at the masses of trolls in front of her. It had been sweeps since her reign began. It had been sweeps since you and your friends had set out at the tender age of eight and a half sweeps to defeat the previous empress, Her Imperial Condescension. It had not been sweeps since you last fought.

Ten sweeps have past and you have all filled your rules, all settled down. The planet is teeming with the first new brood since the empress had taken over. Since the new rules had been put into place.

“Good evening Trolls of Alternia,” the empress says and her voice echoes around the square and you can see several video cams picking up the feed. "Thank you for coming tonight. We have many things to talk about-"

You feel the troll to your right freeze, your gaze barely landing on him before you see everyone in front of you freeze. Already your weapon is in hand, your moirail glowing blue and red, sparks flashing off of him.

Feferi bares her teeth as there’s a curse. “Damn it Dave, you’re on my hood.”

“Geez Egbert, tie your hood around your waist!” The offender scoffed. “This is the second time.”

“Boys, please.” A third voice sighed. “You’re going to give us a bad reputation. We have a reputation to uphold.”

“Gam,” you hear Eridan warn softly, a hand restraining his moirail’s arm. You tear your gaze away from the four strange creatures, looking at your matesprit to make sure he was okay. The troll took a step back, forcing his shoulders to relax.

“Who are you?” Feferi demanded, trident in hand. You watch her step forward, her hair struggling to escape the braid she had it in. She raises her trident, aiming it at one of the aliens, the points gleaming.

“Hey, we come in peace.” One of the short haired aliens say. “No weapons on us, we promise.”

“You don’t need no motherfucking weapons to be up and attacking a troll.” Gamzee snarls, voice as restrained as he could make it.

“Fuck, isn’t this going exactly how it went last time?” The red hooded alien said. “I swear…”

“Dave, do us a favor and shut up.” One of the long haired aliens suggest, tossing black hair over its shoulder. “We’re sorry for bothering you Empress Feferi. We do come in peace, I promise. It was at a request that we come and check up on you. Though it seems we...interrupted a meeting?” It glances around, looking at the gathered trolls behind them.

Feferi lowers her trident and you glare at the aliens. “How do you know the Benevolent Empress's wriggler name?” You demand, sickle still in hand.

“Wait, shit, you all go by titles when you’re adults.” The red hooded man face palmed, Sollux tensing next to you. "I mean, we know all of your names, but that's because of something else."

"We don't know their titles Dave," the other black haired alien says. "But we do come in peace, as I said. We have no want or intention to fight any of you."

"Who would request that we be checked up on? My ancestor wiped out nearly half a galaxy before she was culled. There would be no one close that wishes to have us living." Feferi rolls her weapon in her hands, moving down the steps and closer to the humans. "Who are you?"

"About...ten sweeps ago, we came to you. We come as friends, as we did then. You may remember a meeting on a ship?" The long haired alien inquires, white barkbeast ears on its head. "My name is Jade Harley, my friends are Dave Strider, John Egbert, and Rose Lalonde. It's a bit hard to explain, but..."

"We were sent by you," Dave says, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Damn, trolls are still weird to look at." He had moved off John's hood, the man holding the bottom of his hood in his hands.

"Dave, that's rude." John says, dropping his hood and crossing his arms. "And don't forget, you-"

"Boys!" Rose snapped, clapping her hands. "I do apologize about them, we are working on getting them to behave. It is not working well, as you can see. As Dave started to say, we were asked to check up on you by... It's hard to explain. But it seems as if your planet is doing well."

"Yes, I suppose it would be hard to explain. Eridan?" Feferi says with a gesture and Eridan raises his gun. He aims it just above the humans' heads, firing off a shot.

Dave jumps back, Jade rolling her eyes. "We're not a threat," she nearly snaps. "I would prefer if we didn't end up becoming plasma folder.”

"Then what the shell are you doing here?" Feferi demands, her voice becoming more of a hiss.

"We don't take kindly to strange aliens just appearing in our planet." You say, sickle inching higher. It's familiar, the scene. You find yourself itching to write something about it. As you consider the plot possibilities, the aliens look at each other, shaking their heads before the one wearing orange steps forward.

"We apologize but ten sweeps ago, we were asked to come check on you." She explains. "You have a lawyer among you that can sniff out the truth of our words."

"Well, Ms Orangecicle is not...lying. But I don't know what the term lawyer means." Terezi says with a frown, tapping her cane against the floor. "How strange that her words ring true. And just who sent you?"

Rose sighs, pushing back her hood and looking over them before her gaze lands on Vriska. "Does your vision eightfold see the conversation ending any way other than pointless circles?"

"Well, aren't you well informed?" Vriska asked, raising a hand to her eye. "Strange, asking that seems to have changed the course... Someone told you to ask that question."

"Yes," Rose says, her gaze sweeping the group. "Do you remember us coming to you, ten sweeps ago?"

"It's...vague, but I remember it," you admit finally. "Feferi, we do have an important meeting to get back to. What would you like us to do with these aliens?" Your gaze turns to the empress, gaze searching for confirmation.

"Let them swim free," Feferi says, lowering her trident with a sigh. "I am not looking for a war, not with the infighting among the hemocastes."

"Hey Feferi, if anyone can unite everyone, it's you!" Jade says, patting her pockets before stepping forward. She holds out a piece of fabric, the pattern too far for you to catch. "I was told that this was for you. You could recognize the work? The maker and receiver wanted you to have it."

You watch the empress take the piece of fabric, looking at it as Kanaya walks over to study it as well, raising an eyebrow. You move closer, catching sight of the embroidered artwork.

"Fascinating, I have never seen anyone else but myself be able to do such detail in embroidery... Do you know us?" She asks, looking at the humans.

"Something like that." John says. "We're your friends. But, you don't remember anything about us. We're friends, we don't want to fight you."

"We will not fight such fragile looking aliens..." Feferi decides, putting the piece in her pocket. "Do you have time for a meal? I would like to ask you more questions."

The red hooded man smiles. "If there's anything we have plenty of, it's time. You just have to be back in front of the trolls before we leave. Time is paused, what would you like to know? There may be some things we can or cannot explain. And we would like to ask our own questions, from concerned friends. But, if we could make this a two way street, that would be good for everyone involved."

"Sounds up and motherfucking fun," Gamzee comments, shuffling into view and you watch Dave Strider freeze and look up at your tall matesprit, his eyes hidden by sunglasses before you sixteen trudge off to a private corner, the gathered trolls staring and frozen to their places until the unplanned meeting is through.


End file.
